PepperPotts Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 My boyfriend and I are a quarter of the way through a mandatory year of LDR (he was a year ahead of me in school and home is on the other side of the country). It's been stressful the whole time because of our work and school commitments (though in general we have a great relationship), but recently it's gotten a lot worse for my boyfriend. In the past three weeks he's fought with family, had his pet die suddenly, taken a very important professional test, started a new job with zero job security and a hostile work environment, and I've visited and left in the middle of it all. He has a bad home situation to deal with, and I'm 1000 miles away. I feel completely useless. We talk daily, but I feel like I can't be there for him the way he needs me to be. He's super stressed, and I don't know how to help. I've been listening and I sent cookies when his pet died, but without being physically there I don't know what else to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Ami1uwant Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 Why did he move back home to start his career? Is the issue of fighting because of you...his parents dont approve of you? What field is he in? Can you find a job closer to you? Did you guys talk about this very thing of after gradution of where you guys would go? How does where he is affect your career prospects?
Author PepperPotts Posted August 17, 2012 Author Posted August 17, 2012 Why did he move back home to start his career? Is the issue of fighting because of you...his parents dont approve of you? What field is he in? Can you find a job closer to you? Did you guys talk about this very thing of after gradution of where you guys would go? How does where he is affect your career prospects? We aren't fighting at all-- I just am at a loss as to how to best support him through this stress. We've always known he would move home after school. We have to be licensed by a state to work in it, so he had to go home to start working. I am fine with it and will join him in May. Our families like both of us. We have a timeline, rules, and a visitation/communication plan. The issue isn't the relationship-- I'm looking for ideas on how to support him when I can't be physically there for him.
justwhoiam Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 1) Why did you leave in the middle of your visit? 2) Ideas about how to release his stress: buy some back/feet massages for him (he will have 40 to 60 minutes to himself for some relax)send him something of you, a card, a book, whatever, with your smell on itsend him ecards with morning greetings to put a smile on his face, there are some e-cards with musicfor your next visit, stay in some hotel for 2 or 3 days, where he will just sleep and have some relax/fun time with you only and forget about all his problems, at least for a while, and away from his family Good luck!
Author PepperPotts Posted August 18, 2012 Author Posted August 18, 2012 Thanks for your suggestions! And I poorly phrased that-- I meant that I had to leave in the middle of the stress, not the middle of my scheduled visit (which i actually managed to extend). My visit fell between the test and the first day at his new job. I didn't leave early-- I just meant I had to leave while he was still going through stress.
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