a year later..im going to go nuts!

[Troubles]

It's been just about a year since my BU with my ex girlfriend, we didn't break up for any other reasons aside from i got ill and pushed her away, so she did what she thought was best for herself and broke up with me, couple weeks later she decided to find a new boyfriend, it was probably 2-3 months later. Anyways since then i've gone NC and LC on and off, I've handled it fairly well untill well tonight, for some reason i've found resentment again towards her. I feel so angry with her and I don't know why..since the break up she has checked my blog every single day to get any sort of info about my life, if I go NC she will text me 1-2 months into it, this has really taken a toll on me now..and i feel i need to cut her out of my life completely, this sucks as she was there for me through a huge part of my life ( i got diagnosed with cancer last year) since the BU i've become a better guy and i know she knows I was a great boyfriend to her..it just sucks because I feel NC and me disappearing completely will make her forget about me completely since she has this boyfriend to keep her company and get her mind off of things.

 

Just thought id rant i guess..

[BooBoo1982]

Couldn't you try being friends? Why cut her out of your life completely? Checking your blog everyday and texting regular sounds likd she very much wants to be part of your life.

[WordvAction]

I'm going to disagree with BooBoo here. Having her in limited contact in your life is driving you crazy, becoming friends will only make it worse.

 

OP, I think you need to cut her out of your life until you have moved on from her completely. Then you can become friends with her if you want to at that point. And no, she won't forget about you regardless of what you do. I can tell you this, putting yourself in limbo (LC) isnt going to resolve the situation

[Exit]

Maybe I'm thinking about somebody else, but the whole "I can tel that she looks at my blog" thing sounds familiar, and I'm guessing I came across one of your threads months ago where you had mentioned that same detail. And all I can say is holy crap, you've still been allowing that to happen? I would have either closed the blog, or called her out on it and asked her to stop looking, or find out if there was some way to disable the feature where you can tell who is viewing your page. I for one don't even know how you're 100% sure it's her, what are you going off of, an IP number, or is she a member on the same site and it literally shows her username as having visited your page? I just hope you're certain because it would be kinda funny if it wasn't even her all along.

 

Anyways the point is, assuming you are the person who was dealing with the same things a while back, you're still allowing these things to mess with you and give you some kind of hope that she's still interested in you. It's no wonder you're coming up on a full year and still going through the cycles of dealing with your emotions.

 

It's great to hear you finally considering that you need an absolute clean break but I don't know why you had to put yourself through a year of hell before finally realizing that's probably a good idea. Ditch the blog. Start a new one if you have to. I've used many different websites over the years and I can't recall too many that actually showed me who was visiting, especially in recent years with privacy controls constantly getting more strict. So whatever site you're using that lets you see that she is still looking, get off of there.

 

It's been a year it's definitely time to pull out all the stops and do anything and everything to get yourself moved on from this. Get rid of every remaining little dangling string of contact, get off any websites that she knows you're on, change your contact info if you really think she'll contact you if you go full NC, don't try to use her behavior as a way to justify yours. You can't just say "oh I'm helpless if I go NC she always breaks it in a month or two", you can still control that, you can make it so she can't reach you, it's not that hard.

 

Bottom line is it's not fair that you've spent a year of your life thinking about her and she has spent the majority of it with someone else. Stop allowing things to keep going the way they are or you'll be here in a year saying it's been 2 years since your breakup and you're still sad. Whatever the hell that blog is, dump it, it's clear that it's been a major obstacle in your healing because you always mention that detail about how she is still checking it.