sam2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 (edited) Well I've had a bit of a break down today. I've basically realized my ex doesn't want to talk to me anymore. Without her in my life I have absolutely nothing. No friends, no life, nothing. I've just walked around my apartment wanting to smash everything (I didn't). I can't get over her. She was my only real friend. Only person I talked to. Up to meeting her I had nobody, was and still am an almost recluse. I don't want anything else but to be with her. Now I know she is moving on. I can't begin to. I'm left back to my sad loner life with a heart full of memories of being with her. I trying so hard not to contact her, knowing it will only delay the inevitable. I can't meet new people. Have nothing to keep myself busy. Just thinking of her. Knowing she is doing things that before she would immediately talk to me about. Now its silence. Just don't know what to do. Just so unhappy and lonely. Edited August 16, 2012 by sam2012
youngnlove89 Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Well I've had a bit of a break down today. I've basically realized my ex doesn't want to talk to me anymore. Without her in my life I have absolutely nothing. No friends, no life, nothing. I've just walked around my apartment wanting to smash everything (I didn't). I can't get over her. She was my only real friend. Only person I talked to. Up to meeting her I had nobody, was and still am an almost recluse. I don't want anything else but to be with her. Now I know she is moving on. I can't begin to. I'm left back to my sad loner life with a heart full of memories of being with her. I trying so hard not to contact her, knowing it will only delay the inevitable. I can't meet new people. Have nothing to keep myself busy. Just thinking of her. Knowing she is doing things that before she would immediately talk to me about. Now its silence. Just don't know what to do. Just so unhappy and lonely. Listen, you are acting like my ex-bf and this is what made me p!!ssed off. You are the one who told her she wasn't the one for you. You left her. Get over it. Now you need to move on. Or just take her back and put her through this hell hole all over again! Er, why can't you make up your mind what you want. Do you want her or not?! is she the one or not?! sorry, this anger is mainly directed towards my ex because he does the same thing. I'm trying to better understand why you are so indecisive. You miss her when she is gone, but when you are with her you are so sure she isn't the one. what's going on??
Vikki_26 Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 (edited) Sorry to hear this Sam, I feel just the same , he and his family were my life. Just give it time. I feel a little bit stronger since the split. Good days bad days. Edited August 16, 2012 by Vikki_26
Author sam2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 Listen, you are acting like my ex-bf and this is what made me p!!ssed off. You are the one who told her she wasn't the one for you. You left her. Get over it. Now you need to move on. Or just take her back and put her through this hell hole all over again! Er, why can't you make up your mind what you want. Do you want her or not?! is she the one or not?! sorry, this anger is mainly directed towards my ex because he does the same thing. I'm trying to better understand why you are so indecisive. You miss her when she is gone, but when you are with her you are so sure she isn't the one. what's going on?? Well she's decided it's over not me. Yesterday I posted that yes she probably isn't right for me etc but I had idealized her. Just today I can't deal with it. I'm still seeing her through the rose tinted specs, the idealized version. The one girl who ever showed an interest.
TaraMaiden Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Well I've had a bit of a break down today. I've basically realized my ex doesn't want to talk to me anymore. you might like to look upon this as a break-through, rather than a break down..... this is point one: The beginning, the first step, the road to recovery, the path to healing. It starts here. Without her in my life I have absolutely nothing. No friends, no life, nothing. wrong..... I've just walked around my apartment wanting to smash everything (I didn't). Interesting.... Why not? It happens, a lot in fact. What actually stopped you? think carefully before answering this... I can't get over her. She was my only real friend. Only person I talked to. Up to meeting her I had nobody, was and still am an almost recluse. I don't want anything else but to be with her. OK....be logical. You know, sadly, that this isn't going to happen, so.... what can you do to remedy this? What moves can you take to find an alternative? Now I know she is moving on. I can't begin to. I'm left back to my sad loner life with a heart full of memories of being with her. Be careful with 'memories'.... we have a tendency to elaborate the picture, create scenarios, add different endings and it snowballs into one long, big depressing 'why me' whine....Memories can be wonderful - but the stories we weave around them, can cripple us and set us back for months.... I trying so hard not to contact her, knowing it will only delay the inevitable. Yech... sorry, have to say it....' do or do not - there is No try'.... just don't do it. you'll set yourself a hell of a long way back if you do.... I can't meet new people. Have nothing to keep myself busy. Just thinking of her. Knowing she is doing things that before she would immediately talk to me about. Now its silence. you have here, at your fingertips, literally the best and most empathetic sounding-board you could wish for. We're here. We're here. We're here. Take full advantage - and use your broken heart to help other broken hearts, mend. Just don't know what to do. Just so unhappy and lonely. i know. It IS lonely. But you're not alone. don't go anywhere - stay and talk, vent, rant, rave and get it out of your system. But stay No Contact. Your first steps to living life again - start here. 2
durentu Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Well, you'll get tired of self pity at some point and discover that you can do something about it. Only way to see the light at the end of the tunnel is to turn around. yes, it is that simple, but your mind won't let you believe it. 1
youngnlove89 Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Well she's decided it's over not me. Yesterday I posted that yes she probably isn't right for me etc but I had idealized her. Just today I can't deal with it. I'm still seeing her through the rose tinted specs, the idealized version. The one girl who ever showed an interest. But you told us that she isn't the one and you know it! So why do you miss her so much? I think you miss the comfort and familiarness of it. She decided it was over probably the same reason I decided it was over with my ex (i broke up with him): because she knew your true feelings. She knew she wasn't the one for you. And her heart couldn't bear that. She knew she had to move on so she can find someone who is the one. Although, she wanted it to be you. You couldn't give her that.
Author sam2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 you might like to look upon this as a break-through, rather than a break down..... this is point one: The beginning, the first step, the road to recovery, the path to healing. It starts here. wrong..... Interesting.... Why not? It happens, a lot in fact. What actually stopped you? think carefully before answering this... OK....be logical. You know, sadly, that this isn't going to happen, so.... what can you do to remedy this? What moves can you take to find an alternative? Be careful with 'memories'.... we have a tendency to elaborate the picture, create scenarios, add different endings and it snowballs into one long, big depressing 'why me' whine....Memories can be wonderful - but the stories we weave around them, can cripple us and set us back for months.... Yech... sorry, have to say it....' do or do not - there is No try'.... just don't do it. you'll set yourself a hell of a long way back if you do.... you have here, at your fingertips, literally the best and most empathetic sounding-board you could wish for. We're here. We're here. We're here. Take full advantage - and use your broken heart to help other broken hearts, mend. i know. It IS lonely. But you're not alone. don't go anywhere - stay and talk, vent, rant, rave and get it out of your system. But stay No Contact. Your first steps to living life again - start here. Hi Thanks for the reply. It has calmed me down a little. I'm not sure how to split up the quote like you did so I'll do my best to make this make sense! Suppose I didn't smash anything as I know it wouldn't help and I'd just regret it. The answer I suppose is to become less of a recluse. But I just can't see myself doing that. Yeah I know the memories will be glorified, it's more the "dreams" I created in my mind of my future life with her that now won't happen that are hurting so much. I just want to contact her so bad. It just seems so conspicuous that we are not in contact. Like I said, this has calmed me a little and it's very good to know there are people here ready to help. So again thank you for that Just have nobody in real life As for living my life again, I had no real "life" to begin with. Like I said, was just a loner.
Author sam2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 But you told us that she isn't the one and you know it! So why do you miss her so much? I think you miss the comfort and familiarness of it. She decided it was over probably the same reason I decided it was over with my ex (i broke up with him): because she knew your true feelings. She knew she wasn't the one for you. And her heart couldn't bear that. She knew she had to move on so she can find someone who is the one. Although, she wanted it to be you. You couldn't give her that. I'd say that's a large part of it. Being around her made me used to being with someone, now she's gone and I'm back to being a loner. Just now with the hole in my life she has left. I did want to be with her, more than anything. I papered over the reasons we were not right simply because I wanted to be with her, again the rose tinted specs.
Author sam2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 Well, you'll get tired of self pity at some point and discover that you can do something about it. Only way to see the light at the end of the tunnel is to turn around. yes, it is that simple, but your mind won't let you believe it. How do you get your mind to believe it? Any ideas?
delboy21 Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Im going through the same emotional termoil the feeling of hopelessness. The best thing to do is ignore the temptation to call leave voicemail messages or texts. tell your friends they can contact you at work then take the ssim card out of your phone or give your phone/laptop to a friend and go cold turkey. Take time to think about what went wrong what was said and done by both of you prior to the BU. Then in a few weeks a few months (you never know she may contact you first) apologise not only to her but to yourself and you will feel better and more worthy. This is the advise i wish i was given instead i yelled blamed threatened harrassed and now i have started to reflect it may be to late. Asking for forgivness and understanding will make you feel better, will make you look at your future with or without her in a more positive light. I wish you the best of luck and please ignore the urges to contact her when she may not be ready or willing to hear from you
durentu Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 How do you get your mind to believe it? Any ideas? you become indifferent to it. You completely let it go so that you are no longer emotionally invested in any outcome of the other party. like I said before to others.. BURN THAT BRIDGE How? Fill your life with things that doesn't involve the past.
Author sam2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 you become indifferent to it. You completely let it go so that you are no longer emotionally invested in any outcome of the other party. like I said before to others.. BURN THAT BRIDGE How? Fill your life with things that doesn't involve the past. Thanks durentu. Wish I could find something that would really fill my life. Nothing ever did, was never passionate about anything before her.
alexandrashope Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 I know what you mean! I don't want to obsess but I cant help it. ive desperately been looking for distractions and advice for the past 9 days since we broke up. I read a pretty good article today, and I'm going to try the suggestions on there. I saw your post and thought it might help you too: Sheri Meyers: 'It's Over!' 10 Breakup Survival Tips to Get You Through It Some of those seem pretty hard to do, but I'm pretty much willing to try anything at this point. Anyway, good luck to you. 1
Chi townD Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Dude, what do you have an interest in. Because, if you have some kind of hobby, I can guarantee you there's a local club in your area that has people with common interests. Whether it be a cycling club, hiking club. Hell, there's even club for people with fish tanks!!!! Time to put your big boy pants on and join the world!
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