pteromom Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 She is the younger sister of a friend of mine. Should I pursue this or let it go? I don't think the age is a big deal, but what about asking your friend if it would be ok to take his sister out? If you are a nice guy with good intentions, I am sure he will agree. Just an idea! 2
Author ptp Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 (edited) @ ChatroomHero Most people would say she is out of my league and that does make me think if I am setting up myself for failure. I have known her brother since I was about 21 and he does know my dating history, but there is nothing in there that he would be concerned about. He has also seen me interact with women while drunk and there is nothing that I am worried about. Also, if she isn't interested the worst thing that would happen is I would go to a few less parties that most of my friends attend because, I would feel awkward. Also, it would be embarrassing since everybody would know I asked her out. Her brother isn't going to stop being my friend because I asked her out and I doubt he would be mad. More than likely he would just make fun of me mercilessly. We aren't very close friends and I have often heard him talk about guys asking her out, since she is very attractive, he is used to it by now. Edited August 16, 2012 by ptp
xxoo Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 What do people think of the fact that if it was meant to happen it would have already? Does that hold merit? If she was attracted to me she would have let me know at some point? So it is fair to say she isn't attracted to me? She may have shown interest that you didn't notice. Just ask her out, but don't be too serious about it. Ask her out for mini golf. If she asks, "You mean, a date?" say, "yep, a date!" If she says no, don't sweat it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained
kiss_andmakeup Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 6 years is nothing if she's mature. I say go for it. Yes, there's a risk of rejection, but life is about taking chances. A lot of girls are way too shy to let a guy know that they're attracted to him...especially younger girls in their early 20's. If you're waiting for some type of "sign" you might never get one. So just ask her out! 1
Hopeful30 Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 I think you should try. If she says no, it will only be awkward if you let it. If she says no then just keep bring friendly like how you were before and dont pay any extra attention to her after that. If you pretend it never happened, then i guess she would to.
cerridwen Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 What do people think of the fact that if it was meant to happen it would have already? Does that hold merit? If she was attracted to me she would have let me know at some point? So it is fair to say she isn't attracted to me? It's not necessarily true that because it hasn't happened, it can't. To use another clever poster's analogy, her attraction may be like a dial versus a switch. For switch people, they are either interested or they are not; more snap decisions are involved. But she may be a woman who becomes attracted slowly--turning the dial up on her attraction level as she learns more about a man. It might not have happened simply because you haven't been on her radar, which gives her the chance to ponder the idea, and develop attraction. 3
eleanorhurting Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 It's not necessarily true that because it hasn't happened, it can't. To use another clever poster's analogy, her attraction may be like a dial versus a switch. For switch people, they are either interested or they are not; more snap decisions are involved. But she may be a woman who becomes attracted slowly--turning the dial up on her attraction level as she learns more about a man. It might not have happened simply because you haven't been on her radar, which gives her the chance to ponder the idea, and develop attraction. I think this is the way I have been in all my relationships. It is definitely a possibility.
cerridwen Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 (edited) I think this is the way I have been in all my relationships. It is definitely a possibility. I'm the same way which is why I especially appreciated MrCastle's analogy of a dial. Credit to MC. Edited August 16, 2012 by cerridwen
Author ptp Posted August 17, 2012 Author Posted August 17, 2012 It's not necessarily true that because it hasn't happened, it can't. To use another clever poster's analogy, her attraction may be like a dial versus a switch. For switch people, they are either interested or they are not; more snap decisions are involved. But she may be a woman who becomes attracted slowly--turning the dial up on her attraction level as she learns more about a man. It might not have happened simply because you haven't been on her radar, which gives her the chance to ponder the idea, and develop attraction. K, I am going to commit to paying her more attention. I don't know if I will ask her out, but I will try to talk to her more. It shouldn't be too hard since there will be only 4-5 of us. I hope i can easily escalate the conversation, that is something I find difficult. I get stuck on the friendly tier and can't move up.
cerridwen Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 K, I am going to commit to paying her more attention. I don't know if I will ask her out, but I will try to talk to her more. It shouldn't be too hard since there will be only 4-5 of us. I hope i can easily escalate the conversation, that is something I find difficult. I get stuck on the friendly tier and can't move up. Well then this will make good practice!
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