youngnlove89 Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 How do you get over the IDEA of your ex sleeping with someone else? I know it's inevitable, neither of us are going to be celibate forever. But I just hate thinking of him being with another girl. It makes me sick and weak. It makes me sad. How do you handle something that is out of your control? What can I do to not focus on that? I think this bothers me more than anything. He was mine and now he isn't. Now he will be someone else's. And then me sleeping with someone else? How am I going to feel? What if it makes me miss my ex? I don't want to compare. How do you guys get over this?
BrokenAnna Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 When we broke up I thought by sleeping with one of my friends would instantly help me move on, WRONG!! It was very emotional and just made matters worse as I felt dirty and cheap. The idea of him sleeping with other woman is very painful and it generally keeps me awake at night as I imagine him doing all those romantic things he used to do for me for someone else. I just pray that he stays single lol or turn out gay, that might ease my mind a bit
Feelin Frisky Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 If you can't "will" yourself to stop entertaining these thoughts perhaps you should seek professional help. Having a new life of your own with someone else is the ticket but how can you be ready for that if you're dwelling on this? It's unhealthy and you need to fight it--both with self-discipline and commitment to filling your life with new interests which push this old relationship into history. Good luck.
Author youngnlove89 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 Thanks. The break up is fresh, I don't think I need professional help. He told me how he will find someone else to sleep with and that's what hurt. If he never said that I'm sure I wouldn't be bothered by it. I was thinking about sleeping with someone just to see if it'd help me, but I don't want to be an easy you-know-what.
jmjacobs31 Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Good Question! I was the only girl my ex had been with so it hurts to think of him wanting to be with someone else. I just try to not even think about it. For some reason this is something I just don't think about much. I miss him tons but I dont picture him with other girls even though I know hes been out with several.
Breck Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Youngnlove89. How many new posts are you going to start!? Now I want to break up with you.
Author youngnlove89 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 Youngnlove89. How many new posts are you going to start!? Now I want to break up with you. haha. Aw, man. Another person who is tired of me! Sorry, I just have no one else to talk to. 1
Breck Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 haha. Aw, man. Another person who is tired of me! Sorry, I just have no one else to talk to. But I'll want you back 6 months from now and you can tell me to **** off!! 1
Author youngnlove89 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 But I'll want you back 6 months from now and you can tell me to **** off!! haha, can't wait.
paperboy48 Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 How do you get over the IDEA of your ex sleeping with someone else? I know it's inevitable, neither of us are going to be celibate forever. But I just hate thinking of him being with another girl. It makes me sick and weak. It makes me sad. How do you handle something that is out of your control? What can I do to not focus on that? I think this bothers me more than anything. He was mine and now he isn't. Now he will be someone else's. And then me sleeping with someone else? How am I going to feel? What if it makes me miss my ex? I don't want to compare. How do you guys get over this? This is by the the most difficult thing to swallow (no pun intended)... its an awful awful feeling to think or know your ex is being intimate with someone else...does she think he is better than me? Do o they do it more than we did? As difficult as it is, at most times when thinking about these thoughts...I try to think of the biggest thing that annoyed me about me ex which was, she is selfish, so each time the thought pops in mmy mind, I just say to myself..."Selfish Bitch" If you can't "will" yourself to stop entertaining these thoughts perhaps you should seek professional help. I did this....the counselor told me to realise....the things you shared with your ex will never be replaced by someone else...thise are things that were shared between you and your ex and no one can take that from you. Thanks. The break up is fresh, I don't think I need professional help. He told me how he will find someone else to sleep with and that's what hurt. If he never said that I'm sure I wouldn't be bothered by it. That's rough...sorry you have to go through this.
paperboy48 Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 haha. Aw, man. Another person who is tired of me! Sorry, I just have no one else to talk to. That's why were here... 1
WeirdExs Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 How do you get over the IDEA of your ex sleeping with someone else? I know it's inevitable, neither of us are going to be celibate forever. But I just hate thinking of him being with another girl. It makes me sick and weak. It makes me sad. How do you handle something that is out of your control? What can I do to not focus on that? I think this bothers me more than anything. He was mine and now he isn't. Now he will be someone else's. And then me sleeping with someone else? How am I going to feel? What if it makes me miss my ex? I don't want to compare. How do you guys get over this? Easy answer, go sleep with someone else, someone better (in your case, someone who will appreciate your company and will show you the affection that you need)... not saying go sleep with the next random guy, but go out there and meet someone better.
flitzanu Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 How do you get over the IDEA of your ex sleeping with someone else? I know it's inevitable, neither of us are going to be celibate forever. But I just hate thinking of him being with another girl. It makes me sick and weak. It makes me sad. How do you handle something that is out of your control? What can I do to not focus on that? I think this bothers me more than anything. He was mine and now he isn't. Now he will be someone else's. And then me sleeping with someone else? How am I going to feel? What if it makes me miss my ex? I don't want to compare. How do you guys get over this? time. the image haunted me for months of my ex banging this douchebag in her bed and it made me sick. eventually the shock wears off. 2
Author youngnlove89 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 Yea it hurt to hear him say that. He said it wouldn't happen right away, but one day he will be with someone else. and he said it hurts him to know I'm going to be with someone else. He doens't even want to fathom it. UGH.
Author youngnlove89 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 Easy answer, go sleep with someone else, someone better (in your case, someone who will appreciate your company and will show you the affection that you need)... not saying go sleep with the next random guy, but go out there and meet someone better. I know. I feel that will help me. Does that make me sound slutty
Tree_Salmon Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 haha. Aw, man. Another person who is tired of me! Sorry, I just have no one else to talk to. shes a funny one. Who cares if they're f**king someone else. It's human nature. After a while you don't care anymore. We do the same thing so what does it matter. Maybe not right away but eventually. Like if you met me, guaranteed you wouldn't be 95% thinking about your ex. But that's another story.
flitzanu Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 I know. I feel that will help me. Does that make me sound slutty no, but it won't help you. sleeping with someone else is going to make you miss sleeping with your ex, then you're gonna feel regretful and down on yourself. so don't do that. 2
Author youngnlove89 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 shes a funny one. Who cares if they're f**king someone else. It's human nature. After a while you don't care anymore. We do the same thing so what does it matter. Maybe not right away but eventually. Like if you met me, guaranteed you wouldn't be 95% thinking about your ex. But that's another story. Very true. It's just reality. Met you? Well if I won't be thinking of my ex, sign me up, I'll fill out the paper work! But this is ironic, but this guy I met before my current ex, just contacted me, and I always had a crush on him. I feel giddy right now, like a little girl with butterflies. Maybe this is what I will need to move on!
lingardx Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 How do you get over the IDEA of your ex sleeping with someone else? I know it's inevitable, neither of us are going to be celibate forever. But I just hate thinking of him being with another girl. It makes me sick and weak. It makes me sad. How do you handle something that is out of your control? What can I do to not focus on that? I think this bothers me more than anything. He was mine and now he isn't. Now he will be someone else's. And then me sleeping with someone else? How am I going to feel? What if it makes me miss my ex? I don't want to compare. How do you guys get over this? never began to think about that until now. i can't begin to even imagine the hurt that will cross me if such things happen (i am still hoping i get him back) but for now he says such things aren't on his mind. time is a healer. x
Author youngnlove89 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 no, but it won't help you. sleeping with someone else is going to make you miss sleeping with your ex, then you're gonna feel regretful and down on yourself. so don't do that. I probably wouldn't be able to anyways. Cuddling, kissing...yes. but I will wait till I find the right one to give myself away. I'm more valuable than that. You have to work for this girl
Author youngnlove89 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 never began to think about that until now. i can't begin to even imagine the hurt that will cross me if such things happen (i am still hoping i get him back) but for now he says such things aren't on his mind. time is a healer. x That's nice of him. At least he didn't tell you he was thinking about having sex with someone else. He has your heart at best interest and knows telling you those things would not be beneficial for you. He doesn't want to hurt you. It's better not to know things sometimes. What you don't know, won't hurt you.
Floored Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 This was a really hard one for me. We were each others' firsts for almost everything but holding hands, I was going to marry this girl this year and we were both excited to be together so the thought of her even hugging someone else just rocked me in horrible ways, especially since we broke up so she could specifically hook up with other guys and 'make mistakes', and supposedly mistakes were made within days of us breaking up. It produced a lot of anxiety initially, I felt I needed to get her back before someone else could get to her; NC was especially difficult because of this but saved me more dignity than I'll ever know. I don't know if I'll ever feel good about the idea of her sleeping with someone else, but I definitely don't feel much about it anymore and I'm starting to actually notice other women. I think that initial and prolonged sick feeling is some kind of coping mechanism. The thought of me sleeping again with her disgusts me now more than the thought of her sleeping with someone else; somehow, my mind swapped what made me sick, and a few women in another department are looking really good- a first since the breakup. It is one of the harder aspects of the breakup, sex is a huge emotional and physical link between two people so it's especially painful to sever. It really is a trial by fire. Don't avoid the thoughts or pretend it will never happen- face the reality that both you and your ex will be with new people, let the pain sear your heart and burn the past. The scar remains but the pain eventually starts to subside.
Author youngnlove89 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 This was a really hard one for me. We were each others' firsts for almost everything but holding hands, I was going to marry this girl this year and we were both excited to be together so the thought of her even hugging someone else just rocked me in horrible ways, especially since we broke up so she could specifically hook up with other guys and 'make mistakes', and supposedly mistakes were made within days of us breaking up. It produced a lot of anxiety initially, I felt I needed to get her back before someone else could get to her; NC was especially difficult because of this but saved me more dignity than I'll ever know. I don't know if I'll ever feel good about the idea of her sleeping with someone else, but I definitely don't feel much about it anymore and I'm starting to actually notice other women. I think that initial and prolonged sick feeling is some kind of coping mechanism. The thought of me sleeping again with her disgusts me now more than the thought of her sleeping with someone else; somehow, my mind swapped what made me sick, and a few women in another department are looking really good- a first since the breakup. It is one of the harder aspects of the breakup, sex is a huge emotional and physical link between two people so it's especially painful to sever. It really is a trial by fire. Don't avoid the thoughts or pretend it will never happen- face the reality that both you and your ex will be with new people, let the pain sear your heart and burn the past. The scar remains but the pain eventually starts to subside. ugh, i know it is very heart wrenching! but that is the thing, the moment he sleeps with someone else he has lost me. i will be disgusted to ever sleep with him again. What he did before he met me, never bothered me, but what he does after me, is unbearable. I will be officially done, no going back.
Floored Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 ugh, i know it is very heart wrenching! but that is the thing, the moment he sleeps with someone else he has lost me. i will be disgusted to ever sleep with him again. What he did before he met me, never bothered me, but what he does after me, is unbearable. I will be officially done, no going back. I thought this EXACT same thing- remember the anxiety I was talking about? That's why I had the impossible urge to get her back. She sleeps with someone else, I want nothing to do with her; we would be no longer be just for each other. Before me, there may have been some small junior high stuff, but no matter if she had even slept with another guy, it was before me and I wasn't part of her life. Now that we've had this chapter, I feel like these things she does, even if it's what she needs to do to get it out of her system, is still in conflict with our dynamic- regardless of if we're broken up or not. I'm not of the particular mindset of getting over someone by getting under someone new, so I've made zero action towards anyone else so far. I prefer to sleep with one girl 500 times than 500 girls once, quality over quantity I guess. Sounds like you've got a similar mindset. Don't lose that, I think the you ten years from now will thank you.
ellllllarose Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 haha. Aw, man. Another person who is tired of me! Sorry, I just have no one else to talk to. same. people are probably sick of me, too. haha. our NC start date is the same basically. and i'm worried about the same thing. so I don't know. I don't have a good response.
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