KathyM Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 It's usually not a good idea to separate to work out marital problems. Working them out together in the same household is the ideal, with counseling if necessary. Once a couple separates, it's hard to get back together. One of the partners ends up having to sign a lease for his new place, and then he's stuck living there for a year. I know my sister separated from her second husband and he ended up buying a house during the separation. They tried to reconcile and went to marriage counseling, but he thought he couldn't move back because of the house, so he wanted her to move in with him. She didn't want to give up her marital home that she had for 20 years and which her kids, now adults, had grown up in. So they divorced. Had he not bought that house, they would be together and married today. Separation is usually not a good idea to repair marital issues. It gets people into living separate lives, and it's just too easy then to divorce. I would only recommend it as a last resort, and only under certain circumstances. I do know a couple who reconciled and got back together after a seven month separation. Their marriage is now happy because they recommited to each other and they had a major change in attitude towards each other. The wife was determined that she was going to make it work, and she wasn't going to give up, and sure enough, she managed to turn their marriage around and they are very happy now together. Normally, however, it's not a good plan to separate, because people set up lives apart, and it's then harder to get back together. Try to work out your problems together, while living in the same house, preferably with marital counseling.
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