sleeplessintexas Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 My boyfriend is the sweetest, kindest, most amazing man in the world. And I'm a very realistic person. This said, I broke things off with him back in April because I found messages from some kind of sexual relationship he had online with this girl. I decided to let it go because there were so many reasons to be with him and I love him very much. The mistake I made was that I read a loooot of the messages between him and this online chick when I found them and I can't get them out of my memory. We live about three hours away from eachother now and don't get to see eachother very often. He just brought up that he would like to be able to share intimacy when we're away from eachother via texting, photos, phone. Which is fine, there shouldn't be a problem with that. But there is, because I can't get those kind of interactions that he had with someone else out of my head. Seeing the things that he talked about with her that I never knew he was interested in, seeing him a way that he never was with me. It's made me very insecure and I don't have confidence in my ability to please him anymore. I can't help but associate that kind of interaction with what happened before. Like just doing that would make me more afraid of him doing it with someone else because it's so easy. What should I do? Bring up stuff we promised to leave in the past and talk to him about it or just try to get past it on my own? And how do I do that? Any advice would be very much appreciated, thank you.
todreaminblue Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 My boyfriend is the sweetest, kindest, most amazing man in the world. And I'm a very realistic person. This said, I broke things off with him back in April because I found messages from some kind of sexual relationship he had online with this girl. I decided to let it go because there were so many reasons to be with him and I love him very much. The mistake I made was that I read a loooot of the messages between him and this online chick when I found them and I can't get them out of my memory. We live about three hours away from eachother now and don't get to see each other very often. He just brought up that he would like to be able to share intimacy when we're away from eachother via texting, photos, phone. Which is fine, there shouldn't be a problem with that. But there is, because I can't get those kind of interactions that he had with someone else out of my head. Seeing the things that he talked about with her that I never knew he was interested in, seeing him a way that he never was with me. It's made me very insecure and I don't have confidence in my ability to please him anymore. I can't help but associate that kind of interaction with what happened before. Like just doing that would make me more afraid of him doing it with someone else because it's so easy. What should I do? Bring up stuff we promised to leave in the past and talk to him about it or just try to get past it on my own? And how do I do that? Any advice would be very much appreciated, thank you. I feel for you I understand that it must be difficult for you to forget.I think you should determine whether you are a woman who gives someone a chance, to prove that your relationship doesnt have to be based on a past relationship, that relationship then, will always have that possibility of being a long lasting relationship.Sexual relationships dont last basically there is mor eto humanity than physicality.Sounds like you have something more than that.As far as pleasing someone goes dotn ever feel not confident if that boyfriend is wanting a long distance relationship with you there is a deeper connection that will always be a more fulfilling relationship so therefore more pleasing in and out of bed....... which honestly only a small amount of time si spent in that activity most of the time its about communication common goals and values beliefs......sex is something to share to strengthen those core and vital ingredients to make that relationship enduring..online sexual conversations are not real or heart felt or even a pointer to someones likes or dislikes..the internet is a huge buffer to the real person...my opinion only.....and my advice ....give it a go....be confident in who you are and that you deserve to be happy....you will have success.....best of luck with you and yours...deb
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