Author BenH1000 Posted August 20, 2012 Author Posted August 20, 2012 OP, Most dating sites (OKCupid included) have rather sophisticated 'matching' criteria and algorithms designed to optimize their business model... which is to make the most money out of you. If Mr/Ms online dater is getting blocked by their dates (happens when you piss people off, lie, or are rude), your 'rating' will diminish and you won't be popping up as an option to the ones who are more popular... So don't lie in your dating pursuits. It has unexpected consequences... even in the 'anonymous' world of OLD... not to mention what I always say... Not everything is covered by condoms and insurance... Interesting, yeah, I try to stay as honest as possible online, without giving away too much information about myself! Good advice, thanks.
It's Just Me Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 I didn't like multi-dating (tried it for a couple of weeks), because I found that it diluted my ability to concentrate on one person - I hated that feeling. I also found myself forgetting or mixing up certain details about each guy, which was a bit embarrassing. Me: So, what is it that you enjoy about being in real estate? Him: Um, I'm an engineer. Told you about that last week, remember? Me: Look! A squirrel! I almost needed something like a war room at home, complete with whiteboards, just to keep track of everything - or a notebook of some sort. But the very thought of that just seemed a little ridiculous to me. I stopped multi-dating, and everything was fine.
madjac74 Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Me: So, what is it that you enjoy about being in real estate? Him: Um, I'm an engineer. Told you about that last week, remember? Me: Look! A squirrel! . Haha that just sounds fun to me and makes me miss the thrill of multi-dating! I always just claimed that I had short term memory. I recently got a text from an unknown number who I obviously knew somehow and had to deduce who it was. They never got mad no matter how wrong I was
Author BenH1000 Posted August 20, 2012 Author Posted August 20, 2012 I didn't like multi-dating (tried it for a couple of weeks), because I found that it diluted my ability to concentrate on one person - I hated that feeling. I also found myself forgetting or mixing up certain details about each guy, which was a bit embarrassing. Me: So, what is it that you enjoy about being in real estate? Him: Um, I'm an engineer. Told you about that last week, remember? Me: Look! A squirrel! I almost needed something like a war room at home, complete with whiteboards, just to keep track of everything - or a notebook of some sort. But the very thought of that just seemed a little ridiculous to me. I stopped multi-dating, and everything was fine. Haha, yeah, just went through that (and I haven't even started the multi-date process yet!) My date was talking about this neck pain that she was having, and I remember talking about it on the first date. I said, "so what happened again? you fell?" And she said, "No, I had a cyst removed." Needless to say, I felt bad, but told her it was my bad short term memory (which is true) and she laughed. I really like the chart/whiteboard idea, silly as it may seem!
oldshirt Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Well, buck, hate to break it to you, but yeah, it is real life and I am in fact meeting these women. Met the first one last week (haven't met others yet because I've been really busy with this summer class that ends this week), and 2nd date we hit 3rd base when I crashed at her place. I don't say this to stroke my ego, I say it to deflate yours. I have another date lined up for next Friday with a different chick and then like 2 or 3 with other women the following week. I can send you personal updates on how each of them goes if you want. One poster suggested to keep a chart. PM me your address and I'll send you a copy. They ain't bots, dude. These are real women, and they're attractive, and they're reaching out to ME, wanting to meet. So I hate to be the bearer of bad news but yeah, this **** is happening and I'd appreciate some constructive recommendations instead of you trying to make this all seem like some sort of fake, overblown scenario. I've gotten six intro messages this weekend alone from girls (two weren't great, other four are pretty hot). Away put your weapons I mean you no harm. If you are actually getting out and meeting people in real life then that's over half the battle. From there anything is possible. If you are going out and getting to know people then you can pretty much take it from there. If someone is catching your attention enough that you want to concentrate on her for awhile that is fine. If on the other hand you are enjoying meeting new people and just having fun without any committments or expectations then that is awesome and you shouldn't let any naysayers tell you it's wrong or improper. As I said in my other post in countless ways it is a GOOD thing as long as you aren't misleading or manipulating anyone.
RedRobin Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Interesting, yeah, I try to stay as honest as possible online, without giving away too much information about myself! Good advice, thanks. ... and this is why it is important that you tell your dates you are dating others. Because people who are looking for true intimacy aren't interested in the 'as honest as possible'... and the 'without giving too much information about yourself'. You will come across as fake and dishonest. Along with the inconsistencies and obvious half-truths... any woman with half a brain can figure you out in 2-3 weeks tops. That's the most time you've got with most smart women without fessing up. The ones who are desperate, naive, or don't care... yea, you can string them along indefinately. There will always be some reason in their brain why your stories don't add up... and they are afraid to ask too many questions.
joystickd Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 ... and this is why it is important that you tell your dates you are dating others. Because people who are looking for true intimacy aren't interested in the 'as honest as possible'... and the 'without giving too much information about yourself'. You will come across as fake and dishonest. Along with the inconsistencies and obvious half-truths... any woman with half a brain can figure you out in 2-3 weeks tops. That's the most time you've got with most smart women without fessing up. The ones who are desperate, naive, or don't care... yea, you can string them along indefinately. There will always be some reason in their brain why your stories don't add up... and they are afraid to ask too many questions. Even the smart ones get taken for a ride. Remember women are guided by emotions so a man can hit the right triggers and you will forget all the inconsistencies and half-truths. It's easy to talk about what you will or won't do or accept but it's another to actually do it when the situation comes up. We all can talk a good talk but the thing is can you walk a good walk. He should do what he feels and as a man it is easier to lie to women to achieve dating/relationship goals but the end result can be disastrous. Honesty is the best policy. The funny thing is OLD women have a certain level of desperation and the men too. I would rather he go out and meet women than use OLD because its easier for him to shine going out than using OLD.
RedRobin Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Even the smart ones get taken for a ride. Remember women are guided by emotions so a man can hit the right triggers and you will forget all the inconsistencies and half-truths. It's easy to talk about what you will or won't do or accept but it's another to actually do it when the situation comes up. We all can talk a good talk but the thing is can you walk a good walk. Sorry, I just have to laugh. Behold the Mighty Power of the Player!!! (Jaws music playing in the background). It really isn't that hard to avoid them. Push them past the 4-5th date. Takes care of 90% of them. Seriously. ... and don't forget the inconsistencies and half-truths. I did say SMART women, you know... He should do what he feels and as a man it is easier to lie to women to achieve dating/relationship goals but the end result can be disastrous. Honesty is the best policy. The funny thing is OLD women have a certain level of desperation and the men too. I would rather he go out and meet women than use OLD because its easier for him to shine going out than using OLD. I agree with you there. These days it is alot easier to find women who aren't looking for anything serious or are just casual. No need to lie at all.
joystickd Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Sorry, I just have to laugh. Behold the Mighty Power of the Player!!! (Jaws music playing in the background). It really isn't that hard to avoid them. Push them past the 4-5th date. Takes care of 90% of them. Seriously. ... and don't forget the inconsistencies and half-truths. I did say SMART women, you know... . There are some that play the role. That is men and women that play the role. Most "players" are like what most men think about when they talk about women being "golddiggers".
RedRobin Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 There are some that play the role. That is men and women that play the role. Most "players" are like what most men think about when they talk about women being "golddiggers". I know. Noone likes to be led on.
joystickd Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 I know. Noone likes to be led on. Sometimes women like you can be overconfident about recognizing players and you end up like falling hard. Men do the same with recognizing golddiggers.
mortensorchid Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Just make sure you keep all the names strait and your calendar in line with them, so that you don't call one the wrong name or double book yourself for an evening. It can happen.
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