Lina375 Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 My fiance and I have been engaged for a year and a half. We are in our late 40's and this would be the 2nd marriage for both of us. Our sex life is and always has been reasonably active during the course of our 7 year relationship. We average around twice a week, with an occasional 3x week, and an occasional once a week. I dont think we have gone more than a week without sex ever. What bothers me is that if there an occasion where I just don't want to have sex..maybe I am unusually tired..not feeling well , etc..he gets very angry and acts like all I do is reject him. The truth is I don't reject him very much...just now and then. HIs reaction just seems extreme to me and he has gone on major rants over this. As a result it is starting to ruin the way I feel about making love with him at all. I feel he is turning what should be a loving and mutual thing into a stressor. Recently I had an abnormal mammogram and had to have a biopsy. For 4 weeks I had to wait for my biopsy and I had some trouble sleeping as a result. My results came back benign and I was so relieved and that night I just wanted to sleep as I felt so sleep deprived. Of course had his anger to deal with. I am having 2nd thoughts about marrying this man. I know it will be impossible for me never to say No ever....and I think he is carrying the rejection thing way too far. I'm tired of the anger over it. We have other issues like any couple but this one is becoming the deal breaker for me. It ruins sex for me knowing it comes with an anger component.
Silly_Girl Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 Have you tried talking to him? Really talking? Picking a calm moment and explaining how difficult you find his anger? Have you ascertained WHY he is angry? Does rejection make him think you don't desire him? Can you reassure him? I would hate to not be able to say No if I felt like it.
soulm8 Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Be thankful he's showing you his true colours before marriage. I divorced my husband because I ended up feeling like his sex slave... sex entitlement is definitely a deal breaker to me. A healthy sex life just isn't good enough for some people... they need to own you. No thanks. In my books, a man respects his woman and her body. For him to be angry with you (especially that night) proves that he doesn't respect you - he only wants his orgasm. Sad.
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