lingardx Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 That's nice of him. At least he didn't tell you he was thinking about having sex with someone else. He has your heart at best interest and knows telling you those things would not be beneficial for you. He doesn't want to hurt you. It's better not to know things sometimes. What you don't know, won't hurt you. give your view on my situation please? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/341204-my-ex-texted-me-2.html
Tree_Salmon Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Very true. It's just reality. Met you? Well if I won't be thinking of my ex, sign me up, I'll fill out the paper work! But this is ironic, but this guy I met before my current ex, just contacted me, and I always had a crush on him. I feel giddy right now, like a little girl with butterflies. Maybe this is what I will need to move on! No, dont use other people to move on. Has to be done alone. You're only going to be back here 2-3 years from now crying about him. You need to be alone and heal alone. Only then will guys like me feel comfortable being in a relationship with you. Guys can smell a lingering ex in your brain. The problem is most of them ignore it because they want ass and comfort themselves. Break the cycle now. 3
Tree_Salmon Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 (edited) never began to think about that until now. i can't begin to even imagine the hurt that will cross me if such things happen (i am still hoping i get him back) but for now he says such things aren't on his mind. time is a healer. x See what helped me was my confidence. After I left i thought to myself: "this guy wont be half as passionate and loving and sexual as me". Sure enough, 2 months later my ex is telling me she thinks of me when they have sex and then begs me to do her. Think about that. Yes, my case may be a special one but in my head I was already thinking "i'm the best she'll ever have" Now that enough time has passed I don't care who she has sex with. Can't take away the fun time we had for almost 6 years. Edited August 16, 2012 by Tree_Salmon
Author youngnlove89 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 same. people are probably sick of me, too. haha. our NC start date is the same basically. and i'm worried about the same thing. so I don't know. I don't have a good response. Well then talk to me! I'll listen to you! What's your story?
Anastar Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 I'm sorry this happened, but you'll be making a big mistake if you're going to sleep with other guys to get over your BU. You'll actually feel worse! You'll get a ego boost and after that you'll crash. The type of guy you're likely to attract now will not be a person you'll want to be with in the future. It's best to pay it forward, accept your feelings and that you love someone who was worth the pain you're experiencing...that's a good thing! He was worth it...else why would you have been in a relationship with him...correct? Sex complicates things...at least for women. Also, don't become intimate with someone else while you're hurting...it's not good. The BU will teach you coping skills...and you will need them many times over throughout your life. Think of how you'd like to be 6 months from now, and ask yourself if your current actions will take you there. Trust your gut...if it feels wrong then it is. This will train you to rely on yourself and trust yourself. Best Wishes, -A
k100danny Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 When me and my ex split i didn't straight away think of her being with someone else, when i saw a picture of her with someone esle a month later it did hit me, the thought wasnt a nice one but i do tend to be able to push it out of my mind, I think she is seeing someone now or has been and I know she has pretty much always dated or being in a relationship so it was inevitable. I think the part that hurts is it seems to make people think the person didn't care ever when the truth is they probably cared deeply but moved on and you will one day too and shouldnt feel guilty about it. as for sleeping with other people yourself I have kissed a few girls, I went out for drinks and a date with a girl i had kind of known a while and started spending a bit of time with, I knew i wasnt over my ex and i was very honest with her about not wanting anything like that. she stayed over at my house a few times and it was the strangest thing ever. I felt almost guilty, someone else was in my bed. What made things worse is in a couple of ways they are similar and little things like laying on the bed watching tv and she would watch the same shows ect just brought feelings back, the day after i was pretty much a wreck, I didn't feel i wanted to let go and didn't feel anyone would measure up or i would never feel that way about someone again which is obviously not true. we have seen each other quite a few times but havent slept with each other which im glad about. I think i could sleep with someone and not feel guilty if it was a one night stand, but as for dating and feeling that way about someone else i dont think i could do that right now, maybe i could if i met the right person but it doesn't feel that way yet. Maybe I am still not quite ready to let go or maybe i dont want to I'm not sure. I can go to a bar and see women i think are stunning and imagine what it would be like to be with them in that way but not as in a relationship. I'm currently on day 35 NC after blocking her and I actually wouldnt know what to say if she got in touch, it's almost like i cant remember how it felt to be with her, how i felt about her and i cant imagine her face or voice clearly anymore. I will hopefully be moved on again soon but letting go is hard.
barese1 Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Nearly 3 months NC and this si now the only real issue I have. My ex MUST be sleeping with someone else, I don't know but I'd bet my life savings on it. Even now I still feel sick about it, that it negates what we were, but as someone posted...they've just moved on. As for myself, I dated a few women, kissed and fooled around with a few but wasn't ready. Unfortunately for me I have been pining over my ex, who is probably all over soemone else, until it got to a point where I had to get female attention. In fact I had sex with someone else for the first time last night. I'm not sure how I feel. there were parts were the ex popped into my head and I wished it was her, but on the whole it was good. I didn't feel guilty or bad afterwards, and now 24 hours later I'm not sure how I feel. I think it helped rather than hindered but only perhaps because I'm satrting to let go. You need to be (nearly) emotionally ready to have sex with soemone else, otherwise it will just create more pain.
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