Sox Man Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 So i started dating a newly divorced woman. We have been going out casually for several months, but was getting mixed signals and became very confused. One moment she was all about me, the next, she could care less. We had one "night of passion", and things went cold. A few weeks later she told me" I'm not your girlfriend and you're not my boyfriend, I need my space." So i went one week with no contact for a whole week, and she freaked out, and was all over me and even asked me out. We went out and I kept things light, and we had a good time. No kissing, nothing, which was ok. The next week, thanks to a glitch on Facebook we had both thought we had blocked each other, and she confronted me about it. I was out with friends and didn't respond immediately, and she wasn't happy. Her response via text was:"1. You're not my FB friend. 2. You're not responding to her text. So out of frustration over things, I suggested we stop seeing each other outside of work. She wasn't up for that, and she asked me out again. So, we went out to a minor leagues baseball game about an hour away. We had dinner before, had a great time during the game and on the way home we listened to 80's music with the windows down, singing at the top of our lungs. we went back to her place and played beer pong in her kitchen, and then we went to the couch and she looks at me and says; " Can I kiss you?" I said yes and we kissed and i spent the night. There was no sex, no messing around, just cuddling, kissing and talking. The next morning I left and she walked me to her door and pulled me in for another kiss. During our conversation, she had told me about some new job offers, some out of state. My problem is this. I am so in love with her, and understand that she scared to death after her divorce. She told me so herself. If she were to move, I would be heartbroken. I've tried in the past to distance myself from her to guard my heart, and she always comes running to me. What should I do guys? I want to be with her and I know she feels the same way. How do help her get over her fears and insecurities?
soccerrprp Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Wow, SM, there is so much uncertainty with her. I just see troubles beyond what you are going through now. She's even considering jobs outside of the state! Until she knows what she wants and is in a stable place, this will likely be a roller-coaster experience. Anyone member of a potential relationship that is not reasonably certain of where they stand will be a pot full of emotional stew. Enjoy what time(s) you have together, but try, try not to get too attached. Let her know that it's important to you that you know that she will be giving you a chance, otherwise, it really is unfair or her to string you along... ...don't know if i've helped. Good luck. 1
Forever Learning Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 I agree. This woman is a roller coaster right now. Getting attached would be a bad idea.
mortensorchid Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 I think so as well. I have seen two reactions out of those who are divorced : they either jump into the next thing (and the next and the next and the next, etc.) very quickly, or they are so stung by their divorce that they decide not to be with anyone else. Permanently? Maybe, but at least not for a long time. This woman is too hurt and fresh out of her divorce to be with you or anyone else at this point. You have to move on before she hurts you so bad as well.
Author Sox Man Posted August 19, 2012 Author Posted August 19, 2012 That's all fine and well, but how do I move on? She works with me, but we don't see each other that much while we're there. I wish there was some sort of switch I could just turn off. Guys, she's become my best friend, I love her. She's my running buddy, my movie girl, etc. If I tell her we shouldn't see each other anymore, it would break her heart.
AlexCross Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 She sounds bi-polar with her highs and lows. I think you need to move on, as hurtful as that maybe to you.
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