MercuryMorrison1 Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 (edited) I just need to vent a little here... I'm 24 years old and I feel like im missing the bus on dating. I've never been the type of person who activily go's out in serch of meeting new people, and that's my fault. As a teenager and young adult I've spent most of my time beleiving that eventually things would just happen, that eventually I would just start meeting girls and start dating and everything would just be hokey pokey. But over the past year or so I've taken the time to really give my dating life a through once over, and I've come to the conclusion that something needs to be done. I've had flings, sexual encounters and things of that nature...But never really had a real in depth boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. And that's what I want. I am acutely aware that though I'm still young and have time, if I don't change my ways now I'm going to wind up spending my youth alone. I'm not saying that I'm looking for the one right now, I mean aren't we all in our own little way? But right now I just want to actually date just be in the presence of the oppisite sex on a fairly regular basis, I want to take girls out and go on dates and experience having girlfriends all the ups and downs of it all. None of this is say that I am totally in-experienced with girls...I've had sex with several girls and had a few short term flings and one long distance relationship that was dragged out far longer than it should have been allowed to go. But is dating really THIS hard? Or am I just making it hard on myself? I'm not unattractive, I've even been told on occasion that I'm pretty pleasing to the eye...But that's just superficial. Its ultimately my utter lack of self confidence has continued to drag me down and the thing that upsets me the most is that I don't really know how to fix it. Often times people just say things, like ''oh you should just beleive in yourself'' but its hard to beleive in oneself if you don't know how to! In the past if a girl flaked on a date it made me feel unworthy of dating which in turn made me wonder why I should even bother, and even contemplate a life without dating or a partner of anykind. But after spending a few months alone I would recollect myself and go out and try again, 90% of the time it would be the same crap all over again. Over the past year I've decided that I don't want to be alone anymore, I want to date, I crave the physical and psycological attachment that comes with having a girlfriend, but I honestly don't know how to get there. I don't mean to sound whiney...I just needed to get these feelings off my chest and perhaps get some advice and/or feedback. Thanks for reading. Edited August 17, 2012 by MercuryMorrison1
MCMLXXXIX Posted August 18, 2012 Posted August 18, 2012 (edited) Wow. We are about the same age and I experienced the same thing. I always thought relationships were overrated. People get together when really they don't really belong together. They are not honest enough to say they are just into each other physically. They call it love, ****. That's just what I witnessed. I did however believe that someday I might want to really invest myself in someone, but it also did feel kind of hopeless. At one point I also spent months alone, waiting for "the one", and eventually thought "**** this, I'm going to date the next girl" and I did and it was ****. Earlier this year I began dating the most charming girl I ever met. She came out of nowhere (met through friends, but still, I did not expect it). Getting to know each other was simple and fun. After two dates I can say I knew I would make her my girlfriend. I was not a virgin so to speak, but I was a "relationship" virgin. I had never for example held hands with anyone and stuff like that. We've been together since, but we had an argument or two. I don't regret anything. I don't regret that I waited so long. I don't regret that I chose her. Now how can I help you? Just know that a relationship requires energy, time, commitment and you really have to put your mind to it. None of it felt like an effort for me. If it did, I would stop. You can't just "long-term date" anyone. It has to be someone that suits you. I don't think you missed the bus. The bus is full of unhappy and emotionally-****ed people anyway. If you decided to wait, it may be out of respect for yourself and other people. You did not want to get involved because it did not feel right. That is noble. Be patient, be hard brother. Edited August 18, 2012 by MCMLXXXIX
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