I messed up . . . BIG TIME

[libraamour]

Background: My ex and I dated for three years. We broke up before I went to college. He begged for me back, but I was too focused on school and getting used to being by myself so our relationship was off and on. Every break I got from school, I would use it to go home and see him. We talked about getting back together when I came back for summer and then a few days later, he starts dating this new girl. After 3 weeks of them dating, he told me he's no longer in love with me and that he's now in love with her. I was so desperate and hurt that he picked her three weeks over our three years that I cried and begged just like he did when I was in college. While he just didn't care. Ever since then we haven't talked much in a month.

 

So I talked to my ex when he called me the earlier this week and made me feel guilty about not coming by and seeing him before I go back to school. I moved in with a family friend so there's no way he can come see me. Anyway, I took a bus to surprise him at his house on Wednesday since my car is at a shop and we hung out. I broke the biggest rule of all and ended up sleeping with him. After that we hung out a bit longer went around time and meanwhile his new girlfriend, the girl he picked over me, kept calling and texting and he just ignored her. He kept talking bad about her saying stuff like "I don't know if I see a future with her" and "She's so clingy" and "When I break up with her, she's going to snap." I made no comment because hey, he picked her over me. Yet, I felt bad because he looked somewhat sad that he ignored her 26 calls and I told him I would leave if he wanted to talk to his girlfriend. Then, he plotted an elaborate lie out loud about what he will say when he decides to call her so she won't think he's ignoring her. When I tried to leave, he said he didn't want me to go and took my things so I wouldn't go. So I decided to stay a little longer. I was a little annoyed because I thought, hey we'll hang out like old times when we talked and act stupid, but he was pretty much quiet the whole time with random conversations here and there. Next thing you know, it's late and I missed the last bus. He asked if I wanted to spend the night and I agreed stating how I would leave in the morning. Nothing happened that night. He spent the whole night talking to his girlfriend and then felt that he wasn't talking communicating as much as we used to. So he told me he'll make it up on Friday. Anyway, we fall asleep and early in the morning his girlfriend comes knocking on the door. He woke me up and like took her outside and I'm there looking dumb. He comes back inside ordering me to change out of his clothes and to give him 2 minutes so he can move her somewhere else and I can sneak out. I was so angry. I was in rage. I got dressed, went outside before he got a chance to hide her, and then told her hello. I proceeded to walk to the bus stop beyond pissed off. Then I realized that I left my phone charger on his bed. So I went back and they both were by her car and he was just there kissing her butt. They looked at me like I was crazy so I yelled "Oh, I left my charger on your bed." I went and got my charger and went home pissed off. He was my best friend and I just wanted to see him before I left. I didn't want to get back with him. I had good intentions and I was just disrespected. He didn't ask my nicely, he didn't say goodbye, nothing. And guess what? He wins. She's happy again. They're happy again. They're back in love and he promised he won't hurt her again. He gets what he wants. Always! You know I'm glad her feelings got tended to in a hurry while mine just didn't matter. I felt utterly disrespected. I've been very angry and bitter since this situation. I mean I was hurt all summer from him picking this girl over me and after I finally accepted it and wanted to be friends, he hurts me even more? I don't want him to be happy. I want him to suffer. I know that's a bad mentality, but I'm just hurt. It's not fair that this guy who hurt me so much, has a girl that all his friends are jealous of pampering him like he's a king. I just don't think it's fair.

[Balzac]

Life isn't fair. You chose to engage with him, knowing his social status and to that end, I see nothing unfair. I'm sorry you're having hurt feelings. Maybe you've learned a thing or two or three.

[blotter]

Too bad the world doesn't revolve around what you think is fair.

[AlexCross]

Background: My ex and I dated for three years. We broke up before I went to college. He begged for me back, but I was too focused on school and getting used to being by myself so our relationship was off and on. Every break I got from school, I would use it to go home and see him. We talked about getting back together when I came back for summer and then a few days later, he starts dating this new girl. After 3 weeks of them dating, he told me he's no longer in love with me and that he's now in love with her. I was so desperate and hurt that he picked her three weeks over our three years that I cried and begged just like he did when I was in college. While he just didn't care. Ever since then we haven't talked much in a month.

 

So I talked to my ex when he called me the earlier this week and made me feel guilty about not coming by and seeing him before I go back to school. I moved in with a family friend so there's no way he can come see me. Anyway, I took a bus to surprise him at his house on Wednesday since my car is at a shop and we hung out. I broke the biggest rule of all and ended up sleeping with him. After that we hung out a bit longer went around time and meanwhile his new girlfriend, the girl he picked over me, kept calling and texting and he just ignored her. He kept talking bad about her saying stuff like "I don't know if I see a future with her" and "She's so clingy" and "When I break up with her, she's going to snap." I made no comment because hey, he picked her over me. Yet, I felt bad because he looked somewhat sad that he ignored her 26 calls and I told him I would leave if he wanted to talk to his girlfriend. Then, he plotted an elaborate lie out loud about what he will say when he decides to call her so she won't think he's ignoring her. When I tried to leave, he said he didn't want me to go and took my things so I wouldn't go. So I decided to stay a little longer. I was a little annoyed because I thought, hey we'll hang out like old times when we talked and act stupid, but he was pretty much quiet the whole time with random conversations here and there. Next thing you know, it's late and I missed the last bus. He asked if I wanted to spend the night and I agreed stating how I would leave in the morning. Nothing happened that night. He spent the whole night talking to his girlfriend and then felt that he wasn't talking communicating as much as we used to. So he told me he'll make it up on Friday. Anyway, we fall asleep and early in the morning his girlfriend comes knocking on the door. He woke me up and like took her outside and I'm there looking dumb. He comes back inside ordering me to change out of his clothes and to give him 2 minutes so he can move her somewhere else and I can sneak out. I was so angry. I was in rage. I got dressed, went outside before he got a chance to hide her, and then told her hello. I proceeded to walk to the bus stop beyond pissed off. Then I realized that I left my phone charger on his bed. So I went back and they both were by her car and he was just there kissing her butt. They looked at me like I was crazy so I yelled "Oh, I left my charger on your bed." I went and got my charger and went home pissed off. He was my best friend and I just wanted to see him before I left. I didn't want to get back with him. I had good intentions and I was just disrespected. He didn't ask my nicely, he didn't say goodbye, nothing. And guess what? He wins. She's happy again. They're happy again. They're back in love and he promised he won't hurt her again. He gets what he wants. Always! You know I'm glad her feelings got tended to in a hurry while mine just didn't matter. I felt utterly disrespected. I've been very angry and bitter since this situation. I mean I was hurt all summer from him picking this girl over me and after I finally accepted it and wanted to be friends, he hurts me even more? I don't want him to be happy. I want him to suffer. I know that's a bad mentality, but I'm just hurt. It's not fair that this guy who hurt me so much, has a girl that all his friends are jealous of pampering him like he's a king. I just don't think it's fair.

 

You did this to yourself. Plain and simple. Get over it.

[Balzac]

Learned a lesson, we all have screwed up. Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior.

 

Clean up your guilt and put one foot in front of the other.

[Pogona]

This guy is a scumbag and a coward. You and this other girl are being absolutely stupid putting up with his bull****. No offense, but it sounds like you might need to do a lot maturing if you think a person worthy of love would act like this.