pfooconfused Posted July 15, 2004 Posted July 15, 2004 Ok so My girlfriend and I broke up few weeks ago. Namely because I was complacent in our realtionshsip and never really opened up. When she threw the curve ball, only cause i thought everything was smooth as butter, I was actually in shock. I explained why i never opened up and was afraid to. The thing is she is a student from overseas studying here in the US. Initially, it was supposed to be 6 months then she started to extend her stay. I figured why spoil a good thing and kept it status quo until recently. This is the thing, she says she still wants to see me but not as boyfriend/girlfriend. I opened up to her more, thinking this would help things. And now that I had a good length seriously thinking of this relationship, I really want this to work. I talked to her about the fact that we are hanging out even more, mentally getting more intimate, etc.... She claims that she does want to focus on her studies and she doesn't know the future, she knows she is being selfish. Also the fact that she mentioned that if we were back in her country, we would definitely be back together. What I am confused about is my attitude towards her is I think, i do love her. I cannot be selfish and hope that she would stay. I know the limitations to this relationship. But deep inside I want that fairytale love story (aargh I can't believe I just said that). Now that I have opened up to her, I feel really vulnerable. She understands that and she knows she has the upper hand. She also knows that she does not want to take advantage of me. We are going to Hawaii together, I think i know how to handle this. But I could use some feedback. Age difference doesn't really help either. I am 33 she is 24.
StartingAgain Posted July 15, 2004 Posted July 15, 2004 Why does opening up to the woman you love make you vulnerable? It should be liberating. She has the upper hand? What, are the two of you in some sort of competition? That statement says that one or the other of you don't understand what a loving relationship is all about. It isn't about getting the upper hand at all. She says she needs space for her studies and you have to give it to her. She also has said something that leads me to believe that she has no intention of emmigrating to whatever country you live in. So unless you are willing to emmigrate to her country, the two of you don't really have a future and she seems smart enough to understand this. Just let things roll along naturally for awhile and the two of you enjoy each other's company.
jw32802 Posted July 15, 2004 Posted July 15, 2004 Why is it that you didt open up to her while you were together?
Author pfooconfused Posted July 16, 2004 Author Posted July 16, 2004 I didn't open about everything. Literally
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