delboy21 Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Hi My husband left me 3 months ago following a huge fight about him ignoring our relationship problems he then told me he loved me but was not in love with me. His leaving was a massive shock after 15 years together, he literally took everything he owned from the house. For a month or two i begged and pleaded and we saw eachother a little but always ended with him telling me i was pushing him and he wasnt ready. Anyway to cut a long story short i have done everything I should NOT do following a split, ive called harrrassed,sent abusive texts,broke things including driving into the back of his car, called his family his friends, begged pleaded, threatened my life, accused him of cheating. The feeling of panic and rage at his abandonment has been so overwhelming that ive been unable to control my behaviour to the point i feel im close to a nervouse breakdown. There have been times when i have begged my family to section me where i have literally gone crazy with despair and rage and harrased my ex so much im suprised he hasnt called the police. Each time my husband would say he understood why i was behaving this way, he was sorry that he hurt me but he was scared to come back. since the last outburst he has cut all ties wont contact me wont come to the house wont communicate with me at all. Ironically i have started to retrace the past retrace the words/behaviour said before and after the seperation and can see how I HURT Him by belittleing him for losing his job, not contributing, and how i would be better off without him. then reinforcing the beliefs he has about me after the sepration by not respecting his need for space, by not acknowledging the abuse i had given him for months before he left just thinking about myself and my pain. I want to apologise i want him to believe im sincere i will go to anger managment whatever it takes to show him that i recognise my part before and after he left - but is it too late? Anyway i io couldnt think straightHis responce is your behaviour and temper are what pushed you away from you in the first place,.
pteromom Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Going by what you've read, I would say it is too late. You've shown yourself as unstable and emotional and that has likely done nothing but reaffirm his decision to leave. If you believe you were abusive and need anger management class, I would pursue that. Not in order to win him back, but to help yourself. Whether you end up back with him or not, you need to learn to let go of abusive behaviors and learn other ways to deal with anger. It is possible that if you find help for yourself, he will see the change in you and will give it another chance. If it helps motivate you to get help, I would hang onto that hope for now. Find yourself a counselor. Find yourself a support group. Read books. Read internet forums. Focus on making yourself healthier. And see what happens.
Author delboy21 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 I agree i think its too late. Im rational in my normal life just couldnt see or didnt want to acknowledge my part in our marriage problems and so behaved desperatly and stupidly. I have actualy felt better recently because im taking responsibility and remorseful for the pain i have caused. the biggest regret i have is not about losing the marriage becuase it takes two and we are both to blame to different extents for that but I will never get the chance to ask for forgivness.
pteromom Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 I will never get the chance to ask for forgivness. You don't know that.
Recommended Posts