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New here, Passive Aggressive Husband


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Posted

I'm 42, he's 41.

We've only been married for 3 years, but together longer.

 

We have separated twice. Lots of circumstances have come our way, and we are trying, hard, to work through them.

 

I had 3 miscarriages. He had two job losses. He was drinking a lot, and my health was an issue for many months. We've gone to counselling, together and alone. It was during counselling that it came to MY attention and his that he exhibits many traits of Passive Aggressive.

 

When I first realised this I left again for a short period of time. Here I thought he was just depressed, and he would get better. Now, I'm not sure.

 

I still kinda rail against the label. Everyone has those tendencies. And I'm not sure I want to live with this for the rest of my life. Its a LOT of work to keep on top of what he does and re-direct it.

 

I will say that I am secure in my self esteem. Lots of work went into that. I have firm boundaries and I speak up! No, I don't "let" him get away with stuff. But it's disappointing to say the least, to see the bad behavior come out.

 

Anyone else have experience with this? Can this get better?

Guess I'm just kinda wanting to vent to someone.... and know I'm not alone!

Posted

I had a girlfriend that was passive aggressive. It was very difficult. It is like trying to nail jello to a wall.

 

We eventually broke up when I found out she was cheating. I vowed I would never, never ever, date someone that was passive aggressive. You just never knew what you were being "punished" for. Getting them to open up about the real issues was allways such a chore. I never understood why it was so difficult to open up and just talk about things.

 

Good luck!

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