Girlfriend randomly leaves me out of the blue for a new guy she met?

[jthiff]

Iv never posted on these before but alot of people seem to help. So I'm going to try to keep my story short and brief. Iv been with this girl for about 15 months. One of my good buddies died last year, they had not been together very long sadly but they were expecting a baby. I made a promise to my Jake that I would keep an eye on his child. I hadn't met her yet at the time but I did add her to Facebook to let her know that I was sorry for her loss and that if she needed anyone to talk to I was there for support, approximately 3 weeks go by and I seen her online, asked her how she was doing and how she was feeling with the loss. She was doing better so I suggested we could meet up and go for a coffee, to get her out of the house abit. I ended up picking her up and we went to the beach since it was a beautiful day out. She was stunning, such a beautiful and nice girl. She was at doing makeup course at a very high end makeup artist school in downtown Vancouver. After a couple hours at the beach i said he would you like to go watch the race cars tonight. She said yes and we went there together. We clicked so well together, she leaned her head on my shoulder near the end of the night and I felt great but at the same time I felt it was wrong because of my friend. After the races I dropped her back off at home and I received a text from her saying she really enjoyed her night out and that she liked me.

Im not going to lie I fell for her at first sight. I called some close family friends and told them what was happening, I felt like I was betraying my recently deceased friend but at the same time I said to myself I can't hurt him he is dead? My main concern was his parents. We kept it a secret from them for till when he was almost born because at that point we had too. Having them walk in and seeing me in the labour room would have been a shock and probably the most awkward moment of my life. I knew they would be torn if they found out. I didn't know how to tell them. So we ended up seeing each other the next day. She ended up spending her nights at my house. We were madly in love with each other and I was ready to accept this baby as mine, she was approx 5 months pregnant at the time. I introduced her to my family, my entire family loved her, she had goals in life and everything. She talked with such confidence in herself. Amazing head on her shoulders it blew everyone away. I was working while she was at home doing what ever pregnant girls do, my mother came and visited at the house often to see her and take her out since she does not have a license. Also good to have around since she is a nurse. September comes and the baby was due on the 28th. On the 14th her water broke and it was a quick layout, approx 4-5 hours after it broke he was out. Healthy handsome little boy, it was the best day of my life, such a life changer. She was 18 at the time I was 23. Young parents. I started noticing a few weeks later after the birth that she was starting to become a different person, more moody, b*itchy over little things, but nothing serious. It was not easy for either of us we had to wake up exactly every 3 hours on the clock because he would want his milk, she had to breast pump so I would sit up in bed and cuddle him while she pumped and I would help feed him. I would generally wake up at 6am and get ready to leave for work. We got a new 3 bedroom ocean view condo in october, couldn't ask for anything more perfect. We had our little boy and life was as good as I you can imagine. Not perfect but I was the happiest man alive. Her father is a contractor, I'm a carpenter. We started working together him and I, couldn't ask for a better boss, nicest guy out there and my work pleases him, family business if anything. I do have my dreams in life and that is to buy, flip and resell homes for profit. Its what I enjoy doing. So always January comes around the corner and I was busy working out of town and was gone from home mabe 3 days a week. Work is work, I have to support her and baby.

Its slow season so i was doing a private contract, took what ever i could get even if it wasn't the ideal job or location. So i got a gut feeling one night something was wrong. Always follow your gut. I drove her to an appointment she had which was only going to take 15 minutes or so, and she happened to leave her cellphone on the seat in the truck. I trusted her with everything, but that gut feeling of mine was telling me I have to just snoop through her texts so I can relax and find out that nothing is up. Sure as hell there was text from another guy, calling her babe, that he loved her etc etc. I went through the sent messages as well and it said stuff like love you too baby, we will be together soon. I was heartbroken instantly. She came back and I started driving, keeping everything bottled inside. She said whats wrong babe? i said nothing, but my eyes started tearing up. She knew what i was about to say. I said how long have you been effing in my back for? and she started bawling her eyes out saying I wasn't there enough for her and that I'm always busy with work. She said she regretted it and she loved me. I told her right on the spot your making a decision now, its me or him, and if its him I'm gone forever, she picked me, she said she had broken it off with him days before i found out because it didn't feel right. He had been living there when i was away at work. I was a very foolish man to not dump her ass on the spot. I love her so much that I couldn't think of living a day without her. Everyone makes mistakes, no one is perfect. I gave her a second chance. I told her if i find out you have any contact with him, Facebook, texts, anything I'm leaving you. So she cut everything off with him, he came knocking on the door that night don't know how he got into the condo building... someone must have opened the door or something for him. But she didn't want to answer the door and she held me back because i was ready to open that door and thrown him over the railing 4 stories down into a parking lot. That was the end of that. We became much more closer together than ever. Life moves on, I get a job renovation exterior and interior of a very high end resort, I have to take a 75 minute water taxi to get there it is on a private island just off vancouver island. I generally work 7 days in 7 days out. Here comes the problem now. So last monday august 6th I leave to work, she asks me just before i left if i could leave her 100$ (no clue what for) and I said yeah no problem. Went and got it for her kissed her and my son goodbye told them I would see them next monday, Love them both vice versa and off to work I go, regular routine iv been doing since may. Well on the 7th of august I text her when i get up at like 6am to work I say good morning babe, love you lots. I generally get a text at 9-10ish when she wakes up. Well i didn't get a single text by noon so I thought oh thats odd. I call her and the phone was off, so i figure it must be dead and she can't find it because she's constantly misplacing things, don't know how you can misplace your cellphone on a daily basis but she manages to do that. So i log onto my Facebook on the iPhone, message her saying her is everything ok? your phone is off. and she reply's that she cannot find it and its dead. So i say well i talked to you last night as i went to bed so must be where you last talked to me? Cant remember where she said she placed it but somewhere pretty random, she called me at 3 saying shed found it and it was acting up and not holding its charge. I said oh weird. (its one of the piece of crap flip phones) so i figured what ever its a piece they usually don't last more than a year or two. So she said she would go out with her grandma that night when she would get off work. I finally get a call from her at like 10pm and i said where have you been I havnt heard from you ALL day i was worried sick about you. She said she had just woken up she was feeling sick and she thinks the baby is getting sick too, it was about a 30 second convo and she hung up. and BACK off goes the phone, well on the 8th her phone was magically back up and running. (does she think I'm stupid?) I knew something was up again, she was barley texting me, would call me for under a minute when it was only convenient for her, i could call all day and she wouldnt pick up. But shed call me late late at night while I'm sitting stranded on an island at work stressing out wondering what the hell is going on because she wouldn't answer my questions. I get home monday she left friday with her mom and grandma to go visit her great grandma out of town and I made it back before she did monday. I had to snoop again because i needed answers. I didn't find any proof of foul play but I knew something was up. She came home my son was so happy to see me he had the biggest and happiest smile on his face and snuggled me for a while and then I put him down to bed. I was just about to jump in the shower and she said not now (in a whiney voice) so i said okkk.....? and she said i think you should leave go to your moms or something. I said I just spent 7 days straight worrying sick and working 12 hours a day, i just worked today too and I'm tired i just want to sleep in my own bed. So i started cleaning up the place since she had a mountain of laundry that piled up in the corner of the room. She says ''fine I will tell you something then that will make you want to leave.'' I dropped everything i was doing and said '' you didn't ****ing cheat on me again did you?'' and she kinda laughed and said no no no. I said what is it then? She says '' I met someone'' I went out with friends and i relized how they are so much happier and he is really nice. I tried to sit down and talk to her but nope she was too busy getting ready to go out!! She said doesn't matter where I'm going. My stomach was twisting and turning, is this really happening? She brushed me off her shoulder like i was a piece of dust. I went to pick up all my stuff last night and she dropped it all off downstairs because ****face was up in my home. What did I ever do to deserve this? I slave away so I can provide the best life I can for them, so we can live comfortably. We are never tight on money so financial strain is not a problem. She thinks this guy will provide and accept this baby as much if not more than me. Thats complete bull, Im not trying to make myself sound good but I am a guy who does not smoke, drink do drugs or nothing. I have very good job. I go out of my way anytime to do whatever she needs. so to tell you about myself abit. I am not the jealous/controllive/stalking boyfriend. I have let her go out to the bar with her friends and everything, i have never once stopped her because I trusted her. I would drop her off and pick them all back up. I have been faithful all along, never once looked at another girl in that way. A few things I forgot to add up there is a month ago she called me crying because she did a pregnancy test and she was pregnant, I was out at work but came home a couple days later. It was a shock at first a little unexpected but I was happy, another baby. This time biological. She ended up having a miscarriage when I was back at work the following week and blamed it all on me, said it was all my fault and that I killed out baby. I didn't cry over that blame because I know it had nothing to do with me, neither with her, its just something that happens, sometimes the egg is genetically wrong and aborts itself, or mabe she did something she wasn't suppose to do like heavy lifting before she found out she was. Who knows. Anways I have had very little contact since monday I tried talking to her but she's acting like a child. not answering or even bothering to talk to me. I know she's on a new joy ride and everything feels ''fresh'' but its so wrong to do that to me and leave me hanging here, I can't bear the thought of having some other guy holding her and my son. I tried to convince her that we should go see a therapist and try and fix this. I don't want to lose her, she is my everything and so is my son. He is 11 months old as of yesterday. Next month is his 1st bday and Its going to hurt so much being there and not being able to share the moment like it was planned She refuses to go to therapy she is a very VERY stubborn girl. Not who I first met, she fooled me with her lies, she fooled my friends and she fooled every single member of my family, her parents don't know nothing yet they are out camping for a few more days which we were all suppose to go with them. I go out to work with my father in law on monday, I don't even know how to tell him. Iv had heartbreaks before but nothing like this, this is a very different situation, there is a child whom I love with all my heart involved and my fiancé which we were also planning our wedding for next summer (forgot to mention that at some point up top) She was totally into it, we had the venue picked, beautiful place called Hatley Castle in Victoria BC, her dress was picked out. I did all I could and I get betrayed. I realize this is a very long post and Im sorry but I had to explain into detail so you guys can get to learn a little bit of how we met how life was etc etc. Thank you all so much for spending at least 10 minutes reading this. I hope to have some good replies. Im also going to try no contact for a couple weeks mabe she will snap back to herself and realize what she had. How many men would do what I did for that child, for her. She's tiny and gorgeous. I know for a fact that the ''new'' guy only wants to fk the **** out of her. He's going to play his nice boy cards for the first while. Im feeling very down. Thank you all for reading

[weallfalldown]

sorry i got eye ache............

[not-a-drive-by]

sorry i got eye ache............

 

Me too...but I managed to read through it by highlighting parts of the block of text so I don't end up re-reading the same line, or be tempted to skim through chunks of the story.

 

jthiff, please use paragraphs next time .

 

But I am lost for words. After reading all that, you seem to be the perfect boyfriend, and husband. To accept someone else's kid (this case, your friend) as your own and love them like you did, is difficult. You did all you could to provide for this girl and the baby, emotionally and financially, yet she let it all go. Her reason for acting up like this? I think she is still young and wants to explore her options. She's 18 and beautiful. I believe years down the track, she is going to regret losing you.

 

I am still in shock. ****, I am pissed at her. From reading what you posted, I can see how much you love her. The things I would do to find a guy like you...wished my ex loved me like how you love her .

[jthiff]

Me too...but I managed to read through it by highlighting parts of the block of text so I don't end up re-reading the same line, or be tempted to skim through chunks of the story.

 

jthiff, please use paragraphs next time .

 

But I am lost for words. After reading all that, you seem to be the perfect boyfriend, and husband. To accept someone else's kid (this case, your friend) as your own and love them like you did, is difficult. You did all you could to provide for this girl and the baby, emotionally and financially, yet she let it all go. Her reason for acting up like this? I think she is still young and wants to explore her options. She's 18 and beautiful. I believe years down the track, she is going to regret losing you.

 

I am still in shock. ****, I am pissed at her. From reading what you posted, I can see how much you love her. The things I would do to find a guy like you...wished my ex loved me like how you love her .

 

Thanks so much for reading, your right I should have put it in paragraphs but even then I think it would be too long for most people, It was sometime in middle of the night. Wasn't thinking very straight so to say. So emotionally drained and exhausted. Any way I can edit my original post so i can split it up. she's 19 now I'm 24 not that it makes a difference she is still young. I know she will regret losing me. Theres no doubt in my mind, but by that time am I going to want her back? Does she deserve me after what she has done? She was the type of girl that would randomly cry in the middle of the night in bed because she was scared she would lose me (just randomly). I re-assured her that I had no intentions on leaving her and I knew that I would never.

[jackiki]

Sadly, If I were you I would let her go!

 

First she has lost her first man whom his baby she was carrying. Implying that she cared a lot about him to go this far for her age. And He did not leave her, which is hard on most people, but unfortunately passed away. Therefore, for a girl her age to go through all this trauma, is tough!

You came into the picture soon after this sad incident, and definitely she knew that you are a person that can lift her from her misery.

 

Maybe I am mistaken, but there is huge possibility that she was confusing her feelings of love to you, for feelings of need and attention. and this can explain why she has decided to dump you after a while, and why she is in constant search for attention from other guys.

 

I know it is tough on you to let her go, given that a child that you care about is involved. But on the other hand, he is not yours, and thus you do not have any strings attached. The older you will get, the more clear this notion is going to be.

 

For now, give yourself some time off, in order to have an objective view of this situation, and make up your decisions accordingly. I am positive that you will reach to the same conclusion as many will tell you. Is to simply let her go...

[jthiff]

Jackiki I know what you mean by she lost Jake, but things I didn't put into my post are that She got pregnant with him literally a week after dating her. That first day I picked her up and brought her to the beach, she vented a little bit. This is what she said, that when she came back from vancouver the day after he died she was in his room, she found other girls underwear. She found used condoms hidden. She went on his computer and found email conversations with some ex's and one of his ex girlfriends mothers. He was saying in the emails how this baby was another mistake and problem in his life. He was going through tough times. He was a drug user and smoked. She found texts in his phone of girls he had been sleeping with. The only thing that made her stay with him before she found all this out was the baby

 

. He had a 7pm curfue which he had to be at home on very harsh conditions for a trial that had been going on for just a little over a year. He was being accused of 2nd degree murder which I do not believe he did but he was at the wrong place at the wrong time and it got him in trouble. I didn't know her before that. I didn't have any mutual friends. But since the break up its unbelievable how many people are stepping forward and telling me things about her. How she was the town slut before that.

 

Everyone that used to be her friends and even some of her friends said she's always been one to cheat and lie. I know that he is not biologically mine but I am very attached to him. I have been there since day 1. He calls me dad. He knows who I am, its not as simple as it seems. Thanks for your input though Appreciate you taking your time to read everything.

[Fallenandbroken]

Parts of yOur story ring true to mine. Was with a girl for nearly six years and got attached to her son. When she left and got with someone else within a couple of weeks I was shut out of his life and not seen him since or spoke to either of them in months. I've been replaced without second thought and it sucks. I don't think he's gonna put up with the sh*t I put up with and I put up with a lot and forgave her everytime. I'm left heartbroken and she's fuc*ing her new man.

 

I'm sure she'll regret leaving me and I'm sure your ex will regret leaving you. Best advice is move on that's what I'm trying to do. It is hard but it slowly gets easier. Keep ya chin up and stay strong.

[Tree_Salmon]

I really want to read this story but I give up after the first 2 sentences. You have to space these into paragraphs man.

[jthiff]

I can't seem to find any edit button for this. So mabe if you can just copy and paste it into notebook or anything and space it out in chunks to make it easier to read? Sorry guys

[Tree_Salmon]

I can't seem to find any edit button for this. So mabe if you can just copy and paste it into notebook or anything and space it out in chunks to make it easier to read? Sorry guys

 

Nobody is going to do your work for you.

Repost it properly and i bet you'll get way more views and advice.