Emily441 Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 (edited) My boyfriend and I are both 16 and have been together for a few months now. He has been honest with me since day 1. However yesterday, I asked him how his day was, since I haven't heard from him at all until last night (which is very unusual, because he talks to me all day long) Surprisingly, he said it was terrible. He told me that he went to the dentist, ran some errands, blah blah. Then he said he went to his mother's house and his 12 year old brother KISSED him and touched his private area. As he was telling me that, I immediately thought he is lying, maybe to get sympathy or attention. But it just isn't like him to do that. He didn't seem to disturbed telling me that either. He acted like it was fine. I remember I was touched like that at a young age and it has traumatized me to this day. I felt angry, but being a good girlfriend I said "I was touched that way before when I was younger, so I know how you feel" All he said was "Haha ok" We talked about it briefly, and then he said something that made me even angrier. I asked him if he was ok and he said "Yeah. My brother is just at that age" What kind of 12 year old boy would kiss and touch his 16 year old brother?! I know hormones are raging at that age but seriously?! Why make excuses for someone who is younger/smaller/weaker than you that just violated you? I don't know what to believe. All I know is that I'm angry. I'm angry at my boyfriend, and I know that makes me sound like a terrible person. I'm angry because I don't know if he is telling the truth. I'm angry because even IF this did happen, he could have pushed his brother off when he made that move. It's easy to push off a preteen boy. I kicked, screamed, bit, punched when I was molested. Why wouldn't he do the same? What bothered me most tho, is that my boyfriend isn't quiet sure about his sexual orientation (You've probably seen my previous posts about it) How do I know that he did not enjoy this? He never said anything like "it was horrible" or "I feel violated". All I got from him was "Haha, I'm ok" I asked my best guy friend who also has a little brother who is younger and he said that was the most messed up thing he's ever heard. Should I bring this up when we talk again, or should I just leave it here, wondering what went on and why he never told an adult about the inccident? And do I have a right to be disgusted and angry at my boyfriend? Please please, give me some advice. We only talked about it for a few mins, and I'd feel weird bringing it up. Edited August 16, 2012 by Emily441
g450 Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Emily, it may not mean anything. Some people handle stuff like that in their own way. Maybe he made peace with it. I have a brother that had a cousin do something similar to him. AFAIK, it never really affected him later in life although there was a time he was into drugs and alcohol. Thing is, we may never know. I would just leave it alone if I were you and try not to read too much into it.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 What bothered me most tho, is that my boyfriend isn't quiet sure about his sexual orientation (You've probably seen my previous posts about it) How do I know that he did not enjoy this? He never said anything like "it was horrible" or "I feel violated". All I got from him was "Haha, I'm ok" I asked my best guy friend who also has a little brother who is younger and he said that was the most messed up thing he's ever heard. Should I bring this up when we talk again, or should I just leave it here, wondering what went on and why he never told an adult about the inccident? And do I have a right to be disgusted and angry at my boyfriend? Please please, give me some advice. We only talked about it for a few mins, and I'd feel weird bringing it up. Tryyyyyyyyyyyyy to resist contributing to the problem. What if this is the person we occasionally read about who later reports having been sooooooooooo confused about his orientation, that this sort of an experience really aggravated him and gnawed away at his confidence even more? When you're in your mid teens, and you even contemplate the feelings you're having as meaning that you're gay, you put a whole lot of pressure on yourself, (at the very least, to pick a 'side'). If your brother touches you in a sexual-ish way, and you're stunned at not knowing for sure HOW you feel about it, it amounts to much more pressure and uneasiness (even beyond where your blood relative is concerned). Regardless of whether your boyfriend is gay or not, youuuuuuuuuuu don't want or need to be the girlfriend who is further aggravating whatever uncertain feelings he could be having inside. That you spoke to a "best guy friend" (3rd party) about this sensitive issue is already betrayal enough. Your boyfriend surely wants support, and not anything less.
Recommended Posts