What kind of relationship was it?

[jadedguy]

Was with a girl for just a tad over 3 years. We both have kids and met each other's family and friends. I finally broke it off after friends said we weren't in a long term, committed relationship. So what was it then?

 

• Although we didn't live together, I spent almost every night at her place for 3 yrs.
  
• But she never gave me a key.
  
• She never posted couple photos on Facebook till I requested, and then only still once in awhile.
  
• Found out she had x-rated IM's with a former date 3 months into our "relationship."
  
• On a solo vacation, french kissed a guy and went on a date with another. This was the last straw.
  
• Introduced me to male business associates only by name and not boyfriend.
  
• Although came to family/friend events at first, dwindled to almost never recently.
  
• Found out she had late night phone calls with a male business associate.
  
• Found out she met with an ex once.
  
• I yelled at her frequently.
  
• Preferred my company without my kids.
  
• I broke up with her 3-4 times while losing my temper during arguments. She seemed very hurt the first couple times. Didn't jade her the last couple times.
  
• She had an abortion. Yes, ours.
  

 

Was it FWB, commitment phobe, looking for something better? I obviously wasn't what she was looking for, but how can you be in relationship for 3 years and waste all that time especially if you have a kid? And if she was looking for something better, it makes it hard if i'm there every night limiting what she can do.

[AlexCross]

Was with a girl for just a tad over 3 years. We both have kids and met each other's family and friends. I finally broke it off after friends said we weren't in a long term, committed relationship. So what was it then?

 

• Although we didn't live together, I spent almost every night at her place for 3 yrs.
  
• But she never gave me a key.
  
• She never posted couple photos on Facebook till I requested, and then only still once in awhile.
  
• Found out she had x-rated IM's with a former date 3 months into our "relationship."
  
• On a solo vacation, french kissed a guy and went on a date with another. This was the last straw.
  
• Introduced me to male business associates only by name and not boyfriend.
  
• Although came to family/friend events at first, dwindled to almost never recently.
  
• Found out she had late night phone calls with a male business associate.
  
• Found out she met with an ex once.
  
• I yelled at her frequently.
  
• Preferred my company without my kids.
  
• I broke up with her 3-4 times while losing my temper during arguments. She seemed very hurt the first couple times. Didn't jade her the last couple times.
  
• She had an abortion. Yes, ours.
  

Was it FWB, commitment phobe, looking for something better? I obviously wasn't what she was looking for, but how can you be in relationship for 3 years and waste all that time especially if you have a kid? And if she was looking for something better, it makes it hard if i'm there every night limiting what she can do.

 

It was a FWB mixed with Jerry Springer and Maury Povich like characteristics. She had zero respect for you by cheating on you. Reading your post actually makes me sick.

[jadedguy]

Imagine how I feel having lived through it.

 

BTW, if FWB why even introduce to kid and parents?

[AlexCross]

The semantics of some FWB are all different. Some people just meet up for sex and thats it, some people kind of date a little so it doesn't seem so sleezy, it all depends on the couple.

[Balzac]

Ask yourself why you invested three years? Forget about figuring out her mindset. Focus on what your mindset was as this numerical list of red flags ticked off. That's a worthy effort. Painful maybe but necessary.

[jadedguy]

Only now do I realize I was stupidly blind.

[Balzac]

Knowledge is power. The first step to change is self acknowledge of what your contribution to the debacle was. You're headed in the right direction. Now, forgive yourself, think forward action and move past it.

 

Who among us has not acted blindly and absent good judgement? Few I dare to say.

[morichu]

Wow what a circus. All that's missing is the popcorn

[jadedguy]

Think i read on here somewhere that cheating requires as a base, a committed relationship. If that's true, does that mean you can't really cheat in a FWB since there's no commitment to speak of?