somedude81 Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 I'm going to be graduating in May 2013. The absolute last thing I want to do is leave this school without having at least kissed a girl. What can I do to make sure something happens before May? I'm basically starting at ground zero. I might as well be a new student because I won't know anybody. So what advice would you give to one who is starting a new school? I would like to make friends and get a girlfriend, or at least casually date somebody. In the past I've had strictly platonic friendships with women I met on campus but I always ended up getting hurt in the end. I don't have any interest in doing that again. BTW: I'm sure some of this have been covered in my other old thread, but that thread got way out of control/off topic.
Author somedude81 Posted August 20, 2012 Author Posted August 20, 2012 Oh yeah, I want to avoid talking about that girl from my past at all here.
Balzac Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 So basically 15 weeks in semester one. Have youo looked over activities for week #1 and where the Frosh girls are going to move in their herd? Easy picking that herd. What can we help you with?
Author somedude81 Posted August 20, 2012 Author Posted August 20, 2012 So basically 15 weeks in semester one. Have youo looked over activities for week #1 and where the Frosh girls are going to move in their herd? Easy picking that herd. What can we help you with? It's easy to get the Freshmen girls? What activities should I be on the look out for? As for help, I really don't know what I'm doing at all. I just want to some how accomplish the seemingly impossible.
eleanorhurting Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 SD for some reason I thought you were older. How old are you? are you involved in any clubs or activities?
USMCHokie Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 SD for some reason I thought you were older. How old are you? are you involved in any clubs or activities? He is older and got a later start in college... I believe he is 30...?
eleanorhurting Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 He is older and got a later start in college... I believe he is 30...? ohh that is great! Are the girls you go to college with your age or are they younger (18-23)?
Balzac Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Begin w free all go campus events. Particularly those targeting Frosh. Cruise campus looking for them with their "lost look" and ask to help them find their way. Large or small campus? Are you a nerd who is good at certain subjects? Help us out here! Tutoring in a volunteer center or for cash. Volunteer escort after hours. Ultimate Frisbee? It's all possible for you. Talk to us. We've all been in your shoes just not yesterday! Major? Gamer? Musician?
Imajerk17 Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 (edited) You didn't get enough advice in all your previous threads?? (A) Go back and reread all the advice given to you in your previous threads. (B) The condensed version of all the advice you've gotten so far from Meeks, Teknoe, and everyone else: Push yourself out of your comfort zone in a meaningful significant way. Edited August 20, 2012 by Imajerk17 5
Author somedude81 Posted August 20, 2012 Author Posted August 20, 2012 SD for some reason I thought you were older. How old are you? are you involved in any clubs or activities? I'm trying to decide on what clubs and activities I should join. Considering these clubs: Salsa dance, Japanese Club, my majors club Information Systems, and maybe the anime club. I'm not sure what else I should look out for. Begin w free all go campus events. Particularly those targeting Frosh. I don't really know what activities would target the freshmen except for the orientation stuff. Though I can keep a lookout for free events. Cruise campus looking for them with their "lost look" and ask to help them find their way. Heh, help the lost ones. Large or small campus? Are you a nerd who is good at certain subjects? Help us out here! Tutoring in a volunteer center or for cash. It's a pretty large campus. ~60 thousands students. The only subject I'm not horrible at is my computer stuff and there are no girls in that major Volunteer escort after hours. There's an actual service, are you suggesting I join it? I've seen those guys at night offering rides to the parking lot and such. Ultimate Frisbee? Like join a club or team? I actually like frisbee so I thought about it. Talk to us. We've all been in your shoes just not yesterday! Major? Gamer? Musician? Major is Information Systems. I'm a gamer but also like anime. Yeah pretty nerdy but I try not to be a nerd. I use the gym every once in a while but not enough. That's one thing I'll do more of. (B) The condensed version of all the advice you've gotten so far from Meeks, Teknoe, and everyone else: Push yourself out of your comfort zone in a meaningful significant way. Like much of the advice I've been given, that is extremely vague.
Art_Critic Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Chloroform and Duct Tape .... I kid.. I kid... There is life after college.... I never went to college and never had issues getting dates.. maybe you will be more successful with women out of the college setting....something to think about 1
Author somedude81 Posted August 20, 2012 Author Posted August 20, 2012 Chloroform and Duct Tape .... I kid.. I kid... Why duct tape when you have chloroform? There is life after college.... I never went to college and never had issues getting dates.. maybe you will be more successful with women out of the college setting....something to think about Yeah things may be easier after college, but that's still at least a year away. I really don't want to be single and sexless for another year.
Art_Critic Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Why duct tape when you have chloroform? The chloroform gets them to your place and the duct tape keeps them there .. I'm only kidding by the way.... Maybe trying to date women that don't go to your college...
Author somedude81 Posted August 20, 2012 Author Posted August 20, 2012 The chloroform gets them to your place and the duct tape keeps them there . Ah, for when I want them conscious. . I'm only kidding by the way.... Yeah, me too..... Maybe trying to date women that don't go to your college... Like drive to a different city and check out a different campus. Seems like an awful lot of trouble when there are plenty of girls at my school. 1
Balzac Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Dude81 are you by any chance a Veteran? 60,000 is a large state campus. Tons of opportunity. Set small, very specific goals. Smile and say "hi" to X girls everyday. Then progress to introduction.
joystickd Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 1. Stop platonic friendships with women 2. Believe in you and what you have to offer to women. 3. See yourself as the prize 4. Go out and try to meet women 5. Make some friends and have some fun 6. I should have made this number one but stop making this meeting women thing so damn important.
Els Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Your ideas of anime club, Salsa club and Japanese club would be good. Information Systems club would be good for your career if you're interested in it, but I wouldn't think it would be the most likely place to meet girls in, no. If you haven't already, you can probably attend orientation along with the freshmen. There are usually quite a few getting-to-know-people events there and most people make their first college friends through that. I actually skipped out on mine because our seniors made the mistake of trying to hardball and threaten us into it, most people went just because they were scared of what would happen to them, and I was 18 and stubborn and determined to show them that nobody was the boss of me. I did manage to make friends in the end, but it took me much longer than it would have had had I just attended orientation.
johan Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to say hi to one attractive girl tomorrow. Hi, and only hi. Don't worry about dates or kissing or what she thinks about it. Just do it. 3
kaylan Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 (edited) You know what you do OP. You face the reality that unless your a guy whos 18 to 26 (general under grad and grad student age), you arent going to be top choice for many younger college girls. Focus on finding a girl your age that you actually like. The college lifestyle ship sailed a while ago dude. You are going on 31 years of age...and you dont wanna be that weird older dude trying to hang out with all the young kids. If anything you can always hang with grad students. They are older and more mature. You wont have luck with undergrads really. Edited August 20, 2012 by kaylan 2
Author somedude81 Posted August 20, 2012 Author Posted August 20, 2012 Dude81 are you by any chance a Veteran? Nope. Never been in the service. 60,000 is a large state campus. Tons of opportunity. Exactly, and it's like 60% women, if not a bit higher. So it shouldn't be hard at all to get somewhere. Set small, very specific goals. Smile and say "hi" to X girls everyday. Then progress to introduction. Saying hi to random girls is too small of a goal. I could also walk up to a bunch of girls on campus and introduce my self, but what would that accomplish? Is trying to cold approach random girls I see an effective method? 1. Stop platonic friendships with women 2. Believe in you and what you have to offer to women. 3. See yourself as the prize 4. Go out and try to meet women 5. Make some friends and have some fun 6. I should have made this number one but stop making this meeting women thing so damn important. 1. Yeah I'm doing being platonic friendships. I made that decision a while ago. 2 & 3 are difficult to accept. 4. Meeting women is not the problem. I'll meet tons of girls when school starts, guaranteed. But I want to do more than meet them. 5. I'd love to. But it's not that easy. 6. Just how like driving a car is not important to somebody who is driving everyday. Your ideas of anime club, Salsa club and Japanese club would be good. Information Systems club would be good for your career if you're interested in it, but I wouldn't think it would be the most likely place to meet girls in, no. The thing is, I've already joined those clubs before, but as I said earlier, I haven't even kissed a girl since I've been going to this school. So I feel I did something wrong. I'm wondering what I can do differently. Should I just start asking out girls right away I meet in clubs? If you haven't already, you can probably attend orientation along with the freshmen. There are usually quite a few getting-to-know-people events there and most people make their first college friends through that. I actually skipped out on mine because our seniors made the mistake of trying to hardball and threaten us into it, most people went just because they were scared of what would happen to them, and I was 18 and stubborn and determined to show them that nobody was the boss of me. I did manage to make friends in the end, but it took me much longer than it would have had had I just attended orientation.I think the freshmen orientation ended a while ago. I'm not really sure about the dates. I actually transferred in as a Jr. so I don't know anything about freshmen orientation. You know what you do OP. You face the reality that unless your a guy whos 18 to 26 (general under grad and grad student age), you arent going to be top choice for many younger college girls. Focus on finding a girl your age that you actually like. The college lifestyle ship sailed a while ago dude. You are going on 31 years of age...and you dont wanna be that weird older dude trying to hang out with all the young kids. If anything you can always hang with grad students. They are older and more mature. You wont have luck with undergrads really. For now, I want to leave talk of my age out of this thread. Call me delusional, but I don't want to think about the negatives.
joystickd Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 For now, I want to leave talk of my age out of this thread. Call me delusional, but I don't want to think about the negatives. Well you are going to have to consider the negatives and how to work with them
Author somedude81 Posted August 20, 2012 Author Posted August 20, 2012 Well you are going to have to consider the negatives and how to work with them So tell me how I can work with, meaning using it to my advantage, being 31 when school starts?
joystickd Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 So tell me how I can work with, meaning using it to my advantage, being 31 when school starts? You wouldn't be open to it. I noticed people suggest things then you come up with excuses not to do it and find ways to rationalize that its ok to be a loser and addicted to the struggle. Are you ready to stop being addicted to the struggle and finally doing what it takes? Are you ready to accept that YOU are keeping you from success and not height, looks, money, etc? 1
Author somedude81 Posted August 20, 2012 Author Posted August 20, 2012 You wouldn't be open to it. I noticed people suggest things then you come up with excuses not to do it and find ways to rationalize that its ok to be a loser and addicted to the struggle. Are you ready to stop being addicted to the struggle and finally doing what it takes? Are you ready to accept that YOU are keeping you from success and not height, looks, money, etc? Heh, does any of that have to do with this thread? I'm asking what I can do in my last year of college. If I can somehow use my age to help me, then I'm all for it.
Els Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 The thing is, I've already joined those clubs before, but as I said earlier, I haven't even kissed a girl since I've been going to this school. So I feel I did something wrong. I'm wondering what I can do differently. Should I just start asking out girls right away I meet in clubs? Can't hurt to try that (since it's the polar opposite of what you did in the past, so it might work), but you need to learn to take rejection positively while you're at it. Approaching grad students in university that are closer to your age, as kaylan suggested, might be an idea. I think the freshmen orientation ended a while ago. I'm not really sure about the dates. I actually transferred in as a Jr. so I don't know anything about freshmen orientation. If there are two intakes a year, go for the next one. Can't hurt.
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