BWM Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 so me and my ex went a week without no contact. I rang her just know so I could finally get some closure and yet again she doesn't really give it me. We spoke on the phone for around ten minutes she was drunk so I decided to go for the kill and get the closure I needed. She says she would love for us to be mates, then she says in the future maybe we could get back together being years down the line, All i want to know is for sure where I stand as this is hanging over me and I would like to know if i could move on on try and make it work with this women, any thoughts?
MyHeartTakesOver Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 Take it from someone who's been there recently; you're looking for answers that aren't coming. My partner left me for someone else. I never got the answers I wanted from him because he didn't have them to give. I got them from other people who helped me see things objectively. She won't give you closure. You have to give it to yourself. Take a few deep breaths. Understand that on this you are on your own. Make a promise to yourself that you will get yourself where you want to be for you. If it's meant to be she'll come after you. Let us know what happens. This forum is a real help if you need to vent. 1
mike588 Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 so me and my ex went a week without no contact. I rang her just know so I could finally get some closure and yet again she doesn't really give it me. We spoke on the phone for around ten minutes she was drunk so I decided to go for the kill and get the closure I needed. She says she would love for us to be mates, then she says in the future maybe we could get back together being years down the line, All i want to know is for sure where I stand as this is hanging over me and I would like to know if i could move on on try and make it work with this women, any thoughts? By her telling you that we could get back together in the future means she's not interested in getting back together any time soon and really isn't thinking about it. Shes being "nice" and giving you false hope! Your wondering if you can "make it work" with her...well thats up to her. You need to look at it like it's over for good and move on...Don't contact her again!!!! If she has a change of heart she will let you know!
Author BWM Posted August 20, 2012 Author Posted August 20, 2012 she's offered me to go for a drink in town in around 3 weeks? I will remind her in the morning as she may forget. If i do attend how do I play it? do I search for the answers I need or just play it out cool, thanks for the help.
Me13 Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Sounds to me like she's leading you on big - style. When people break up, there's a massive control-game that goes on. She may not want you (well, she's made it pretty obvious), but there is still a natural self-esteem boost in knowing that you're there to jump when she tells you to. The final decision is up to you, but as someone who has been there twice now after very long-term relationships and been toyed around for months because I never had the hard-nerve to just say, "You know what? Screw you", I can tell you that you're probably making a huge mistake. A real loving relationship? This wouldn't happen. Think about what you deserve as a person, then strive to find that elsewhere. (In my humble opinion). 1
mike588 Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 she's offered me to go for a drink in town in around 3 weeks? I will remind her in the morning as she may forget. If i do attend how do I play it? do I search for the answers I need or just play it out cool, thanks for the help. Don't remind her..let her remind you!! How do you play it you ask?? Don't play it..Don't call her or meet her! Look..she broke up with you if she feels she made a mistake and wants you back SHE WILL let you know!!! In the mean time ignore her and leave her alone. I'm sure she knows how you feel...that you want her back...no need to remind her...disappear.. let her wonder about you...what your doing..what your up to....let her wonder why you haven't contacted her...this may...may bug her and spark her curiousity. Your other option is to continue to contact her....become upset and ask questions and to remind her that your waiting for her..that your lost without her..thats pathetic and will only push her further away...is this what you want?? Again...SHE brokeup with YOU...she doesn't want you in her life right now so give it to her....disappear!! You may feel if you don't contact her she'll forget about you? She hasn't forgotten about you and it's best to leave her with good/positive memories of you rather than you coming across as a pathetic...whiney...needy and looking like a real loser!!! Don't contact her. I know it's tough and your struggeling now but it's your best option. 1
Renesis13B Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 she's offered me to go for a drink in town in around 3 weeks? I will remind her in the morning as she may forget. If i do attend how do I play it? do I search for the answers I need or just play it out cool, thanks for the help. That's what my ex told me too. I haven't replied here in probably 2 years. Don't make the same mistake I did and try to wait. It won't work. I was also slightly happy when she said maybe in the future we could get back together. No.. That's BS. She wants to be nice. She will try to contact you and whatnot because she probably feels bad rejecting you that's all. I kept going NC and she kept texting me. Never again did I start a convo. I currently do have a gf and well, funny thing is, that same ex text me about 2 weeks ago. She wanted to know how I was doing. She's engaged now. She hasn't stopped texting me.. Honestly, it's more of a friend thing now. Just move on man. Don't stress it.
Chi townD Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Dude! Even in a drunken state, she still said that she doesn't want you! What else to you need to hear or see? Her in bed with some other dude to finally understand that she doesn't want to be with you? Dude, I think you deserve so much better. You're chasing someone that doesn't want to be chased. I think it's about time you start NC, heal and move on.
Regrets58 Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Please don't meet up with her.It's a minefield being friends with an ex too soon.If you still have feelings stay away.I am 54,have coped with losing a much loved Wife to illness.Thought I could handle anything. Believe me staying in contact with my ex messed with my mind badly.
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