Women, how often do men try to kiss you during or at the end of your first date?

[mesmerized]

And men, how often do you try to kiss a girl or be physical with her on a first date?

[rocketman122]

Never had a bad date. I dont kiss those girls I dont want to have a 2nd date with. but all those others yes. Always kiss them and they me. had a great date with the one im dating now. we were kissing within 5 minutes of her sitting down at the table. lasted 5 hours. but never got shot down trying.

[Greznog]

And men, how often do you try to kiss a girl or be physical with her on a first date?

 

Always. As much as women whine about men moving too fast the truth is moving slightly too slow means you're going to be a friend of hers.

[RedRobin]

Men almost always go in for a kiss ASAP.

 

The ones who try on the first date don' t get a second date with me.

 

Experience has taught me they are the ones pushing for sex ASAP as well.

 

Not relationship material.

[mesmerized]

It all depends on the chemistry of the first date, have to keep in tune with her body language. I am man enough to say that I went in for the kiss not to long ago and was shot down like an Iraqi Scud Missle. Not a good feeling to be rejected like that. Thing is, the date went well and she even held my hand.

 

I think if you want a kiss you have build up to it. You can't for example sit across the table from her for a couple of hours talking about politics and then expect to make out with her when saying goodbye. Unless she is very drunk, it wouldn't feel natural. It would feel forced and awkward. Too many guys make this mistake.

[ThaWholigan]

Of the very few dates I've had, I moved in for the kiss once on the first date, and was shot down. Never did it again after that, but then I got better at reading body language and knowing when to do it.

 

I found that when girls want to kiss you, they look into your eyes and then your lips, then back and forth between the two. I would say that depending on the amount of anticipation and build-up of attraction on the first date, a kiss on the first date is ideal for continuing the date.

 

If it's a slower pace, or you're used to/expect something intimate without too much sexual contact then probably not the 1st date.

[soccerrprp]

If it's clear that the date has been going well, then every time. Are talking about kissing, in general, or french kissing (tongue)? Anyway, I always try for a kiss on the lips, with or w/o tongue (I take the lady's lead as to whether it will involve tongue or not).

[ThaWholigan]

More dissent on the first date kiss. Hmmmm

RedRobin is particularly staunch against the first date kiss. She advocates a much more slower and even-keeled road to intimacy and sex. I can't say I blame her, nor do I disagree with it. It's not necessarily my way, but I can appreciate it and should I encounter a girl I really like who is like this, I will certainly tailor my approach accordingly.

[snug.bunny]

Maybe like once or twice? I've always been "asked" first.

[rocketman122]

I think if you want a kiss you have build up to it. You can't for example sit across the table from her for a couple of hours talking about politics and then expect to make out with her when saying goodbye. Unless she is very drunk, it wouldn't feel natural. It would feel forced and awkward. Too many guys make this mistake.

 

absolutely! first every date I go to, I bring a rose and that right away gives me points with the "aw, how romantic" also, I never sit across from her. never. always either next to her on a bench/sofa or 90º to her so I can flirt. I make her laugh, I lean in, I let her smell me, she touches my arm (and stares at my breasteses), I caress her back/neck or play with her hair. always buidling up sexual tension and making her laugh. by the end, I made her melt and she's waiting for it. never been shot down.

[RedRobin]

What if I didn't kiss you on the first date but on the second I gently squeezed your butt?

 

That depends... someone like me might dust off the judo she learned in college on your *ss if you tried to get too cute...

[mesmerized]

RedRobin is particularly staunch against the first date kiss. She advocates a much more slower and even-keeled road to intimacy and sex. I can't say I blame her, nor do I disagree with it. It's not necessarily my way, but I can appreciate it and should I encounter a girl I really like who is like this, I will certainly tailor my approach accordingly.

 

I think she expects a bit too much. Men don't always make move fast because they're only after sex with you. Some men are told they have or and they get friend-zoned or they just really like you. She expects absolute perfection and that is not going to work out well for her.

[carhill]

And men, how often do you try to kiss a girl or be physical with her on a first date?

Historically, never, other than a firm and warm hug. I've proactively generally kissed a woman on the third date, presuming she's an otherwise stranger/unknown person prior to dating.

 

Has this ruled out some promising potentials? Yes, in a couple of cases I know this for a fact. However, it is my relationship and romantic style so I'm true to it.

[Lonely Ronin]

I think she expects a bit too much. Men don't always make move fast because they're only after sex with you. Some men are told they have or and they get friend-zoned or they just really like you. She expects absolute perfection and that is not going to work out well for her.

 

Imo, she demands a Victorian style dating environment, and well that's going to be pretty damn hard to find.

[RedRobin]

absolutely! first every date I go to, I bring a rose and that right away gives me points with the "aw, how romantic" also, I never sit across from her. never. always either next to her on a bench/sofa or 90º to her so I can flirt. I make her laugh, I lean in, I let her smell me, she touches my arm (and stares at my breasteses), I caress her back/neck or play with her hair. always buidling up sexual tension and making her laugh. by the end, I made her melt and she's waiting for it. never been shot down.

 

I assume you probably don' t go on dates with women who aren' t engaging in a little sex talk/ flirting in advance of the date... or you date non strangers.

 

I would not be as intimate as you are describing on a first date with a stranger..

[ThaWholigan]

I think she expects a bit too much. Men don't always make move fast because they're only after sex with you. Some men are told they have or and they get friend-zoned or they just really like you. She expects absolute perfection and that is not going to work out well for her.

 

I understand this, and I did actually point out to her that a lot of women will actually be turned off if the man decides to slow down the making of moves. I think it's a thin line between a slow seduction and a lack of making moves. I think it's particular to certain women obviously, and the way I like to do things is very versatile so it does fit into that.

 

Me myself, I can do the slow dance, but I prefer the direct approach myself . I just don't think there's anything particularly wrong with either approach, whatever works for the individual and their attraction/dating style.

[RedRobin]

Oops! Double post...

Edited August 19, 2012 by RedRobin

[ThaWholigan]

I don't see you as a freak with your rules, I see you having standards. If a guy cannot wait or abide by your rules, then he really isnt worth the time.

 

I read in a thread not to long ago women discussing that if a guy did not make a move in the first or second date then he is simply not interested. To me it makes me feel like I am damned if I do damned if i dont. If that makes sense.

A conundrum I understand all too well my friend.

 

I took solace in learning the ability to read women and social/dating scenarios well enough to distinguish when to move and when not to. Some guys would equate that to "jumping through hoops to get her", but I just see it as a seduction dance, and dancing involves two, so one has to read each others movements and go accordingly in rhythm, pace etc.

 

Red Robin was better at describing it to be honest

[carhill]

OP, we all know what 'kissing' is, in general, but 'physical' could be interpreted many ways. For example, when I spoke of giving a woman I'm attracted to a firm and warm hug, this could be interpreted as physical, since I'm making proactive physical contact. Further, with regards to kissing, there are many levels of that, from a kiss on the cheek to closed mouth, to open mouth to French, etc, etc.

 

Generally, historically, if I'm attracted to a woman, she'll know in three different ways: one, I've asked her on a date. Two, my body language will focus on her and be open and inviting. Three, I will physically embrace her in a polite yet non-'friendly' manner, different from how I embrace a friend, both with content and length of embrace. If this happens on the first date, how would that match up with your perspective offered for discussion?

[Emilia]

And men, how often do you try to kiss a girl or be physical with her on a first date?

 

There was only 1 guy that didn't try to kiss me on a first date and I met him through OLD. None of my other dates were strangers therefore we knew we wanted to escalate the chemistry physically. That's why we dated in the first place, otherwise would have remained mates.

[RedRobin]

I understand this, and I did actually point out to her that a lot of women will actually be turned off if the man decides to slow down the making of moves. I think it's a thin line between a slow seduction and a lack of making moves. I think it's particular to certain women obviously, and the way I like to do things is very versatile so it does fit into that.

 

Me myself, I can do the slow dance, but I prefer the direct approach myself . I just don't think there's anything particularly wrong with either approach, whatever works for the individual and their attraction/dating style.

 

I'm not a let' s f and see where it goes kind of person....which seems to be more the norm these days...

 

It is nothing against the guy necessarily.. i just have learned that these guys are wanting to ramp up pretty quick and that is boring to me. So I do us both a favor and cut it off. I do sometimes offer friendship but funny enough... they almost always reject that.

 

 

Which just further shows me they weren' t really interested in getting to know me. Bullet dodged.

[Lonely Ronin]

And about the victorian comment from another poster... yea I realize that refusing to have sex in three dates or under and expecting the guy to demonstrate some discretion must make me a freak to some... but oh well. My life is ridiculously drama free

 

Did I say anything about sex no, you did... My comment about Victorian dating is in direct response to this comment.

 

Men almost always go in for a kiss ASAP.

 

The ones who try on the first date don' t get a second date with me.

 

Hypothetical,

You (RedRobin) go on a date with a guy, and after a few hours of talking, laughing, and some mild mutual flirting (assumed) he takes you home. He walks you to your door says he really enjoyed spending time with you, and leans in and gives you a kiss on the cheek or a closed peck on the lips. You automatically right him off as only wanting sex?

[soccerrprp]

If it's clear that the date has been going well, then every time. Are talking about kissing, in general, or french kissing (tongue)? Anyway, I always try for a kiss on the lips, with or w/o tongue (I take the lady's lead as to whether it will involve tongue or not).

 

Just to add to my earlier post, I do always ask on the first date before doing so.

[ThaWholigan]

Being candid about my dating experiencees, sometimes I am off at reading body language, etc. So to me maybe due to my insecurities, kissing a woman on the first date solidifies there is an attraction. I would rather that happen then go home and get the threaded friendzone text.

I hear that, I struggled horribly before at reading anyone's body language (autism).

 

I was only ever friendzoned once, and to be honest, I didn't really care that much in the end. I still get it wrong occasionally, but I've become quite good at picking up things now.

[RedRobin]

Did I say anything about sex no, you did... My comment about Victorian dating is in direct response to this comment.

 

 

 

Hypothetical,

You (RedRobin) go on a date with a guy, and after a few hours of talking, laughing, and some mild mutual flirting (assumed) he takes you home. He walks you to your door says he really enjoyed spending time with you, and leans in and gives you a kiss on the cheek or a closed peck on the lips. You automatically right him off as only wanting sex?

 

If he were a stranger... he would not be in front of my house or walking me to the door.

 

Tbh...I'd much prefer a warm hug. It shows affection without pressure.. and gives me a sense of 'him'... also gives both of us a little space to process the date and give each other time to figure out how we feel before proceeding.