MissJolie Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 Hey Guys and Gals~ I want to get him something really special for his upcoming birthday. It's going to be a b-day and xmas gift. (there's a month in between them) What I want to get him costs quite a bit, in the 2 grand range....that part doesn't bother me, since I know its something he has always wanted (well atleast for the last 4 yrs anyway since he's taken up the hobby. We have know eachother for like 10 yrs, we have been "together" for like 7 months.). I know this would make him happy, and that's the reason why I want to do this for him. However, he is a VERY proud person. He is the type that likes to pay for every meal etc. He is shy about people doing nice things for him as well it seems. His last 2 realtionships were not that great, he was dragged through the mud. He's leary that I am going to hurt him even now. He's the type to get close then pull away. But I understand where he's coming from so I try to be as understanding as I can be. I love this guy. His happiness is top priority for me. He's never really had anyone to take interest and really listen when it comes to things that he really wants/likes. I'd like to show him, that for a change someone is listening. I don't expect something fancy in return, or for it to some how deepen the relationship...I am happy with things....all I want to do is something great for him. I understand this is a delicate situation I will have here, concerning the pride factor etc. How can I just do this for him without him thinking too much of it? And if I do get it, how should I present it to him? Link to post Share on other sites
Fayebelle Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 And if I do get it, how should I present it to him? Get it -wrap it- and give it to him 1st thing in the a.m. so he can think of it all day. Pride be damned- you know he'll like it and that's what birthdays are for. If he gives you any lip- tell him to come on LS and take it up w/me. I'm tougher than I seem. Link to post Share on other sites
miz_barby Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 I think it will be wonderful for you to get him something that he really wants. It is nice since he isn't "expecting" it! I think it would make him happy and show him that you really do listen. I agree to present it early in the AM so he'll be suprised and thinking about it all day! Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 I think go for it. I have an expression that i live by and it's "Earn your wings everyday" Which means do something nice for someone everyday even if it is as small as a smile or as big as a $2000.00 dollar gift. If you know it will make him happy then do it. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 $2,000 is way too much to spend after 7 months of dating--I don't care how long you've known him. Find something cheaper! Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 Yeah but she said money is not an option so its ok. Link to post Share on other sites
hurricane495 Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 I dont really see the problem if you 2 are in love then theres nothing wrong with it. I have always been the one for giving gifts not receiving I like to make people happy. Once my (Now Ex-Wife) Bought me flowers and a watch not really expensive but she knew that id like it and I loved it Price doesnt matter but I believe Happiness does. Link to post Share on other sites
ScottBW Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 Well, if they go there seperate ways, she can always break it, Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 I say don't do it! If he's the type of man to want to pay all your dinners, than what a better reason you wish for? Get him something that means something to you, or to the two of you. I think if he's big enough to take care of himself. So just allow him this freedom. I think it would be a proof of respect Not to buy him what he wants most, because you know and trust that he's strong enough to get it himself. Sooner or later. Presents are never about the money, but always about the meaning! It's up to you to decide on which meaning to give your gift! Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 I don't think this has anything to do with his freedom. Some people refuse to treat themselves to things they want. If she can easily afford it and their seven-year friendship means a lot to her, why not? However, I'd caution, MissJolie, that if he's said before that gifts bother or embarrass him, you might want to rethink. For some reason, some people are made genuinely extremely uncomfortable by such gestures. Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 She said about her bf: I understand this is a delicate situation I will have here, concerning the pride factor etc. So your point Some people refuse to treat themselves to things they want is pure speculation. Are you trying to help her here or are you trying to make up for arguments in the favour of your pov? Link to post Share on other sites
Spastic_Gramps Posted July 17, 2004 Share Posted July 17, 2004 This is easy. If it is not a financial burden to you (at all). And it is something that would make him happy and surprise him. GET IT. The amount of money is relative. You can't say >7 month not more than X amount of money. If he will love it then get it for him. Pride only runs so deep. Only a crazy person would resent a gift from their loved oned cause of price. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted July 17, 2004 Share Posted July 17, 2004 Are you trying to help her here or are you trying to make up for arguments in the favour of your pov? She said, quite clearly, something he has always wanted (well atleast for the last 4 yrs anyway since he's taken up the hobby. Presumably, the guy could get it for himself and just hasn't. She also said: He's never really had anyone to take interest and really listen when it comes to things that he really wants/likes. I'd like to show him, that for a change someone is listening. And I am all for people showing that they listen to the people they care about. Link to post Share on other sites
epiphone Posted July 17, 2004 Share Posted July 17, 2004 absolutely do it, that would be such a great present 1) his loved one listened and loves him enough to know exactly what he wants 2) he gets whatever hes been wanting 3) you get the feeling that you made his day/birthday one of the best hes had win win win situation Link to post Share on other sites
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