GaBoy Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 So me and a co worker have been geting real flirty at work. She always initiates talking and is always laughing and having a good time with me. We have hung out a few times outside of work. So I started thinking that maybe she likes me and I wanted to try and start to get something going. I ask her if she wants to hang out one night and she says yes. So right before I came over she told me another male co worker was gona be ther and asked if it was cool! I told her yeah, so I still headed over. She never talked about them being together or anything like that. When I got there hey were snuggled together and talked about how he spent the night, and you could tell they were a thing. So what I want to know is why would she flirt and lead me on, she had to know what I was interested in, and than does that. Now I'm second guessing myself and feeling dumb. It just doesn't make sense.
ptp Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 She was just using you to boost her self-esteem, I have come across lots of women like that. Don't sweat it.
CC12 Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 So what I want to know is why would she flirt and lead me on, she had to know what I was interested in, and than does that. I understand you're confused and upset by it not working out with this girl, but I think you had some faulty expectations of her. Flirting does not equal an obligation to hook up with you. Flirting with someone doesn't mean that they are no longer able to date other people. Flirting doesn't always mean that the person wants to hook up with you. You said, "she had to know what I was interested in." I don't think you should assume she knew you only wanted one thing from her, because (hopefully) she values herself and believes that people actually enjoy her company and like her as a person. And if she did know that about you? Well, first of all, she probably would not find that attractive, and second, so what if she knew? Her knowing that about you does not mean she needs to make decisions based on what you want from her. I know it's pretty natural to feel somehow wronged after being rejected. It's easy to blame the other person, but that doesn't make it right. She didn't betray or deceive you. She just didn't hook up with you. Nothing wrong with that. That's just the way it works out, sometimes. 1
Casablanca Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 I understand you're confused and upset by it not working out with this girl, but I think you had some faulty expectations of her. Flirting does not equal an obligation to hook up with you. Flirting with someone doesn't mean that they are no longer able to date other people. Flirting doesn't always mean that the person wants to hook up with you. You said, "she had to know what I was interested in." I don't think you should assume she knew you only wanted one thing from her, because (hopefully) she values herself and believes that people actually enjoy her company and like her as a person. Where did the OP say he wanted to hook up with her? He said he thought she might like him, so he pursued. Never did he imply he only wanted sex
veggirl Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Don't feel dumb! Flirting indicates interest in something other than friendship. Every man and woman knows that. For someone to flirt and then be all "doh what lol I am actually dating this guy" (in words or actions) is lame as hell and she knew what she was doing. She just wants attention from men, probably any man she can get it from.
phineas Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 She was just using you to boost her self-esteem, I have come across lots of women like that. Don't sweat it. this. Ignore her. she doesn't deserve your friendship anymore. 1
CC12 Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Where did the OP say he wanted to hook up with her? He said he thought she might like him, so he pursued. Never did he imply he only wanted sex I meant "hook up" as in any sort of romance. I realize others may use that phrase differently, but I didn't mean specifically sex.
mortensorchid Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 Yes, she was using you to boost her ego up and make her feel good about herself. Especially when she flaunted the lover before you. Think of it like this, 2 major things that you are benefiting from this situation: 1) Coworker - Whether this gal was truly special or not, seeing a person you work with (as friendship or as a romantic relationship) tends to be dangerous. I learned the hard way that one does not come to work in order to make friends, because it's just best to keep your work life and your social life seperate. If you had been with this woman, you will never leave one another because you are in the same physical space together. 2) Ego Booster - You would've discovered this somehow anyway that she was using you to stroke her ego. That happened to me a few summers ago. I had known this guy for a bit, we went out once. He told me to text him, which I did a few days later. Whoever it was on the other end of the texts told me that I had to wrong number, she (if they were telling the truth) was his cousin's gf and he had been using her phone. Then texted to me that he went back to the mother of his kids. I have no idea if this person was who they said they were, but I texted back "I see, thank you and sorry to bother you". Then he unfriended me from Facebook. Guess it was true.
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