brighthotrain Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 I have started to write a blog to help me get through this mess. Its day 17 of our break up, we tried to be friends but he went off with some girl 6 days after I left. We lived together for 3 years. I have not replied to his texts/calls/emails since Sat. The email confirmed he is with her and ended with 'love always' the arsehole. Anyway I was hoping some of you would read my blog and see if I am crazy or just like everyone else in this situation brighthotrain.tumblr.com and the password is 'love' - what was I thinking!? I saw another girl had wrote a blog and it helped me reading hers. Felt like I could relate to her. If you guys could read it and let me know if im a monster and deserved to be dumped or if im just a mess I'd appreciate it!!
nevadagirl Posted August 18, 2012 Posted August 18, 2012 You don't sound crazy. But if you don't want contact why are you remaining in contact with him? It's completely selfish and insensitive for him to parade this new girl around your friends. Keeping a journal is a good idea. I kept one on my laptop for months and I didn't even start it until 2 months after the break-up. I go back and read it sometimes. It is interesting to read my clearly distressed words...and those entries that practically spiraled into madness...and feel nothing. You will be okay. Cut that guy out now. He thinks he has a right to talk to you whenever and however about whatever he wants and he doesn't. "I don't know how this is supposed to work. Am I going backwards or forwards? I seem to need to write more often now. I'm getting worse. I know it's different this time. But god it hurts. Where are you? What are you doing? Do you miss me? Do you hurt like this? Are you fine? Is there someone else so soon? Was there already someone else before we ended again? I'm tired of crying every night. Tired of checking my email religiously hoping you emailed me again. Screw you for doing that. Screw you for wanting to be friends so soon. Screw you for being okay with that. Screw you for not hurting like me. Can't do my ****ing homework. PAY ATTENTION PAY ATTENTION JUST PJIOASDF;K;JKLASDF PAY ATTENtion. Please pay attention. Go kickboxing. Stop eating. Stop crying. Push through it. I can push through it. Push past the hurt and msising him. Push past the fear of him hurting you again. Push past your desire for him. Push past him. Then leave him forever. He won't be coming back this time. Push past wanting him to. Push past it push past it. It doesn't matter if he wins the race. It doesn't matter OK just cross the goddamn finish line this time ok. It's scary I know it's scary. I'm so tired. Please just read that article. Write the papers. Don't forget to do the ****ing quizzes. PAY ATTENTION. PUSH PAST IT." - October 4 2011
Author brighthotrain Posted August 19, 2012 Author Posted August 19, 2012 Thanks It is really helping. I didnt know about the new girl until this time last week. I refused to take his calls and have ignored his emails and texts since then. I sent him a solicitor style letter detailing our account details etc to make sure he pays the bills but thats it. I feel like your words could f been mine from the journal entry. I hate my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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