startinganew777 Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 (edited) So I met someone on OKCupid a little over a week ago. We went out that night and had a great time. Really sweet guy, opened the door for me, all that jazz. The next day he says he has never met anyone like me before, has a lot of hope for us and asks me if it would freak me out if he took his profile down already because he just wants to focus on me and doesn't really like dating. I said that was fine because I am the same way. So he took it down and we saw each other a couple more times and the dates went well. He was very responsive, texted me during the day, called me, told me he even told his mother about me and seemed really, really interested. The last time I saw him was Friday. We live almost an hour away from each other and he came all the way and picked me up so I told him to text me when he got home so I knew he was ok. He did and told me he had a great night and that he already missed me. The weekend rolls around and I had plans Saturday night so we couldn't see each other but got a text saying he wished I was having fun and to be safe. Then after that things really slowed down. I have hardly heard much out of him, and I feel like I have to instigate the conversation. Now, he does have a son and building a house and having issues with that and VERY busy at work, he says he is always behind. But the contact just dropped off dramatically after Friday's date. He told me a couple days ago he can't stop thinking about me but haven't heard much out of him since. I really, really like this guy, he is stable, good family, good job and was very gentleman like around me but I don't know if he just got real busy this week or if the interest level just isn't there anymore. His profile is still down but I am just confused and don't want to bother him if he is real busy. I just figure if someone really likes you, they will try to make it a point to contact you a little more. But I don't want to scare him off either by saying anything about it. Why do guys do that? Really into someone one minute and then seem too busy another but won't just come out and tell you there aren't interested? Seems like we had a good connection and I was excited about getting to know him better but I just feel like something is up. Should I just lay off, I mean I am pretty sure he knows how interested I am. At least I think he does. I just don't know what to do. Edited August 16, 2012 by startinganew777
KathyM Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 I'm guessing he met somebody else, and he's cooling it with you until he sees where the other relationship is going. Or someone he had been interested in and communicating with suddenly stepped up her interest in him when she found out he's going off the market.
Emilia Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 He probably didn't take his profile down, just blocked you to make you think he did. He met someone else. You really shouldn't believe everything people say. Just because a guy keeps calling and saying the right things it doesn't mean he means them.
Author startinganew777 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 Well, the profile is down. I disabled mine too but you can still look people up on google by entering their profile name and it is coming up as no account so I know for a fact it is down. I have had a couple guys lie to me about it so yeah, I check. But yeah, maybe he was talking to someone else or something. Who knows. He has had his kid the past couple days and it is his weekend to have him also so I probably won't hear from him much anyways.
all_hail_me Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Ah that's a total pain, and I'm sorry it seems to have completed u-turned for you. I think OKC is full of liars personally. I wouldn't hold your breath, you can fall head over heels for someone then when they do this crap, a month later you're like "what the hell was that all about?". Maybe he'll come around, but he could just be keen on any girl that peaks his interest.
Emilia Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Well, the profile is down. I disabled mine too but you can still look people up on google by entering their profile name and it is coming up as no account so I know for a fact it is down. I have had a couple guys lie to me about it so yeah, I check. But yeah, maybe he was talking to someone else or something. Who knows. He has had his kid the past couple days and it is his weekend to have him also so I probably won't hear from him much anyways. Fair enough on the profile. I'm sure he will be in touch, see whether he provides some kind of explanation, that would be only polite
SmileFace Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Wait, this all happened in the last 7 to 10 days?
Author startinganew777 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 Yeah, it does suck. I really liked him and he seemed normal out of the other guys I have met off there. I just sent him an email saying I know he has been busy but just wanted to say hi and that I hope he has a good day. We will see. If I don't hear from him after that, I give up. Just wish these guys had the balls to tell us upfront that they aren't interested anymore. I think I deserve that much at least. Just really sad about this guy.
Emilia Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Yeah, it does suck. I really liked him and he seemed normal out of the other guys I have met off there. I just sent him an email saying I know he has been busy but just wanted to say hi and that I hope he has a good day. We will see. If I don't hear from him after that, I give up. Just wish these guys had the balls to tell us upfront that they aren't interested anymore. I think I deserve that much at least. Just really sad about this guy. I've just seen smileface's comment and realise this has only been going on for a week?????
Author startinganew777 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 Well yeah, a couple weeks. Just was curious why the total 180 from him and frustrated that some guys can't just be upfront.
Emilia Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Well yeah, a couple weeks. Just was curious why the total 180 from him and frustrated that some guys can't just be upfront. Upfront about what exactly after a week or so?
Author startinganew777 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 If there is interest still. After 3 dates, I would think he would know or could tell me.
ChatroomHero Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 You do mention he has a kid, building a house and busy at work. I know just looking for a house and being busy at work was enough to make me retreat a little bit from other things. It's new, it might be getting tough for him to find time to spend with you and he might be feeling a little overburdened. I know sometimes when the sh*t hits the fan and I get really busy my relationships suffer and I get frustrated thinking about all of the people I have to call or get back with and sometimes I just disappear for a bit. I am not sending passive aggressive messages by not calling them, just for lack of a better description, laying low. Might just be that.
veggirl Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 maybe he feels like you guys rushed things and it freaked him out. too much too soon is generally not a good idea. Perhaps he is now regretting that. I don't know, after only a week or so, its too early to tell and people bail that early often. 1
Emilia Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 If there is interest still. After 3 dates, I would think he would know or could tell me. This is the indication of his interest after 3 dates. You last saw him on Friday, he hasn't been in touch much for almost a week since. You have been only talking for about 2 weeks. I would just move on, don't really think he owes you that much of an explanation (though it would be polite obviously).
Author startinganew777 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 Yeah, I can understand him being busy. He has a lot on his plate right now. He kinda rushed things, I was freaking a little so slowing down is perfectly fine with me. I just know it is too early too be talking about anything that serious right now so I am not going to say anything. Hopefully he will contact me again. Just don't want to waste my time.
Emilia Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Yeah, I can understand him being busy. He has a lot on his plate right now. He kinda rushed things, I was freaking a little so slowing down is perfectly fine with me. I just know it is too early too be talking about anything that serious right now so I am not going to say anything. Hopefully he will contact me again. Just don't want to waste my time. Of course not. You will know soon enough though
Lonely Ronin Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 I just know it is too early too be talking about anything that serious right now so I am not going to say anything. Hopefully he will contact me again. Just don't want to waste my time. Have you initiated any contact with him since Friday?
Author startinganew777 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 Thanks for your replies. I will wait a little and then put my profile back up and move on.
Author startinganew777 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 A little. We have texted a couple times a day but not much. Nothing like last week. He did tell me he was upset a couple days ago because work has been insane and he was having issues with the contract on his house so I kinda left him alone. Maybe just said hi and that was it
Lonely Ronin Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 A little. We have texted a couple times a day but not much. Nothing like last week. He did tell me he was upset a couple days ago because work has been insane and he was having issues with the contract on his house so I kinda left him alone. Maybe just said hi and that was it My advise would be to text him and see how he is doing.
Emilia Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 My advise would be to text him and see how he is doing. Worth giving it one go. Just keep the expectations low OP
Author startinganew777 Posted August 17, 2012 Author Posted August 17, 2012 Well, I sent him an email yesterday morning just saying hi and I hope he has a nice day. Nothing. Didn't hear from him at all. Then earlier this morning he texts "Happy Friday Baby". I respond and then ask how he is doing. Again, nothing. This is pretty much how it has gone all week. Wednesday he texted me Happy Wendesday and then not much after that. How are we supposed to get to know each other when we don't even talk?! Frustrating.
Emilia Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 To be honest I would have probably called him especially if I wanted to determine whether there was anything worth investing in further. A person's voice is a great indicator of their thoughts/feelings. If he has regular access to his emails then at least you know. 2
Author startinganew777 Posted August 17, 2012 Author Posted August 17, 2012 Well, he is slammed at work and had his son last night so I didn't want to bother him. Maybe I will try and call tonight after he gets off. It is all just weird. I pretty much wrote him off last night figuring I wouldn't hear from him and then he texts this morning. Why even contact me just once a day? I just don't get it.
Recommended Posts