Final Update! Took 10 months, but I now know how she feels about me...

[HughHardcastle]

Please reference my prior threads if you want even more history on this: right here.

 

Quick summary: Worked with a girl starting in October, first girl I ever thought I had any sort of shot with. Asked her out in December, and again in April, got a soft "yes" and a soft "No", and tried to move on. Moved out of town in June, but missed her too much, and got too many signals that she might still like me, to give up on her.

 

Which brings me to this week. A couple weeks ago, I told her I would be back in her town this weekend, and we should meet up somewhere for dinner and drinks. She excitedly agreed, and I thought I had my shot. I was going to tell her this Saturday night how I felt, and ask her out for next weekend.

 

This week, I sent her a text just following up to confirm, and got nothing back. I got home last night from playing tennis, and saw her on Facebook Chat. This is where things get interesting.

 

I once again told her since I was going to be in her town, we should get together. To which she said that it was a funny situation, this weekend she is actually going to be in the town I live in...because her man wants her to visit him.

 

After I read that, I knew I had to tell her everything. I told her I didn't have any reason to be in her town, other than to see her. That the hardest part about moving away has been missing her, and that I was planning on asking her out on a date this weekend, and that obviously that would be a foolish thing now.

 

She told me that she considered me a good friend, and that she has had a boyfriend for a little while, and that she was sorry about this. I told her she didn't have to apologize for anything, and that I hope we can still be friends and that it won't be weird between us.

 

I haven't heard from her since. And I don't expect to. And I was lying about wanting to be friends. I know it might be an ******* move, but I just cannot see her again, I don't want to keep stringing myself along, thinking that there might still be some chance to be with her. The first time she would laugh at one of my jokes, the vicious cycle would return again. I need to move on, and unfortunately that means removing her from my life.

 

I deleted the 8 months worth of texts, the silly picture she drew for me, and her name and number from my phone. I hope she has a great life, and finds happiness with the guy she is with, or someone else. I just know that I can no longer be a part of that life, and I was seemingly never as a big a part of it as I thought. I am not the type who can now go after 5 other women I know. She was it. I can't imagine myself ever finding anyone else, or even talking to a girl I meet at a show, playing softball, etc. There was something about her that made me escape every comfort zone, and do stuff I never thought I would. Maybe it's time to go back to before I met her, and resign myself to being alone forever.

[truth_seeker]

She told me that she considered me a good friend, and that she has had a boyfriend for a little while, and that she was sorry about this. I told her she didn't have to apologize for anything, and that I hope we can still be friends and that it won't be weird between us.

 

There's your answer. She only thinks of you as a friend.

 

Don't feel so down on yourself. You will meet someone. Keep the faith.

[durentu]

you dumb ass

 

go back and go get her dammit

 

How the heck to you expect her to respond after that whole "you're my soulmate" speech? Pretty ****'n freaked out huh?

 

You stomped on her "psycho alarm" for which the only valid response is "friend zone"

 

Go get her, or get a restraining order. If she was that good for you, you best get her or inherit a life of regret.

Edited August 18, 2012 by durentu

[mortensorchid]

Well, at least now you know. She only thinks of you as a friend and there is no reason to keep attempting with her. It's good to have closure if nothing else. I hope you can move on.

[HughHardcastle]

you dumb ass

 

go back and go get her dammit

 

How the heck to you expect her to respond after that whole "you're my soulmate" speech? Pretty ****'n freaked out huh?

 

You stomped on her "psycho alarm" for which the only valid response is "friend zone"

 

Go get her, or get a restraining order. If she was that good for you, you best get her or inherit a life of regret.

What the hell are you talking about? Telling someone you miss them and were going to ask them out is not a "you're my soulmate" speech.

[Teknoe]

Sorry man, but you live and learn.

 

Yeah, don't expect her to talk to you again, or much. She's going to avoid you because now it's become awkward.

 

Just how it is.

 

I've found... confessing never works.

 

When a potential couple clicks, they just click. The guy doesn't need to confess. The girl gives him enough to work with where it flows pretty naturally to the next step.

 

Confessing is 95% for "male friends" without any other card to play

[Teknoe]

I am not the type who can now go after 5 other women I know. She was it. I can't imagine myself ever finding anyone else, or even talking to a girl I meet at a show, playing softball, etc. There was something about her that made me escape every comfort zone, and do stuff I never thought I would. Maybe it's time to go back to before I met her, and resign myself to being alone forever.

 

PS- you aren't the first guy, nor the last.

 

And yes, you will move on. eventually.

 

this happens to 1000s of guys every month...

[phineas]

Sorry man, but you live and learn.

 

Yeah, don't expect her to talk to you again, or much. She's going to avoid you because now it's become awkward.

 

Just how it is.

 

I've found... confessing never works.

 

When a potential couple clicks, they just click. The guy doesn't need to confess. The girl gives him enough to work with where it flows pretty naturally to the next step.

 

Confessing is 95% for "male friends" without any other card to play

 

It's awkward because she knows he knows she's a POS.

 

This stuff happened to me a lot because I was like the OP.

 

It doesn't happen anymore because if a woman flirts with me I ask her out & anything but a "yes" means she no longer gets my attention.

[Imajerk17]

I would be interested in the timing--when did she get this boyfriend of hers versus all that what happened in your last thread.

 

What have you learned from all this HHC?

[Imajerk17]

Sorry man, but you live and learn.

 

Yeah, don't expect her to talk to you again, or much. She's going to avoid you because now it's become awkward.

 

Just how it is.

 

I've found... confessing never works.

 

When a potential couple clicks, they just click. The guy doesn't need to confess. The girl gives him enough to work with where it flows pretty naturally to the next step.

 

Confessing is 95% for "male friends" without any other card to play

 

I agree with this 100%. The way it's gone is boy and girl get closer (holding hands, hugging) and then the kiss happens. After that if both parties are feeling it, it's off to the races.

 

Thing is, seems to me that she had been giving him plenty to work with a month ago. (Which again makes me wonder when she got this boyfriend.) OP sadly never a move.

 

I hate to get HHC to kick himself further, but I wonder if she ended up with the boyfriend because HHC didn't make a move (see last thread). Maybe she and the boyfriend got together in the past few weeks.

Edited August 18, 2012 by Imajerk17

[HughHardcastle]

It's awkward because she knows he knows she's a POS.

 

This stuff happened to me a lot because I was like the OP.

 

It doesn't happen anymore because if a woman flirts with me I ask her out & anything but a "yes" means she no longer gets my attention.

So, she is a "POS" because she's not attracted to me and found a boyfriend before I ever told her how I felt or asked her out? That doesn't make a lot of sense.

[phineas]

So, she is a "POS" because she's not attracted to me and found a boyfriend before I ever told her how I felt or asked her out? That doesn't make a lot of sense.

 

No, she's a POS because it was clear she was leading you on since you first posted about her & now we have confirmation.

 

She knew you were interested in her.

She made plans to meet out with you.

Then last min. she all of sudden remembered she had a BF?

 

Seriously?

 

Stop making excuses for an obvious attention whore.

[the_Grinch]

Definitely a crappy thing to make a plan and then cancel (by saying you have a boyfriend to meet). At least you know now and can go after someone else!