How Men Perceive Women

[mesmerized]

I hate to break this to you but we do this for the same reason we always manage to be a few years off when it comes to guessing how old you are.

 

Not being able to imagine she's really 30 is the equivalent of pouring about two martini's down her throat only it's free and legal to sleep with her afterwards.

 

nah honey. It's cause I have a tiny waist that's always stayed small no matter what weight I've had. Men tend to look at my chest and waist to hip ratio and that "tricks" them into thinking I weigh less than what I do. A woman with straight figure would show her weight more.

[Greznog]

nah honey. It's cause I have a tiny waist that's always stayed small no matter what weight I've had. Men tend to look at my chest and waist to hip ratio and that "tricks" them into thinking I weigh less than what I do. A woman with straight figure would show her weight more.

 

Sure thing

[Els]

I've not found this to be true amongst the guys I've been with, but admittedly they are a fairly small subset of the population.

[phineas]

Bmi.

Lol!

[Emilia]

Apparently, men perceive their own weight as less than it is while they perceive women's weight more than it is. Men also perceive their partner's weight inaccurately and will even think women that are normal or under-weight as being over weight.

 

Interesting stuff and something to think about.

 

I read somewhere that French women over estimate their weight while British under estimate it. Maybe it depends on what people are used to?

 

I've never had a man estimating my weight I don't think. Maybe when I was really young and used to be skinny but not for the last 10-15 years I don't think. I have small ankles and wrists and men comment on that occasionally but beyond those I've never had one coming up with some number or ask.

[kaylan]

Sure thing

mesmerized isnt blowing smoke up your butt with what she told you.

 

Stats mean nothing sometimes. Its all about visual evidence...because I remember sharing my stats in a thread and one girl actually thinking I would be too muscly...when I only wish that were true. Im pretty lean.

Edited August 20, 2012 by kaylan

[Revolver]

Men want the women they date/sleep with to be in shape and not fat. I see nothing wrong with that

[Disenchantedly Yours]

I've not found this to be true amongst the guys I've been with, but admittedly they are a fairly small subset of the population.

 

I don't think most men are going to be totally hoenst with what they really think of their partner's body. The men in the the study where asked specific questions about what they thought about their partners body and then subsequet information was provided. It's not a big surprise anyway because it's kind of a long standing generality that men usually think they are better looking than they are while women are much harder on themselves. This jsut shows that men are harder on women and their weight then they are themselves. Even if you don't totally think BMI has merit, you can see see the difference in the responses men had about their own bodies vs their partners and how the BMI numbers came out. Although I would agree that BMI isn't a perfect system, I don't think the study is totally inconclusive either.

 

I remember this article I read once about a study that first asked men how much make-up they liked on a woman. Most of the men said they only liked a "little" make-up or they liked the natural look. Then these men where given three images of the same woman with different degrees of make-up on. The first pictures was a little make up, the second was medium make-up and the last was a lot of make-up. Most men that said they liked only a "little" or natural ended up picking the medium or a lot of make-up face.

[Els]

For you folk who think the BMI is completely and utterly useless... what measures do you feel are an accurate representation of healthy weight? Hopefully not 'how I look' or 'how my clothes fit' or 'how much attention I get from men'...?

 

The BMI may be flawed, but IMO many (not all) people who claim that it is completely useless, are just saying that because it isn't telling them what they want to hear. Sure, every medical measure is flawed to a degree, but they are mostly useful as a rough guide for the average population as well. If you believe BMI doesn't matter, but you genuinely measure your body fat %, or lipids/triglyceride levels, or take fitness/cardio health tests etc, as a stand-in for BMI, great.

 

But if the sole measure is 'how you/she looks'... no, I really don't think that is a viable alternative. There is a good, solid reason why medical professionals go through the minor bother of doing all those measurements to calculate one's BMI instead of just looking at the person and judging thusly. And if anyone is qualified to judge based on 'looks', it is them, because they have examined literally thousands of naked human bodies before. If they do not trust 'looks', why do we feel we can?

 

I don't think most men are going to be totally hoenst with what they really think of their partner's body.

 

How about what they really think of other women's bodies, which was the discussion that I had in mind when I said that (since the question was 'how men perceive women')? If a man were to lie to his gf about that, surely he would err on the side of saying that all other women are overweight, not that they are not?

Edited August 20, 2012 by Elswyth

[Disenchantedly Yours]

 

How about what they really think of other women's bodies, which was the discussion that I had in mind when I said that (since the question was 'how men perceive women')?

 

The study wasn't done on what men think of other women's bodies, it was about what men thought about their own partner's bodies and how they rated them vs their own. The title of the thread was "How Men Perceive Women", but as you read my orginal OP, it further elaborates on more then just the title.

 

If a man were to lie to his gf about that, surely he would err on the side of saying that all other women are overweight, not that they are not?

 

I am sure the men were being hoenst in the study. Where I think men would lack honesty is in their personal day to day dealings with their partner. The classic question that women ask, "Do I look fat in this.." and the classic response, "Of course not honey." However the study shows that the way men perceived women's bodies was with a much more critical eye then even how they perceived their own. And I don't think men aren't intelligent enough to factor in that women don't have the muscle mass that they may have. I think the men in this study did show a good representation of how men probably perceive female weight even if they aren't shouting it from the roof tops.

[xxoo]

Sure, every medical measure is flawed to a degree, but they are mostly useful as a rough guide for the average population as well. If you believe BMI doesn't matter, but you genuinely measure your body fat %, or lipids/triglyceride levels, or take fitness/cardio health tests etc, as a stand-in for BMI, great.

 

But if the sole measure is 'how you/she looks'... no, I really don't think that is a viable alternative. There is a good, solid reason why medical professionals go through the minor bother of doing all those measurements to calculate one's BMI instead of just looking at the person and judging thusly. And if anyone is qualified to judge based on 'looks', it is them, because they have examined literally thousands of naked human bodies before. If they do not trust 'looks', why do we feel we can?

 

I believe form follows function. How I look when I eat a very healthy diet and get a lot of healthy activity is a healthy weight for me--whatever that looks like.

 

The BMI was never intended to be the authority on healthy weight for any individual. It attempts to make generalizations about groups, but individuals vary in so many ways.

[Els]

I did not attempt to debunk the study, DY. I am fully aware that my very limited subset does not negate the findings of a much larger sample. That also does not mean that the results of a study negate my personal experience. That is the whole reason studies need large sample sizes, because there will always be exceptions, and often many, so those need to be accounted for to draw a general rule for the population. As far as I'm concerned, it doesn't even matter if the study is true, because there will always be people who do not conform to the findings, and so far I have not had trouble finding those.

[Els]

I believe form follows function. How I look when I eat a very healthy diet and get a lot of healthy activity is a healthy weight for me--whatever that looks like.

 

The BMI was never intended to be the authority on healthy weight for any individual. It attempts to make generalizations about groups, but individuals vary in so many ways.

 

I completely agree with this. What baffles me is that some people attempt to replace it with completely aesthetic judgments, for example:

 

'I don't look as good now as I did when I was 90 lbs, so that was my ideal weight and I need to diet more';

'I may have a BMI of 35, but guys love my curves so it's okay';

'I don't care that a girl with a BMI of 15 is underweight, that is what looks hot to me so it's perfectly good';

'She may be right in the middle of the BMI range, but she has a bit of padding around her middle so she is overweight to me', etc.

[xxoo]

'I don't look as good now as I did when I was 90 lbs, so that was my ideal weight and I need to diet more';

'I may have a BMI of 35, but guys love my curves so it's okay';

'I don't care that a girl with a BMI of 15 is underweight, that is what looks hot to me so it's perfectly good';

'She may be right in the middle of the BMI range, but she has a bit of padding around her middle so she is overweight to me', etc.

 

I want a partner who can run a 10K race with me, or hike for hours with me carrying a pack, and also someone I can talk fuel with (food).

 

I'd be surprised if a guy married to a woman like that would call her overweight. I know some women that live like that (even doing half marathons, or tris), and still have belly fat. Some of it is simply genetic.

[Els]

I want a partner who can run a 10K race with me, or hike for hours with me carrying a pack, and also someone I can talk fuel with (food).

 

I'd be surprised if a guy married to a woman like that would call her overweight. I know some women that live like that (even doing half marathons, or tris), and still have belly fat. Some of it is simply genetic.

 

I don't think the men who are married to them consider them 'fat' (I prefer to reserve the term overweight for medical/health descriptions ). People tend to be with people whom they're attracted to, so their partner likely thinks that they look just fine. I do think that some other men, depending on their own subjective bias, would call them 'fat'.

 

I once posted a link to a very avid hiker here, a woman who spends almost every weekend doing all-day or multiple-day hikes (I can't find the blog again, but she looks something like http://cdn.vogue.com.au/media/articles/1/8/1/0/18157-1_n.jpg?201316 ) Some of the posters were all over it, calling her arms and belly 'fat'. That is why I am very skeptical of aesthetic judgment.

[xxoo]

I don't think the men who are married to them consider them 'fat' (I prefer to reserve the term overweight for medical/health descriptions ). People tend to be with people whom they're attracted to, so their partner likely thinks that they look just fine. I do think that some other men, depending on their own subjective bias, would call them 'fat'.

 

I once posted a link to a very avid hiker here, a woman who spends almost every weekend doing all-day or multiple-day hikes (I can't find the blog again, but she looks something like http://cdn.vogue.com.au/media/articles/1/8/1/0/18157-1_n.jpg?201316 ) Some of the posters were all over it, calling her arms and belly 'fat'. That is why I am very skeptical of aesthetic judgment.

 

I said husbands because that was part of the study. When, in the study, the husbands said their wives were "overweight", while the BMI said "healthy weight", I wonder if that is because the husbands know that the wife is actually quite sedentary, and quite fatty for that weight? If their wives were super active, I wonder if the results would have been different.

 

The same is true for my H. BMI says he's "overweight", and he does have some abdominal fat, but he is incredibly fit and active and strong. If he were the same weight, but sedentary and weak, I might be more likely to say he is "overweight".

 

I have many active friends, and we all have different builds. Some of them look a lot like the woman in your link, but they can finish a tri! Maybe not the fastest time, but they can do it.

[Lonely Ronin]

personally, I think a big part of the issue is that society wants to dumb down the concept of attractiveness. A lot of people automatically assume healthy/fit/athletic has a direct correlation to how attractive the opposite sex finds you. Anyone that's been around the block a few times can tell you that while parallels exist, it's not 1 to 1. Additionally, I think the general public has no grasp on what healthy really means.

[EasyHeart]

For you folk who think the BMI is completely and utterly useless... what measures do you feel are an accurate representation of healthy weight? Hopefully not 'how I look' or 'how my clothes fit' or 'how much attention I get from men'...?

Percentage body fat (if accurately measured) is probably the most useful measure.

 

BMI is nothing more than a height/weight chart.

[FitChick]

The only people who think BMI is the gold standard are overweight.

[kaylan]

personally, I think a big part of the issue is that society wants to dumb down the concept of attractiveness. A lot of people automatically assume healthy/fit/athletic has a direct correlation to how attractive the opposite sex finds you. Anyone that's been around the block a few times can tell you that while parallels exist, it's not 1 to 1. Additionally, I think the general public has no grasp on what healthy really means.

Explain why people are more attracted and drawn to the fit/athletic body type then. This has all been studied, and there are just certain measurements that men and women find more attractive than others. Fact of the matter is that you find those sexy measurements more so in the healthy/fit/athletic crowd than anywhere else.

Edited August 20, 2012 by kaylan

[phineas]

Percentage body fat (if accurately measured) is probably the most useful measure.

 

BMI is nothing more than a height/weight chart.

 

The only people who think BMI is the gold standard are overweight.

 

Yeah, at my best shape wearing size 30 jeans I was still considered overweight according to the BMI charts.

You could see the tie-ins on my ribs. LOL!

 

I suppose it works for the people who havn't increased their muscle mass past the norm from lifting weights but then I don't see how their all not considered overweight.

[thatone]

I found this article interesting because of the lengthy discussions we have on LS about women's bodies.

 

Apparently, men perceive their own weight as less than it is while they perceive women's weight more than it is. Men also perceive their partner's weight inaccurately and will even think women that are normal or under-weight as being over weight.

 

Interesting stuff and something to think about.

 

men see women the same way women see men.

 

"can i see myself having sex with this person?"

 

if yes proceed, if no reject and move on.

 

we are the same species after all.

[Lonely Ronin]

Explain why people are more attracted and drawn to the fit/athletic body type then. This has all been studied, and there are just certain measurements that men and women find more attractive than others. Fact of the matter is that you find those sexy measurements more so in the healthy/fit/athletic crowd than anywhere else.

 

I should probably give a little bit of my background, in high school & college I was a national level runner. so I spent a good teal of time reading/learning about and discussing health and fitness etc.

 

Lets define some stuff first

Healthy - healthy really just means your blood pressure, cholesterol, body fat percentage and everything else under the sun your doctor cares about is within acceptable tolerances.

 

fit -This is a really grey area, for example in the US. they used to test children for fitness like this.

https://www.presidentschallenge.org/challenge/physical/benchmarks.shtml

I'm pretty sure tests like this exist for adults as well.

 

whats worth noticing, is you can be healthy and not fit, and you can be fit and not healthy, they are not inclusive.

 

Athletic is above fit as far as I'm concerned, and frankly it's a label a lot of people can't actually live up to. For example going to the gym and lifting 3 days a week doesn't automatically make you athletic. I see this all the time at the gym, guys that are ripped, but can't do 10 minutes on the treadmill without having an aneurysm. I see similar things from women to, they spend hours on the treadmill/elliptical, but can't do a single pull up.

 

 

Yes, certain physical dimensions are considered more appealing based on evolution. however, the tests everyone always talk about where snap shot tests, as in a person was shown a photo for a few seconds and asked to rate physical attractiveness based on what they could discern in a few seconds. The test showed two things, based on guy decisions. Women wanted strong powerful looking men, and men wanted women who looked like they would be good at bearing children.

 

what the study/test didn't discuss was that when all that mattered, you didn't have many weak/fat people, because they didn't live that long. everyone was fit & athletic back then, if you weren't you normally didn't live very long. IMO what a lot of people consider attractive/fit/athletic today, was just plain normal for large parts of human history.

[Els]

I said husbands because that was part of the study. When, in the study, the husbands said their wives were "overweight", while the BMI said "healthy weight", I wonder if that is because the husbands know that the wife is actually quite sedentary, and quite fatty for that weight? If their wives were super active, I wonder if the results would have been different.

 

It may be different for some, but not for others. I don't think everyone prioritizes health and/or fitness as much as others, and I think a few people are slightly ignorant about what health actually is. Plenty of women that are widely considered sexy are actually extremely unhealthy. Their diets lack nutrition, they smoke and drink excessively, pop pills to achieve their weight, etc. Equally so, plenty of men who look sexy and muscular are actually taking hormones and steroids to achieve that - extremely unhealthy.

 

Percentage body fat (if accurately measured) is probably the most useful measure.

 

Yes, as I mentioned in the paragraph immediately after the one you quoted. Percentage body fat is definitely a better measure than BMI, but BMI is still leaps and bounds above 'how you look like', which seems to be a favourite measure around here. Saying "BMI is often inaccurate, so I'll just judge my own weight/others' weight based on how I/they look like or fit into clothes" is like saying, 'Chemotherapy doesn't always work for cancer, so I'll just get my village witch doctor to come around with his juju and chant at me'.

 

The only people who think BMI is the gold standard are overweight.

 

You would be surprised how many people use the 'BMI is bunk' statement to justify being overweight.

Edited August 21, 2012 by Elswyth

[Disenchantedly Yours]

I did not attempt to debunk the study, DY. I am fully aware that my very limited subset does not negate the findings of a much larger sample. That also does not mean that the results of a study negate my personal experience. That is the whole reason studies need large sample sizes, because there will always be exceptions, and often many, so those need to be accounted for to draw a general rule for the population. As far as I'm concerned, it doesn't even matter if the study is true, because there will always be people who do not conform to the findings, and so far I have not had trouble finding those.

 

I agree with you ironically enough. This study certainly doesn't negate your personal experiences. And I agree that there are people who will always buck the trend.