ellllllarose Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 I have everything of his and everything he gave me in the corner of my room and I'm iffy on if I should give it back yet or not. How long should I wait? We broke up four days ago, haven't talked since. I want to make a "we're over, and this is it." statement. When should I drop it all off on his doorstep? Should I leave a note with it? Or should I remain silent and pretend I don't care. I really do miss him..
carhill Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 It's normal to miss him. That's emotional attachment. As far as 'stuff', what he gave you is yours to keep/sell/throw away/gift as you see fit. You can arrange an appointment for him to come by and get his stuff. If he poses no danger, do it alone. If worried about your safety, arrange for a trusted neutral party to be there instead of yourself. Either way, it's his responsibility to get his stuff, unless he proactively makes other arrangements agreeable to you. People often use 'stuff' as tools of staying connected/in someone else's life. Up to you if you wish to walk that path. My exW taught me the value of quick, clean and business-like. It works. Good luck.
Author ellllllarose Posted August 17, 2012 Author Posted August 17, 2012 It's normal to miss him. That's emotional attachment. As far as 'stuff', what he gave you is yours to keep/sell/throw away/gift as you see fit. You can arrange an appointment for him to come by and get his stuff. If he poses no danger, do it alone. If worried about your safety, arrange for a trusted neutral party to be there instead of yourself. Either way, it's his responsibility to get his stuff, unless he proactively makes other arrangements agreeable to you. People often use 'stuff' as tools of staying connected/in someone else's life. Up to you if you wish to walk that path. My exW taught me the value of quick, clean and business-like. It works. Good luck. what if I want my stuff back, but he won't give it back? & what if he doesn't even answer me, or care. ahhaha.
cheekysmiles Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 put all the gifts he's given you personally in a box and tuck it away. that or burn it if you're bitter in terms of his belongings, store it somewhere. it might be too soon for him to contact you and exchange things
carhill Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 what if I want my stuff back, but he won't give it back? & what if he doesn't even answer me, or care. ahhaha. The same thing you do if a vendor doesn't provide a service they agreed to or a customer doesn't pay you. You keep bothering them until they do, in a business-like manner. I doubt he has anything worth suing over, so you get to decide what value your 'stuff' has. Myself, I looked at that equation and saw the 'stuff' as a bargain basement payment to end an unhealthy association. I hope you never get divorced, as I did; 'stuff' takes on a completely different meaning then. As long as the respective 'stuff' isn't essential to health or safety, just leave the whole subject alone for awhile. Let things cool off emotionally and see where it ends up. In the big scheme of things, 'stuff' isn't all that important, though right now it's a trigger emotionally. Up to you as to how you process that. You have choices.
Recommended Posts