Imajerk17 Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 What is your experience with them? From your experience, do they usually turn out to be "all that" or do they fade away as quickly as they came on. Open-ended question. I'm especially interested in guys who have had a woman come on really strong to them. Link to post Share on other sites
GirlontheLam Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 Hmm I am wondering this too. Only because I met someone recently and I am worried that I am coming on a little strong. But there also seemed to be something there..... Link to post Share on other sites
Lamplight Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 Men who come on too strong are just players. I been on a couple of dates that felt like a job interview and within 30/45 minutes, they are in my face trying to kiss me using the excuse "let's see if we have chemistry". That's when I took off out the door. Told them both that I had to go to bathroom and took off. Never spoke to either of them after that. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 What is your experience with them? From your experience, do they usually turn out to be "all that" or do they fade away as quickly as they came on. Open-ended question. I'm especially interested in guys who have had a woman come on really strong to them. I have honestly been the instigator as a woman its hard to instigate fear fo rejection is difficult to overcome but as in my life if i really want soemthing i know it in my heart.I normally discuss it with someone else first.....one time i discussed it with a close friend of the person i was interested in and he said to me dont go out with him i like your ass.....needless to say i thanked him for his advice and asked the guy i liked directly after that.I cant stop myself because i know that soemtimes as far as relationships go people find it hard to read me and if i feel a connection i do open up.....i do feel agressive though liek pushy....and that si what i struggle the most with......I am not normally wrong about mutual interest.....until lately....but luckily he was a true gentleman huge heart and I am happy and proud to be able to get to know him as a friend...and yes i still have feelings for him which isnt so easy.....deb Link to post Share on other sites
bobsmith76 Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 I'm someone who comes on strong and remains persistent for at least 5 months. I just can't resist not coming on strong. I'm enthusiastic and excited and I want to show my real feelings. It really upsets me that this coming on strong scares women away because my intentions are good and they routinely misunderstand them. I'm perfectly sincere in my feelings to them yet they get scared away merely because my emotions strong. Then they wine about how their men are so unemotional. It's like you can't win, if you come on strong, they get scared away, if you're dull and stoic they get depressed. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 I'm someone who comes on strong and remains persistent for at least 5 months. I just can't resist not coming on strong. I'm enthusiastic and excited and I want to show my real feelings. It really upsets me that this coming on strong scares women away because my intentions are good and they routinely misunderstand them. I'm perfectly sincere in my feelings to them yet they get scared away merely because my emotions strong. Then they wine about how their men are so unemotional. It's like you can't win, if you come on strong, they get scared away, if you're dull and stoic they get depressed. I would rather have a man come on to me than me have to do it so i would appreciate the effort that you made so not all women whine......there are many like me out there who appreciate a man who pursues regardless of rejection..i go agaisnt the natural order and its hard..and once I have asked out of respect i would not ask again.....to tell the truth i have only been turned down once in my life....i am still alive though so lol thats good it was a learning experience for me..i guess i needed to learn something.......deb Link to post Share on other sites
bobsmith76 Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 .there are many like me out there who appreciate a man who pursues regardless of rejection.. good. I like that. Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 What is your experience with them? From your experience, do they usually turn out to be "all that" or do they fade away as quickly as they came on. Open-ended question. I'm especially interested in guys who have had a woman come on really strong to them. From what I understand, the faster/stronger things move in the beginning, the faster it burns out. My only experience of a girl coming on super strong is a girl I'm seeing now. I really can't comment on how things will turn out, but we saw each other every other day and texted in between for the first week. Now we just kind of need a week of personal space before the next time we see each other. The times where I've come on too strong, I think I've scared away some good quality women. However I feel like the times where I've come off aloof, the girls have also lost interest. You just need to find a happy medium I feel. Still though, I prefer a woman who has 90% + interest level. As the old saying goes, people know within the first minute whether or not they are attracted to someone when they meet. With that said I'm not interested in dating someone who feels luke warm/mediocre about me. If I know a woman feels that way about me on the first date, I likely won't bother asking her for a second. Unless she changes my mind by chasing/contacting me. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 Honestly? The stronger I come on, the less interested I am in a guy. I only feel the fear of rejection when I am very interested and am MUCH more cautious. When I am not that interested, it's easy to let go and because slight rejections don't affect me, take them with good humor and keep being persistent in a jokey/flirty way. But I am pretty weird :/ 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 The stronger they come on, the more they are overcompensating for something else in my opinion. This is true...like lack of genuine interest in my case Link to post Share on other sites
GirlontheLam Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 This is true...like lack of genuine interest in my case Interesting! You can really second guess yourself with this stuff! It is always hard to know what is "too." Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 The stronger they come on, the more they are overcompensating for something else in my opinion. Funny that I found this thread... I just had a 2nd date with a guy yesterday and he seems to be on a jet to a relationship. I mean it's the SECOND date and we did dinner and a movie. He kept holding my hand, putting his hand on my thigh, and I knew he was going to try a kiss at the end of the night. He kept calling me babe, baby... and although he seems like a nice guy, he just seems TOO nice? For example, I merely shifted in my seat during the movie and he was like, "Are you OK?!" or when I made a comment about how long my work week was going to be he was like, "Awww... Oh no babe!" It just seemed like he was trying way too hard, coming on way too strong, and it didn't feel natural or genuine to be acting like a bf/gf situation after only meeting him once prior, and for only 4 hours. To me it felt like he's looking for a relationship, and doesn't necessarily care about who it's with. Honestly, what does he know about me after two dates? I'm attractive? Funny? Nice? I don't think that's enough to judge as to whether you'd be in a serious commitment with someone. He also made some statements which popped up some red flags for me--- he asked whether or not I'd move to a different location (one with more space to have a yard, pool, etc) and I was like "Oh I'm not sure, I'm happy with where I am now..." (apartment)... and he's like "Well I mean when you settle down..." As if he was gauging if I'd want to settle down soon? After the 2nd date? Or how he keeps referring to things as "ours" or "we have to do this, or that" after a 2nd date? As I said, he did try to kiss me and it was extremely awkward... I'm about being friends with someone for a while, but he just came at me and what was I going to do? Push him away? So it was like a peck but it wasn't good at all. It pretty much cemented the fact that I didn't want to go on a third date with this guy. I didn't know whether to be scared of him, or just chalk it up to him being a "too nice" guy?? Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 What is your experience with them? From your experience, do they usually turn out to be "all that" or do they fade away as quickly as they came on. Open-ended question. I'm especially interested in guys who have had a woman come on really strong to them. Men: For a guy to come on strong, usually, he's a player who only wants to get laid. Women: For a woman to come on strong, usually, she's desperate and clingy. Link to post Share on other sites
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