lovebeinghappy Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 ok so I have been with my bf for 2 years. When we got together I had a drinking problem and I would blackout and get crazy to where he would have to "physically" control me and he would leave bruises and all so we came up with this "relationship" contract (actually wrote it out) where we would not drink so much, or go out to bars without eachother (he does not trust my friends) I agreed to that one because I was feeling guilty about the drinking part. NOW I have no friends left that I had before I met him. And I miss them. I told him maybe we should change it (now it seems a bit stupid to me) and we go out a few times with our friends and he said if thats the case then he will not marry me. We are set to get married in two weeks! What do I do? I love the man so much, I have been with him for 2 years. He said I can do lunch or something with my friends, but no drinking and no bars. And not at night.
Arabella Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 You agreed to it, my friend. That's what contracts are all about. I think he has good reasons for wanting to stick with it!
Emilia Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 ok so I have been with my bf for 2 years. When we got together I had a drinking problem and I would blackout and get crazy to where he would have to "physically" control me and he would leave bruises Is this a covert way of saying he beat you? and all so we came up with this "relationship" contract (actually wrote it out) where we would not drink so much, or go out to bars without eachother (he does not trust my friends) In what way? I agreed to that one because I was feeling guilty about the drinking part. NOW I have no friends left that I had before I met him. And I miss them. If your friends don't socialise with you outside bar hours, they are just drinking bodies, non? I told him maybe we should change it (now it seems a bit stupid to me) and we go out a few times with our friends and he said if thats the case then he will not marry me. We are set to get married in two weeks! What do I do? I love the man so much, I have been with him for 2 years. He said I can do lunch or something with my friends, but no drinking and no bars. And not at night. He sounds pretty controlling to me. Does he beat you? 1
soccerrprp Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Sounds like a great contract. He obviously cares about you and for you to try to modify it to suit your needs when it's to help you is suspect and I, personally, would hold off on the wedding for a while longer seeing that you clearly have not changed completely. Good luck. 1
veggirl Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 why do you need to meet your friends at the bar sooo badly? What's wrong with just having lunch with them? If you black out and do things you don't remember, I don't blame him for not wanting you to go to the bar. The contract thing though is bizarre...are there written consequences in it if you breach the contract? 1
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