rach24680 Posted August 18, 2012 Posted August 18, 2012 So my boyfriend broke up with me today. I suppose i saw it coming as I told him i'm going travelling either late next year or the year after (as long as no major evens spoil our plans), although i thought we would stay together at least for a while longer and maybe stay together while i go. We've been together for just over 4 years and this morning while i was in work, over txt might i add (the coward!), my boyfriend told me it wouldn't be fair on him to stay with me knowing that i'll be going travelling. I understand this but I asked if we could talk face to face about it and he said no, he thinks this is for the best. It's come at an appropriate time for him as he's going on a big lads night out tonight, how appropriate! I don't know if he's just using this as an excuse as he's never thought about the future before, saying no about plans to move in together, told me he doesn't want kids and marriage is for men who are 'whipped'. He's also cheated on me once before and I caught him signed up to dating sites in the past, we got through this and everything was fine until today, his mindset has just seemed to change. At the moment i'm not very angry/depressed/stressed/upset about it, but i'm sure it'll hit me soon... Actually i think i'm more annoyed that I didn't split up with him when he did all those bad things, but like a fool i took him back. Anyway, as we split up via txt, I didn't tell him i was going NC, (i think this is the best way to handle BU's right?) so do i need to tell him this if he txts me? or do i just leave it? I know he'll txt me - unless he's made of stone - because it's my birthday on thursday, so what do i do when it happens? Also we both have things of each others so when do we exchange? Advice appreciated thanks
TaraMaiden Posted August 18, 2012 Posted August 18, 2012 He never was committed. His actions and opinions scream that loud and clear.... You gave him the neatest and most convenient way out. He gives a damn about you - he's hardly going to be weeping into his beer tonight, out with the guys, is he? "Perfect! Thanks doll, just what I needed! An excuse to get clear of his deal!" go NC, Stay NC and let him find out the hard way. Say nothing, announce nothing, clarify nothing. Let him go, and move on. And yeah - you're right. It's been long overdue by the sound of it.
TaraMaiden Posted August 18, 2012 Posted August 18, 2012 To add: If his stuff is portable, bag it into a box, and take it to where he lives, tonight. that way, there's no exchange. leave a note with it, which reads: 'I will stop by on *Date/time* to pick my stuff up. I'd be grateful if you could put it all in a box for me to collect then. thanks, *name*.' If he lives with his parents (Well, I don't know.....!) maybe add that if he's not in, to make sure he leaves it with them... Then on that date, AT THAT TIME - go with a friend, to pick it up together.
Author rach24680 Posted August 18, 2012 Author Posted August 18, 2012 He never was committed. His actions and opinions scream that loud and clear.... You gave him the neatest and most convenient way out. He gives a damn about you - he's hardly going to be weeping into his beer tonight, out with the guys, is he? "Perfect! Thanks doll, just what I needed! An excuse to get clear of his deal!" go NC, Stay NC and let him find out the hard way. Say nothing, announce nothing, clarify nothing. Let him go, and move on. And yeah - you're right. It's been long overdue by the sound of it. yea i guess he's not going to be to bothered about it over the weekend! i'm starting to get annoyed at myself now for letting us get this far into a relationship that was obviously disfunctional. Why i let him walk all over me and make me think that getting a place together wasn't a good idea, is beyond me, I swear i'll never let another guy treat me like ****! in fact i think they're all the same when nice women treat them with the best they can give, they end up being ****'s. 4 years ended by txt, what a loser. good advice about the stuff swapping, i think i'll have to take a friend anyway because my tortoise is at his and there's no way he's keeping him!
TaraMaiden Posted August 18, 2012 Posted August 18, 2012 Hell no, they're worth a lot! does he live alone, or with someone else...?
Author rach24680 Posted August 18, 2012 Author Posted August 18, 2012 i did buy it him as a christmas present though. but he doesn't really bother about him, he's great the tortoise =) my ex (sounds weird typing that) lives with his parents, who i presume will be all too happy for me to take him. I could go while he's at work as I do know his shift patterns, and like you said, drop his stuff off and leave a note saying please bag up my things, and i'll be collecting torres (the tortoise) on whatever date.
beyond Posted August 18, 2012 Posted August 18, 2012 i did buy it him as a christmas present though. but he doesn't really bother about him, he's great the tortoise =) my ex (sounds weird typing that) lives with his parents, who i presume will be all too happy for me to take him. I could go while he's at work as I do know his shift patterns, and like you said, drop his stuff off and leave a note saying please bag up my things, and i'll be collecting torres (the tortoise) on whatever date. Sounds like a good plan. I know you feel like it's a waste of 4 years, but better that than after getting married, children etc, then you find out he isn't commited to you. Look on the positive, you have learnt a great lesson and you will know what the warning signs are next time. This break up leaves you free to please yourself, and, when ready, find a great guy who will treat you right. xx
TaraMaiden Posted August 18, 2012 Posted August 18, 2012 No, arrange with his parents to collect Torres at the same time as dropping off his stuff... what breed is it? I used to have two Testudo Hermannii, but they were stolen! do you absolutely definitely have to have the other stuff you've got there...? Material possessions are infinitely replaceable....
Author rach24680 Posted August 18, 2012 Author Posted August 18, 2012 he's an indian star, bought him when we was a baby and now he's 3, =O that's awful they got stolen! I suppose I don't need my clothes... but there's some photos of me and my family at his, and to be honest, I'm not sure what else but I stayed there quite a lot so I'm guessing there will be other things. I'll let him fester for a while though, let him realise how much of a p***k he is, and then do it. Can't believe he did it when it's my birthday on thursday, we had plans for the weekend too, maybe he's skint and can't buy a present... haha. Surprised how oky i'm feeling!
beyond Posted August 18, 2012 Posted August 18, 2012 he's an indian star, bought him when we was a baby and now he's 3, =O that's awful they got stolen! I suppose I don't need my clothes... but there's some photos of me and my family at his, and to be honest, I'm not sure what else but I stayed there quite a lot so I'm guessing there will be other things. I'll let him fester for a while though, let him realise how much of a p***k he is, and then do it. Can't believe he did it when it's my birthday on thursday, we had plans for the weekend too, maybe he's skint and can't buy a present... haha. Surprised how oky i'm feeling! Why wait? I would do it now, especially while you are feeling ok and strong. Otherwise he can use it as a reason to get in touch at a later point - asking you when you want your stuff , or just turning up with it when you least expect it. Take charge and go get it.
Author rach24680 Posted August 18, 2012 Author Posted August 18, 2012 Why wait? I would do it now, especially while you are feeling ok and strong. Otherwise he can use it as a reason to get in touch at a later point - asking you when you want your stuff , or just turning up with it when you least expect it. Take charge and go get it. yea that's a good point, maybe i'll go monday morning while he's in work and get him, and my stuff then. This is a pain in the arse, i'm glad i don't live near him anymore. We've got mutual friends that i'm worried i won't be able to see much of anymore though as we all used to meet up in their local pub, which isn't local to me at all, I used to stay at him house. I know they can come out with me with him not being there but they're mainly all men and I don't know if they'll do that...
Recommended Posts