jayy23 Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 So after some thought I think I'm goina send her a msg it's been 41 days of NC and I haven't heard from her in that time. she is on holiday just now and is back on Sunday but the place she is on holiday is the same place me and her went together last year that's eating away at me how she can go back thr to the exact same place but without me this time.
Drseussgrrl Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 Don't do it. You won't get the response you want and it will make you feel worse. Trust me. 1
WeirdExs Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 Don't text her... it won't do anything, she needs to come around herself and a text message is only going to take you a step back. On a side note, I've been thinking about this alot, personally, I don't want to completely de-friend the ex from facebook as part of a no-contact. I don't really care seeing what she does and I want her to see how happy I am and everything that I'm doing.
lovejoy41 Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 (edited) NOOOO Jay don't do it. You're just going to throw those 41 days of progress away like that? You're going to have to start all over again if you don't hear what you want to hear from her. I'm only 2 1/2 weeks into NC and it sounds crazy, but yes I miss him, but enough to break NC? Nope. Remember this person broke your heart ans is moving on. So you have to as well. All that breaking NC does is stall your progress. I know that he will either ignore me because I've ignored him or he will hurt me or piss me off all over again and my heart can't handle that. Hang in there, you've got 27 more days of NC than I have. Be strong Edited August 17, 2012 by lovejoy41
Author jayy23 Posted August 17, 2012 Author Posted August 17, 2012 Don't do it. You won't get the response you want and it will make you feel worse. Trust me. How am I ment to know I won't get the response I want if I don't try and find out?
Drseussgrrl Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 Did she dump you? Then you know she doesn't want to be a part of your life and that's all you need to know. You've come so far with NC to just throw all that progress away right now. You're feeling vulnerable because you know what she's up to. She may or may not be thinking about you, but trust me - she's thinking about you MORE now because you're aren't contacting her. It shows self-restraint and dignity. Keep the NC. 1
Author jayy23 Posted August 17, 2012 Author Posted August 17, 2012 (edited) NOOOO Jay don't do it. You're just going to throw those 41 days of progress away like that? You're going to have to start all over again if you don't hear what you want to hear from her. I'm only 2 1/2 weeks into NC and it sounds crazy, but yes I miss him, but enough to break NC? Nope. Remember this person broke your heart ans is moving on. So you have to as well. All that breaking NC does is stall your progress. I know that he will either ignore me because I've ignored him or he will hurt me or piss me off all over again and my heart can't handle that. Hang in there, you've got 27 more days of NC than I have. Be strong I don't want to just throw the 41 days away but I was expecting her to have got in contact with me by now and it's getting to me that she hasent even tried. Plus her being on holiday in the same place we went together just at the end of last year is playing on my mind I couldn't go back thr just because of all the good memories that we shared together thr but it's easy for her just to go back thr walk about and drink in the same bar we went together everynight and not even think about us it's getting to me. And it's Friday so I have no idea wat she is up to tonight Edited August 17, 2012 by jayy23
Author jayy23 Posted August 17, 2012 Author Posted August 17, 2012 Did she dump you? Then you know she doesn't want to be a part of your life and that's all you need to know. You've come so far with NC to just throw all that progress away right now. You're feeling vulnerable because you know what she's up to. She may or may not be thinking about you, but trust me - she's thinking about you MORE now because you're aren't contacting her. It shows self-restraint and dignity. Keep the NC. But is she really thinking about me or is she out thr on holiday having a really good time and completly forgetting about me.
Drseussgrrl Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 Well you don't know. If she IS having fun and not thinking about you, do you really want to know that? I know it sucks and it's hard dude. Read this: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/56954-do-you-really-think-contacting-your-ex-going-help-you-guide-long-walk It really helps me whenever I'm tempted to break NC. It's a swift kick in the ass but it's all truth.
Author jayy23 Posted August 17, 2012 Author Posted August 17, 2012 Well you don't know. If she IS having fun and not thinking about you, do you really want to know that? I know it sucks and it's hard dude. Read this: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/56954-do-you-really-think-contacting-your-ex-going-help-you-guide-long-walk It really helps me whenever I'm tempted to break NC. It's a swift kick in the ass but it's all truth. That's the thing she probs is having a good time and not thinking about me shes such a strong minded girl so when she tells her self not to think about me she won't she probs feels great not having to think about me. cool I'll give it a read.
lovejoy41 Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 @jay I understand how you feel sweetie but I agree with drseussggrl. We all have those thoughts about our ex and wonder "how can they just go on like that", "how can they go to the same places we used to go" etc etc... BUT there is nothing that you can do about that. You can't stop her from doing any of these things that she's choosing to do. You have to get off of her and start thinking about you now. It's hard as heck but it's the only way you can even start to heal. If not, you're throwing away precious time. Maybe you need to ask yourself why you're really doing the NC because if you're only doing it in hopes of getting her back you could be doing it for the wrong reason. NC is intended to help you heal as well as show your ex that you have respect for yourself and that you deserve respect from them. If your ex gets the picture, TRULY makes a change, and comes back regretting it, great. If NOT, you would have had this time to heal and move on with your life whether you're single and happy or whether it's in a new relationship with someone else. Either way sweetie, your progress has got to start with you accepting that this is the way things are right now. I know it's hard, but remember we are all going through it & trying our best to get through it. Hang in there my friend.
big bear Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 I broke NC in July after 4 weeks. Again the circle started and now I am on day 10. Let me tell you dude,it ain't worth it at all. But as most of us guys do, you probably will end up doing the opposite. May I suggest just getting ready to all her responses. Like: 1. If she does not respond. 2. Is rude. 3. Says something hurtful. Just get this picture and take the final call.
SpiderxMan Posted August 18, 2012 Posted August 18, 2012 Like big bear said, contacting your ex that dont want you anymore is only going to hurt you. I know it's hard to take in right now, cuhs you're looking for some closure that's clear as day, and it sucks. But don't trip it happens to the best of us. So from now on, Just work on bettering yourself, and I guarantee she's going to come crawling back begging one day.
not-a-drive-by Posted August 18, 2012 Posted August 18, 2012 I hope you haven't texted her! You've made it through to 41 days of NC. Keep it up! I don't see a reason to break it unless you are over her and indifferent to whatever response she will give. If you are still hurt by the BU, don't do it or you will lose all this progress. Let her initiate.
Regrets58 Posted August 18, 2012 Posted August 18, 2012 Stay NC unless you are strong enough(or indifferent enough!)not to care if:- She ignores you,tells you not to contact her again,tells you she has found someone else(this one is a bitch I can tell you!!!). Doesn't seem to me that you are in that place yet.As so many people here have said,if she wants you back she will walk through the gates of hell to tell you and make things right. You are setting yourself up for more heartbreak if you break NC. I broke NC,heard things I didn't want to hear.Was heart wrenching I can tell you!
Author jayy23 Posted August 18, 2012 Author Posted August 18, 2012 I hope you haven't texted her! You've made it through to 41 days of NC. Keep it up! I don't see a reason to break it unless you are over her and indifferent to whatever response she will give. If you are still hurt by the BU, don't do it or you will lose all this progress. Let her initiate. I haven't text her. I'll stay NC but I really do hope she contacts me some time soon.
Author jayy23 Posted August 18, 2012 Author Posted August 18, 2012 Am I doing the NC for the wrong reasons tho cause the only real reason I'm doing it is in the hope that she contacts me.
MyHeartTakesOver Posted August 18, 2012 Posted August 18, 2012 Am I doing the NC for the wrong reasons tho cause the only real reason I'm doing it is in the hope that she contacts me. No. You're doing it because you're moving on. You just feel the longing because the pain is fresh. She might contact you, she might not; you'll cross that bridge when you come to it, if you come to it. Let go baby.
Author jayy23 Posted August 18, 2012 Author Posted August 18, 2012 No. You're doing it because you're moving on. You just feel the longing because the pain is fresh. She might contact you, she might not; you'll cross that bridge when you come to it, if you come to it. Let go baby. But I'm not really moving on tho I'm holding on to the hope that she will come back. What if me doing NC is a bad idea because I'm letting her move on and forget me when I could be trying to get her back.
MyHeartTakesOver Posted August 18, 2012 Posted August 18, 2012 But I'm not really moving on tho I'm holding on to the hope that she will come back. What if me doing NC is a bad idea because I'm letting her move on and forget me when I could be trying to get her back. Man, if she loved you she won't forget you. If she really loves you, she won't be able to live without you. If she forgets you she's not worth your time and certainly not worth your dignity (which is what texting her will cost). She knows that the door to your heart is open but don't stand waiting in it for her. It gets better I swear to you.
Bigbopper Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 Man, if she loved you she won't forget you. If she really loves you, she won't be able to live without you. If she forgets you she's not worth your time and certainly not worth your dignity (which is what texting her will cost). She knows that the door to your heart is open but don't stand waiting in it for her. It gets better I swear to you. Im in the same boat so can someone please give me some advice? My situation is slightly different in that I didnt give my gf the space she needed, and backed her into a corner. She asked for space, I refused and hassled her. In the end, she asked me to go to my parents for a bit (we live together), and I am on day 6 of NC and am heart broken. I cry every morning, I dream about her every night, and all day im checking my phone/fb for a sign that she is getting close to making contact with me. She is also pregnant with my baby, and was going through a rough time, which I made worse. I was very selfish, and in the 6 days I have been away from her, I have started counselling, had some amazing advice from friends, and see the whole thing differently, BUT I need that chance to show her this! She has not once said "collect your stuff, its over etc", she has just said "I need space to clear my head". Do I continue NC or break it at day 7? Next week we have lots of things booked (and paid for) including hosp appointments.... Its hard to get my head round these facts: 3 weeks ago she said she wanted to be my wife, 2 weeks ago we bagn discussing our future as parents, 1 week ago we had a bust up and she left, and now I have nothing. :-( Thanks
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