lovejoy41 Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 (edited) I just have a question. I don't intend to break contact but wonder if I've already done that. I haven't had contact with my ex fwb since 7/26. He texted me on 8/3, I didn't respond. However, I have his number on restriction in my phone. Meaning that if his name and number is not listed in my phone& if he calls it would send him straight to my v/m. I did this to make it easier on me regarding the NC rule I implemented. Therefore if I don't see him calling I don't have to deal with whether I should or shouldn't answer. However my phone does have a "blocked calls" tab so that I can check to see calls that were blocked if I wish. Well, last tuesday when I got home from work I checked my blocked calls. There was a local number that I didn't recognize there and they didn't leave a v/m. I know that it was a cell because I called it back from my home phone but restricted my number& it gave me the automated v/m you get when someone sets their cell v/m that way. I know that I may be over thinking it or maybe even a little paranoid about it being him but I got really curious. And you know how it is when you're in that "they'll contact me again phase". Especially with friends telling you that they will too. HA! It could've been a wrong number but I don't get local wrong numbers in my block at all. It's usually debt collectors or a local sales call. I've called three times from diff numbers even my work number and it still sends me to their v/m and they didn't even try calling my work number or cell number back. I think it's someone that I know. They called at 5:08 tues, and I get off at 5. So they knew what time I get off. I'm beginning to wonder if this might've been my fwb calling from another number or someone's phone he used to see if he could get through and maybe whoever this is has restriction on their phone as well. But I highly doubt it because it rung like 4 or 5 times before it went to v/m not like my phone when it only rings once with restriction on. The broken NC question comes with the fact that after this happened I called my ex fwb number 2 days later just to see if he still had the same number. I wanted to be sure it wasn't him with a new number that had called my phone Tues. I called from my home phone number with the restriction on so he wouldn't know it was me. It rung like 1/2 of a ring and I quickly hung up. So he hadn't answered or anything. I had the info that I needed as far as verifying that it wasn't a new number that he had obtained and was calling me from that day. Would anyone consider this breaking NC? I didn't talk. I had hung up before even a second ring and my intention definitely was NOT to make contact. I'm just asking because its kinda bothering me that I did call & especially now that I know that it wasn't his number that had been changed. Help please! Edited August 17, 2012 by lovejoy41
Author lovejoy41 Posted August 17, 2012 Author Posted August 17, 2012 I got a call on my blocked calls list earlier this week. I called it back. It went to voicemail. I thought that it might've been my ex calling from another number since his number has been blocked on my cell phone. I tried calling the number back from different numbers including my work number in hopes of finding out who it was. As I said I may have been overthinking a simple wrong number call, but suspected that it was the ex trying to call from a different number or that he'd had his number changed. I called his number a few days later to see if it still worked and it did. He did not know that it was me because I blocked my home number and quickly hung up before he could answer. I was just wondering if this would be considered as breaking NC? I was feeling like I had broken it eventhough he didn't answer. Not my intent, I guess I just got too curious about that unknown call. Make sense?
Drseussgrrl Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 I think you're overthinking this. Clearly you want to know if he's contacting you, which I understand - you're curious. But for your own self-preservation you have chosen NOT to see when he tries, so essentially you're backtracking by calling this unknown number. I know it's hard - but it's really simple. Just don't do anything. 1
Author lovejoy41 Posted August 17, 2012 Author Posted August 17, 2012 Now you know what Drseussgirl, you're right. It probably was a wrong number or something. After all my phone is set up this way for all calls, not just him. I used to get a lot of sales calls and just got fed up which is why I put that block on anyway. After I deleted his number from my contacts his number became a part of that block as well. It's almost like I'm contradicting myself. It kinda defeats the whole purpose of me blocking him if I'm going to respond to every unknown call that shows up on my blocked calls list. I didn't even realize this. Man, it sure helps to have another ear in on something like this. This is just another part of the healing process I guess with wanting to know if he's contacted me. Heck, I don't even know why I want to know because it's not like I'm going to respond back or talk to him. Thanks for your comment
Drseussgrrl Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 No sweat. You're doing good. Just keep plugging along. It gets easier, I promise. Just remember that the sitch was no good for you and you know what? You don't have time for sh*t that's no good for you. 1
Author lovejoy41 Posted August 17, 2012 Author Posted August 17, 2012 (edited) Thank you & AMEN to that!! I'm so used to douche bags in my past who wronged me reaching out and even coming to my door as soon as I've gotten over them or darn near gotten over them. It's almost as if I'm expecting him to do that crap too but thinking like that is not truly letting go. Trust me, I'm getting it now! Fact of the matter is, I'm not going to set myself up for that to happen by even thinking it. It's mind over matter, simply switching up my thoughts. I can imagine that in time it won't even matter whether or not I hear from his no-good a**! LOL Edited August 17, 2012 by lovejoy41
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