TeenLove Posted July 15, 2004 Posted July 15, 2004 I have a question....see theres this girl i met on an msn convo...she lives near me...same city so on, she thought i was cute and all, she shares the exact same interests, an AMAZING personality.... Its just her looks...we're gonna meet up this sunday and I dunno what to say....i mean it wudda been perfect if she was hot...like a freggen dream come true....but i dont know what to call her at the moment...i dont care about her looks its what my friends think... "shes too ugly" or something u know? i know u guys shud say "ignore them" but my reputation will go down...and i dont want it to happen...shud we date secretly....im just confused...this is one of the best forums i seen around for like..loving and fitness... remember i dont wanna screw things up for this girl im going to the gym...eating healthier and everything just to impress her....so guys...tell me what to do?
Fayebelle Posted July 15, 2004 Posted July 15, 2004 I am a former beauty queen ( not a joke but feel free to laugh) and my BF outweighs me by 200 lbs. If you want to know how much that matters to me than check out the other comments I've made about him on other threads and you will see what is important to women. No one deserves to be dated SECRETLY- if you think this is an option than you don't deserve her. And I would consider what I look for in a friend if they are willing to judge you negatively for finding someone who makes you happy.
Olivia_19742004 Posted July 15, 2004 Posted July 15, 2004 The thing is.... i really dont care what she looks like...its my friends.....you know how they go "ur dating an ugly bitch! (sorry about the swearing..) im just scared....whats gonna happen? So what do u think i shud do.... Shud i Date her secretly... Or not date her...or Date her with out a care..I dunno...im just confused..she made me go crazy...i started to eat healthy...starting to work out...its crazy i just really like her...so technically..im scared You need to get some courage and stop worrying about what your friends think. If you like her you should do what you want to do. What would you rather have? A hot girlfriend that doesn't stimulate you or a cute girlfriend that stimulates you every day? What does it matter what your friends think? Most of them will probably be jealous that you have a girlfriend and they don't.
miz_barby Posted July 15, 2004 Posted July 15, 2004 OH STOP she's not UGLY! She wears glasses but so what??? She has a very pretty face and looks like she's a happy go lucky person! Who cares what your friends say if they are REAL friends it will matter more that you're happy! Would you prefer to date some "super hot" girl that all your friends will want to try and steal from you? Don't be shallow! Don't date her in "secret" if you feel that way maybe she deserves better than you! But if you KNOW you like her, date her and f*ck what any one else says!
Fayebelle Posted July 15, 2004 Posted July 15, 2004 I replied to your other thread before this one so maybe you should check that one out too.
Teenlove Posted July 15, 2004 Posted July 15, 2004 So u guys are 100% sure that i shud do this and date her?
hurricane495 Posted July 15, 2004 Posted July 15, 2004 Dude follow your heart and Be a man dont let your friends or anyone else for that matter make decesions for you. If you dont date her and your friends are happy the question you need to ask yourself is would you be happy? I really dont think you would My girlfriend is a lil chubby and isnt a supermodel but she makes me feel like a million bucks every time im with her and my friends are just happy im happy. Maybe you should pursue new friends. mature friends
Fayebelle Posted July 15, 2004 Posted July 15, 2004 Maybe you should worry that she would hold your shallow friends against you.
quankanne Posted July 15, 2004 Posted July 15, 2004 do looks matter? only if you're incredibly superficial about those kinds of things. my thoughts are that if you put a bag over someone's head, a stellar personality should shine through, because looks are unimportant in the overall scheme of things. Ditto fayebelle's remarks: if you have to date someone in secret, you're really not someone worthy of dating.
Olivia_19742004 Posted July 15, 2004 Posted July 15, 2004 So u guys are 100% sure that i shud do this and date her? No. I've changed my mind. You shouldn't date her. Don't waste her time. She deserves someone that wants to be with her enough to not care that his friends don't think she's pretty enough. You're the loser not her.
EC Posted July 15, 2004 Posted July 15, 2004 Guys are so vain sometimes. Your not ready to date anyone if your in the "it's all about me" state of mind. Dating is a two way thing where you learn to put other people before yourself sometimes. Your already thinking "my" reputation what are they going to say about "me". Grow up. If you like the girl who cares what she looks like. And "secretly" wtf! That's not fair to the girl. Guys like you make me so upset. If your going to date her then date her proudly and don't care so much about what your "friends" say cuz in the end my dear you will see that you will only have enough real friends to count on one hand.
Teenlove Posted July 15, 2004 Posted July 15, 2004 You guys dont get it....IM CRAZY ABOUT HER i dont care what she looks like...Its what other people think...I'm the sensitive type....plus i am in high school..And EVERYTHING starts up in High school...so im sorry if i dissapointed u guys....but i think im gonna do it...i know i pissed u guys off by saying do looks matter but this is one of the best forums when ANYONE can express them selves and no one would laugh..and thats why i posted it here....so people please....im gonna do it sunday and if theres something that u hsud warn me about tell me now...
Olivia_19742004 Posted July 15, 2004 Posted July 15, 2004 And what are you going to do when your friends start making fun of you? What are you going to say when she hears your friends calling her ugly and names to you? What will you say to them? What will you say to her? Don't break her heart because you're too weak to stand up to your friends. We were all in high school we know what it's like. I'd rather be alone and know that I am honest with myself and others than to be someone I'm not just so I have friends.
Fayebelle Posted July 15, 2004 Posted July 15, 2004 Originally posted by Teenlove ...plus i am in high school..And EVERYTHING starts up in High school... You're right- including the basis of the man you are going to be. Do you want to be the guy who lives his life by his friends opinions or the guy who stands up for the good he sees in people? Teen- I remember high school and how hard it was so please don't think I'm slamming you. I just want to show you a few points you didn't seem to think of before.
EC Posted July 15, 2004 Posted July 15, 2004 It's true half the f**cking people you talk to in highschool you never see again for the rest of your life. Trust me! Don't give up on a good thing because of what people are going to think. If your not 100% sure you want to be with her and will deal with all the namecalling then don't lead her on and waste her time because all you will be doing is keeping her from someone that will appreciate her and not give a f*ck about what anybody thinks.
JohnnyBravo Posted July 15, 2004 Posted July 15, 2004 My only comment beside not caring what other people think is that earlier this year, I fell in love with a girl that was not as beautiful as my ex or other women that I've dated. She was very attractive, but her amazing personality and our chemistry completely transcended anyhting that was lacking in the looks dept. the relationship ended because we lived in different cities, countries even, and the timing was bad, but I learned an important lesson. Don't be so superficial. You might end up very happy.
hurricane495 Posted July 15, 2004 Posted July 15, 2004 Don't be so superficial. You might end up very happy. Now your talking!!! go for it just DO NOT LEAD HER ON.Im sure you wouldn't like to be led on
moimeme Posted July 16, 2004 Posted July 16, 2004 I'm with the folks who say you should not date her. She needs a guy who's his own man and not somebody who's too timid to have his own opinion. Go find yourself the hot girl you think your friends will like and good luck with her. And maybe try to learn to be a strong, independent individual.
CurlyIam Posted July 16, 2004 Posted July 16, 2004 Of course I understand your concern about her looks! I'm sure you're wondering if she'll find you attractive or not. Or her "type". IT is an inidivisable part of the dating game. Physical attraction IS very important and I think you are only right to worry about it . I did too... quite a few time, to be honest... What I say is this: stop thinking about it, put on your favourite shirt and your best smile and go out there and spend one nice evening. Maybe you'll be surprised !!!! Curly
morrigan Posted July 16, 2004 Posted July 16, 2004 I don't think you should date her unless you're willing to be your own person. Who cares if she's not model material? I frankly doubt that you or any of your friends are either. And it really wouldn't matter anyway, there is no single standard of beauty or attractiveness. If someone is looking only for physical perfection, a mannequin or a blow up doll will fit the bill nicely. If you put your friends' opinions of women above your own feelings, your not only wasting this girl's time, you're giving up something that may be very worthwhile to you.
havNfun Posted July 19, 2004 Posted July 19, 2004 Well for another point of view, I advise not to meet up with her until you have seen a good clear photo. And I don't understand why everyone thinks there is something wrong with a young man wanting to find a girl pretty or hot? when he is fifty he can worry about the rest. And if any guy can remember highschool and stuff, you don't want to be embarrased. I have had some uncomfortable blind meets and advise that you know what you are getting into.
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