hopefullyy Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 (edited) Hi, I'm 18 years old and have been in an on and off relationship with the same boy for nearly 4 years now. He's 21. When he went to college, he broke it off with me but we remained friends and every holiday he would come back home and pick things back up with me and then he would either give me reason to cut off all communication with him, or he would break up with me. He was always more experienced than I, and I never wanted to be physically involved unless i was in a committed relationship. However, one summer things went further than kissing and I felt like he pressured me into it. In the past i had slapped him for calling me names because i "would never do anything" and i felt to disrespected... he slapped me back. Most recently, he cheated on me in the winter holidays of 2011, but i was unaware if it was for sure. so i tried to talk to him... he said it was over because i am a negative person. no, i just cannot tolerate bull**** and i am not stupid. he went on to date a new girl for a few months... then told her they couldnt talk anymore because he wanted me back. He had apologized to me while still dating her, and i wish i had ignored him or told him not to disrespect me by coming back to me with a new girl in toe. He dumped her and we ended up talking. However, inside, i felt a though i wanted my senior year of highschool to myself and move on and go to college. However, we spent the summer together. Although i wanted to take it slow, not be intimate and figure out if i could give it a fresh start, we ended up dating and hooking up more than we discussed our problems. Partially because i just wanted to have fun and thought that i didnt have to love him. but if he finally loved me hw couldnt hurt me again. Eventually, we got in a fight because he was being verbally abusive and disrespected me infront of his friends, allowing them to disrespect me too. I tried to talk to him but he ignored me so i walked off, only for him to tell me that all i do is walk off when i have a problem and i never try to discuss anything. on the way home, he was screaming at me to shut up, and i slapped his arm. He hit me in my chest. I sat in the car for an hour and cried... i never said it was over because in my opinion i wasnt official with him and wasnt giving him a real chance anyways. the next day he told me we were done because i cause too much drama, but he loved me and respected me and wanted to be my friend. i felt bad simply because i wanted to end it days before and just go to college. i wanted to have a great summer and leave him sobbing at home. i didnt do justice to myself. I dont know how to get over this... i feel like i have no friends and im going to college, a new place in less than a week. He says he did nothing wrong... but that we cant work out so i should move on. I told him its over and i dont want a relationship, friendship or for him to be in my life. I feel weak, as if i gave him the upperhand and as if i am a victim. However, i dont want to spend a year getting over him and wasting my life.. i want to go out and make new friends and show him he cant get me down...but i feel like i want to disappear and be alone. I feel as though our mutual friends always support him, leaving me looking like a bitch. I just wish i had some support and that people would recognize how badly he treated me. Can somebody please share some wisdom with me? Edited August 17, 2012 by hopefullyy
pteromom Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 I dont know how to get over this... i feel like i have no friends and im going to college, a new place in less than a week. Can somebody please share some wisdom with me? You are really lucky, because your answer is being handed to you on a silver platter. You are going to college - a new place - in less than a week. You will be able to start over. You will be able to make friends. You will be able to stay away from a guy who wasn't right for you. You will be able to tell your story in your voice, and nobody will take his side because they don't know him. You will be able to walk away from your mutual friends who support him over you. Take a deep breath and jump into this golden opportunity for a new life with both feet, and leave this loser guy and loser friends behind. When you go to college, be picky about who you choose as friends. Make sure they are caring, kind, and supportive people. Then when you date another guy who ends up being a loser (because you will - we all go through a bunch of them), you'll have great friends who will hold your hand through the hurt.
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