newmoon Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 I've been seeing my bf for about 1 year and 3 months. We work together in a small office enviornment. No one at the office knows we're a couple. A female transferred into the office about 8 months ago and from the very start she and my bf were friendly, but as of late it has gotten, in my opinion, out of hand. He spends incredible amounts of time each day talking to her and laughing with her, etc. and it's in my direct view. They are talking, but they never touch. Today he spent 2 complete hours in conversation with her (so much for getting work done at work), and I often see them having lunch together as well. He mentions her name sometimes in conversation outside of work, and I quickly just change the topic to not have to discuss her. He even told me once recently that "I could have ____ if I wanted, she's an easy target." My bf isn't classically attractive and I am - we're a complete mismatch, which is why we can easily hide it from coworkers. I look like a model - 5'10, rail thin, very pretty, and he is about 5'8, average to below average in looks. And this girl is short, extremely overweight like maybe Roseanne Barr back in the day, and she has a 4-year relationship with a boyfriend. She is also from a different culture. It seems like there is a lot of reasons why he shouldn't want to be interested in her, but I get the sense that he really is. He has told me before that he doesn't believe one woman can satisfy a man both physically and emotionally. And he says I am not fat enough, so I wonder if he has fantasties about big women. Anyhow, maybe he is getting emotional fulfillment from her?? I hate to act jealous about this because, sadly, he is the type to do it more if I mention it, and with how I look compared to her it would seem really stupid to be jealous. So, I really don't want to say anything, but I'm thinking of maybe asking him for a break so I can be alone and sort out my thoughts. What do you all suggest? What to do in this type of situation?? What do you see going on here that maybe I don't? Thanks.
KraftDinner Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 Looks aside, he does not sound like a catch. Saying no one woman could satisfy a man? Whether that's true is irrelevant...what is his motivation for telling you? Probably to keep you in your place, as it were. Possibly the same reason he flirts with others in front of you and makes comments about your body. Maybe he's super insecure, esp if what you say is true about you being a lot hotter than him. Either way, not cool.
GLDheart Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 If his behavior bothers you tell him: "Honey, I'm starting to feel a bit weird with all the time you spend with her. If I start to feel like I come second I may start to re-evaluate this relationship.... Be friends with whoever you want. I'm just saying it's getting weird."
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