HeartStompedOn Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 (edited) Ok, I've known my ex since I was 15. I'm 20, will be 21 Thursday. She's 22. We were first loves. Did everyhting together, studied, cried, and took up for one another. Seen her today for the first time in almost 2 months. She wasn't happy to see me at all. As a matter of fact, she kept driving and was speeding when I just wanted to talk to her, almost causing wrecks. She finally stopped and we talked and she told me that she doesn't have a bf but there is a guy making a move on her and he is a "awesome person." It hurt. She told me she doesn't want me anymore. She wouldn't even get out the car to give me a hug or kiss. Told me our relationship was hell for the majority of it. I did everything for her though as best I could by me being a teenager for most of it. I admit, I was stupid. I was abusive sometimes and like I said in my other posts, I'm not that way anymore. I have worked on it for months, read books and everything so please leave the negative comments where they are. The fact that I understood my problem and fixed it and STILL working to fix everything about me that is toxic should mean something at least when you have some people who won't admit to their problem. She made it act like we always fought, which was a lie. But she told me she never wants me again. It hurt, I cried and begged for another opportunity, but she denied it. She told me she didn't think it was meant for us to be together. It hurts because she acts like I'm such a terrible perosn when I really tried to make her happy. She tells me I'm drama and says she's so much happier without me. Says everyday she wakes up with a smile. A lot of the unhappiness came towards the back end of our relationship. In the beginning it was bliss like with this guy making a move on her. BTW we have been split for 9 months but as soon as I got tired of the games, which resulted in almost 2 months of NC. But during this time, I thought maybe she would realize we were right and come back (that's what the Google says) but guess what, she didn't! Stupidly, I believed all the "relationship gurus" and lost a really good girl. Like I told her, I was very immature and I want a second chance but she refuses. I guess this new guy has really done some great things. She wouldn't even look at me half the time. I'd lean over for a hug and she'd lean the other way. I really love her and the thought of her having sex with someone else is killing me. I really want to die. Is it my fault that I was young and made stupid mistakes? Is it my fault that I didn't know what real love was because I had never had a relationship before her like this? Is it my fault that I seen things growing up that made me act like I did even though I always told myself I wouldn't!? I want my best friend back! She won't text or call me. She hates me. She's going to give all of my love away. I feel like dying. The fact that I believe in God is probably what is keeping me from offing myself. I feel ugly and feel like I will never find another girl who is as nice looking with a good head on her shoulders and will stick by me. She does have an attitude though, which is what somewhat caused us to clash sometimes. I feel like I'm cursed! I've never been good with girls. Was always too shy and still is. And now, my self esteem is lower than ever! Please Help! I need advice. Edited August 19, 2012 by HeartStompedOn
oracle Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 Read my other post - [COLOR=#660000]Realistic tips for surviving the end of your relationship[/COLOR] You probably won't like all of what I have to say but hopefully some of it will get thru to you. Obviously she's done with you.. and ulitmately you reap what you sow. Learn from this and become stable and happy on your own before you give the serious relationship ride another go. Its gonna feel like crap for awhile, but if you have been seperated for 9 months you should be more or less used to feeling like crap by now. 1
Canadian731 Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 LET GO, there is no way of getting her back and you have to realize that, at this point you have been so needy and insecure you have pushed her into that other guys arms. You seriously need a reality check bro because no woman wants a sorry excuse for a man who is hung up on something that is never going to happen. You haven't realized yet that it is in fact, OVER. go cry your eyes out, scream into a pillow or something but you need to properly start the grieving process and stop trying to talk to this chick.
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