jayy23 Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 That's me at day 40 of NC and she still hasen't tried to contact me atall I was really hoping she would have tried to by now it's frustrating. I keep thinking should I just contact her maybe she just thinks I have moved on and doesn't want to bother me? The only way I would find out would be to contact her.
SoConfusedAndInShock Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 if you dumped her then yes call her please...
Author jayy23 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 if you dumped her then yes call her please... Nope she finished with me.
Tree_Salmon Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 That's me at day 40 of NC and she still hasen't tried to contact me atall I was really hoping she would have tried to by now it's frustrating. I keep thinking should I just contact her maybe she just thinks I have moved on and doesn't want to bother me? The only way I would find out would be to contact her. Usually ex's write at this point. Either shes afraid to or is over you. Who knows. What you do is up to you. Ask yourself "Am i ready to hear something horrible?" like she has a boyfriend or shes moved on and doesn't seem to care about you. You could be thrown right back in to Day 1. But if you're truly ready let it go. Or call. you're choice.
Author jayy23 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 Usually ex's write at this point. Either shes afraid to or is over you. Who knows. What you do is up to you. Ask yourself "Am i ready to hear something horrible?" like she has a boyfriend or shes moved on and doesn't seem to care about you. You could be thrown right back in to Day 1. But if you're truly ready let it go. Or call. you're choice. Yeah that's what I was thinking I thought she would have tried to contact me by now. I doubt that she has a new bf one of the reasons she left was because she doesn't want to be in a relationship just now but who knows. I don't think I would be shocked if she was to say that she is over me. In a way I think she's trying really hard to stay away from me so she can get over me I think if she was to meet up with me it would set her back.
SoConfusedAndInShock Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Usually ex's write at this point. Either shes afraid to or is over you. Who knows. What you do is up to you. Ask yourself "Am i ready to hear something horrible?" like she has a boyfriend or shes moved on and doesn't seem to care about you. You could be thrown right back in to Day 1. But if you're truly ready let it go. Or call. you're choice. petty much said it all there....its about to be 2 months for me and you know what?.. i fought for him for a while but at this point no matter WHAT i do, its his game. so im just saying don't set yourself up for sadness if things don't go the way you want them if you do make contact. im sure they know how much and how bad we want them to talk to us (my biggest fear is that if i do say something i just might ruin my chances) so THINK before you do anything. good luck! 1
Author jayy23 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 petty much said it all there....its about to be 2 months for me and you know what?.. i fought for him for a while but at this point no matter WHAT i do, its his game. so im just saying don't set yourself up for sadness if things don't go the way you want them if you do make contact. im sure they know how much and how bad we want them to talk to us (my biggest fear is that if i do say something i just might ruin my chances) so THINK before you do anything. good luck! That's what I'm worried about if I do contact her and if she really doesn't want me to then I myt have blown any chance of sorting things out. But I do want to contact her to see what happens I just wish she would have contacted me by now it would have made things easyr
Tree_Salmon Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Yeah that's what I was thinking I thought she would have tried to contact me by now. I doubt that she has a new bf one of the reasons she left was because she doesn't want to be in a relationship just now but who knows. I don't think I would be shocked if she was to say that she is over me. In a way I think she's trying really hard to stay away from me so she can get over me I think if she was to meet up with me it would set her back. One thing you have to remember is when someone says "i dont want to be in a relationship" they usually mean "i don't want to be i a relationship WITH YOU" Don't fool yourself into some comfortable rationalization. We all do it. And it hurts like hell when you realize you're wrong. She might have had 2 boyfriends already, you wouldn't know. Think about what you're gonna do with yourself and have fun. 1
Tree_Salmon Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 That's what I'm worried about if I do contact her and if she really doesn't want me to then I myt have blown any chance of sorting things out. But I do want to contact her to see what happens I just wish she would have contacted me by now it would have made things easyr Don't look at it this way either. If YOU want to talk to her just because you want to then do it. If you can handle the possible pain that is. Do NOT worry about what she thinks. or wants, or feels. Be yourself and do what you want. She already left you and is probably in a different place emotionally. There have been times where i felt the need to contact my ex because i wanted to. Every time I ended up getting what i wanted as a result. If you do talk you should be cool, confident, and happy by yourself. Watch the confusion when she hears you. The key is to stay away long enough so that you can become that cool person. I've gone 5 months without contact before and then had my ex trying to be with me more than ever. It was more about growing as a man then getting some weird revenge.
Author jayy23 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 One thing you have to remember is when someone says "i dont want to be in a relationship" they usually mean "i don't want to be i a relationship WITH YOU" Don't fool yourself into some comfortable rationalization. We all do it. And it hurts like hell when you realize you're wrong. She might have had 2 boyfriends already, you wouldn't know. Think about what you're gonna do with yourself and have fun. Yeah I understand that but I really do doubt that she's had or got a new bf but thrs only one way to find out.
SoConfusedAndInShock Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 One thing you have to remember is when someone says "i dont want to be in a relationship" they usually mean "i don't want to be i a relationship WITH YOU" Don't fool yourself into some comfortable rationalization. We all do it. And it hurts like hell when you realize you're wrong. She might have had 2 boyfriends already, you wouldn't know. Think about what you're gonna do with yourself and have fun. so every day its been hard for me been going crazy like you have but let me tell you this...every time i wanna contact him or "check up on him" through his friends or other sites i keep telling myself ignorance is a bliss in times like this. if i dont poke at things, then things dont bite me back. i just try to avoid knowing what hes doing and the chicks hes doing as much as possible cuz that's just gonna set me straight to being a cry baby. WHEN/IF he wants me i really do he reaches out so tell yourself that. idk maybe this different for guy dumpees... Do what you think is right 1
Author jayy23 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 Don't look at it this way either. If YOU want to talk to her just because you want to then do it. If you can handle the possible pain that is. Do NOT worry about what she thinks. or wants, or feels. Be yourself and do what you want. She already left you and is probably in a different place emotionally. There have been times where i felt the need to contact my ex because i wanted to. Every time I ended up getting what i wanted as a result. If you do talk you should be cool, confident, and happy by yourself. Watch the confusion when she hears you. The key is to stay away long enough so that you can become that cool person. I've gone 5 months without contact before and then had my ex trying to be with me more than ever. It was more about growing as a man then getting some weird revenge. Yeah if I do contact her I'm goina be cool and collected and just ask how things are going and try work my way in slowly no pun intended lol. I think I'm at a good point if she was to say that she really doesn't want me to contact her anymore then I wouldn't and I don't think it would bother me that much. to be honest I would rather her tell me that rather than not knowing atall.
SoConfusedAndInShock Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 sorry didnt mean to quote Tree_Salmon i meant to quote the OP
Hornachero Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 40 days of NC is a considerable amount of time and you shouldn't underestimate the progress you made. Are you ready to take the risk to hear something you don't want to hear and go back to square one? For motivation, I recommend reading this excellent thread : http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/56954-do-you-really-think-contacting-your-ex-going-help-you-guide-long-walk
Author jayy23 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 40 days of NC is a considerable amount of time and you shouldn't underestimate the progress you made. Are you ready to take the risk to hear something you don't want to hear and go back to square one? For motivation, I recommend reading this excellent thread : http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/56954-do-you-really-think-contacting-your-ex-going-help-you-guide-long-walk Yeah that's another thing I was thinking I have done well so far not contacting her but I did expect her to have contacted me by now and she hasent so now I'm thinking about why she has not tried to contact me is she over me is she to scared to does she not want to have anything to do with me anymore is she in a new relationship or US she worried that if she does she will give me false hope thrs loads of reasons but I want to know it be easyr if she just told me so I could take the next step and move on. I think I feel ready to here that she doesn't want me in her life atall if that's wat she wants but I would rather know.
Author jayy23 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 As much as I want to contact her I'll give it a couple of days and see how I feel then. I just hope that if I do contact her it goes well.
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