The Tallest One Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 Hi all! It's been a very depressing weekend for me! I feel so incredibly alone that I can't stand it! No matter where I go or what I do (gym, work, movie theatre, out with my son) I still can't get ex gf out of my head! She's been contacting me for the last two weeks but this only gives me false hope which I don't need! I know I need to tell her that I can't be "friends"! How can people expect you to go from being in love with them, to being "just friends" and be ok with that? It really hurts! I haven't been this down since she broke up with me about two months ago! Just want this pain to go away! Been stuck in a dark lonely place for a long time now! So unhappy!
Tallblueyed Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Hey Tallest; sorry to hear this week has be rough. Our time-frames are very close. Our stages must be synchronized, because this week has been hell for me too. I have accepted that I am officially in the 'grieving stage'. I don't want to be around anybody, and I have actually cried twice this weekend (which is probably therapeutic). My STBXWS had pushed for us to remain 'friends'; I told her that could be something we came back to, only after we successfully established our lives away from one another (i.e. at least a year). I just keep telling myself that this is part of the process. It is affirming to know that it is part of a healthy recovery - someday we will be grateful that we didn't hide, mask, or delay this process (at least that is what I keep telling myself). Hang in there. Monday through Friday is okay for me, I get lost in work - but the weekends are dreadful.
Soxfaninfl Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 (edited) I know I need to tell her that I can't be "friends"! How can people expect you to go from being in love with them, to being "just friends" and be ok with that? It really hurts! My wife said the same bull**** to me in counseling when she told me that she wanted to end our life together after 9 years of marriage (11 total years). She said maybe we could be friends in 5 years, and I said NO way. I told her if you don't want me in your life as your husband then you don't get to have me at all. She didn't want to give counseling a chance. I later found out she was seeing another man. She was the first and only women that I was in love with. 2 1/2 years later it still hurts. She was the love of my life. I can't fully heal and move on with my life if we tried to be friends. I have to constantly deal with her because we have a 9 year old son together. That has made it hard to heal and I'm still struggling with that. I've never been friends with an ex it just doesn't work. Edited August 20, 2012 by Soxfaninfl
weallfalldown Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 i know how you feel my friend....Just keep going;)
Blastoplast Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 My EX wants to remain friends... She wants to catch up this week, so we'll see how it goes. Some people can make it work, some can't. It all depends on how the break-up goes, more than anything else. If it turns out my EX was cheating on me at the end, I wouldn't want anything to do with her and I would expect other people to do the same. But we broke up over financial strain, so it's a little different for us.
episkopos Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 So sorry for you Tallest Guy. Try not to be too hard on yourself. Keep doing your normal routines and allow yourself time to get over her. However if there is the possibility of getting together again, don't shrug it off. Wish you the best.
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