UFKK2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Oh where to start this amazing tale... ------------------------------------------------------------A scientist and his Girl------------------------------------------------------------ So as a freshman in college I started to date a girl I knew from HS who ended up at the same university. We dated for 4 years and it was relatively smooth sailing after the first few months of gaining trust / getting comfortable. Come the end of college, I was going onto graduate courses and she didn't have a job. So she picked an internship close (~2 hours) to where I was going that is going to last through the rest of the year. When college ended, something definitely changed. She got an inferiority complex per say. She was extremely worried that since I was leaving to get my PhD at a new, bigger university, I would want to break up and date all the hotter, smarter girls there. This couldn't be more from the truth. I'm a shy guy with plenty of anxiety problems when it comes to social gatherings (you know, your stereotypical Big Bang Theory scientist with good looks and a college USTA ranking). On top of no interest in a "single" life, I honest to god loved this girl. We had never talked about marriage b/c we're both pretty young (22) and I wanted to finish my graduate studies first, but the thought was always there that I would end up with her. But ya, this inferiority complex was the start. She moved down to our new state first (about 2 months before I was planning on moving in) and neither of us enjoyed the separation too much. We would talk on the phone / skype / occasional video games together which helped, but some tension did rise and we fought every now and then. I recall only one major fight that maybe lasted one day (Somewhere after the 2 year mark in our relationship we've got really good at not fighting and knowing each other enough to not push buttons). After the 2 months (end of July), I moved down as well, we've been able to spend about 3 days out of the week together every week for the last month. Now for the juicy part: ------------------------------------------------------------The Betrayal------------------------------------------------------------ About 15 days ago, something terrible happened. My poor pecker started tingling. With never having this happened before I immediately freaked out, started googling every tingling-related problem I could find, and talked to my GF. I came to the conclusion that I had an UTI, as I know my GF has those occasionally and the internet said guys get them decently often. As my doctor appointment neared, another symptom came to light, I started getting wet spots on my undies; my poor little guy clearly had a decent infection. With more consultation with my best friend google, a UTI was still in the running, but something more sinister reared its head. Gonorrhea? Chlamydia? WTF! I immediately called my GF and told her what I had found and asked her time and time again if there was ANY way she could have given me a STI. She reassured over and over again that there was nothing conspicuous on her part to be worried about (based on the title I'm sure most of you can just laugh at this part). The day before my appointment, my symptoms were worse and all my manhood was hurting. I gave her one last call before I went to bed to ask about anything she wanted to tell me and again a firm no. So I went to bed to be awoken at 3 AM with a call from a crying GF who was outside my door. She came in, cried her little heart out, explained to me the following: About a month ago, during the fight mention above, she THOUGHT we were broken up / seperated / done / kaput. That night she went out, got drunk, had sex with a foreign guy in her internship. She said that about halfway through she started crying, had to stop, told the guy never to talk to her again, and went home (This part I'm not convinced on b/c after this, I don't know if honesty is her strong suit, but she did sound pretty certain). So I went to the clinic, they tested me and I hear back in a few days (Friday I think). They said they're about 100% sure its the 'clap' and gave me anti-biotics for that. If the test comes back positive, I'm going to go through the battery of tests for every STD out there (Great start to a new school year am I right?). ------------------------------------------------------------Plead for Help------------------------------------------------------------ I'm looking for some advice from people who have gone through this, know friends who have been in similar circumstances, or if you're just feeling very sympathetic and want to help out. The moment this girl told me she cheated on me, I pretty much looked past it. I've been in love with her for over 4 years, she's been my better-half for all of college. She was my first love (but not my first "love" if you know what I mean). I am hating myself right now for thinking that I should try and work through it or forgive her and move on. Every time my pecker hurts its a reminder that she did this to me. She betrayed me. She was irresponsible in not telling me that she cheated on me / get tested after having unprotected sex which resulted in my infection. Hopefully its just G/C (ha never thought I'd say that) and not something more life threatening. I love her, but **** she honestly hurt me pretty bad; emotionally and physically. She keeps telling me that she is SO sorry and she loves me SO much and she will try to make it up to me EVERY day. This is actually a text she just sent me (and if this is from the girl I thought I knew, it is pretty sincere): "...I'd love the chance to talk to you, but if not I understand. I love you and you're right, you don't deserve any of this. I want to tell you about my appointment to give you some peace of mind about the immediate situation at least" (She went and got tested today) "I can't remember the last time I felt physical pain from an emotion and my body literally hurts every time I think of what I've done to you. I only hope that someday I can repair the damage I've done. I vow that I will work to do so everyday for as long as it takes. I wish I wasn't such an idiot ... I love you and hope that I can truly prove it to you one day. PS: Don't drink while on anti-biotics" And while she is back in her city at the moment, she did come with me to the doctor and offer to pay for all the bills / medicine. She also stuck around for the last two days to try and comfort me a bit, but I told her I needed some time. I think she is planning on coming back Saturday, but sure if I should tell her to wait a week or not. On one hand I really want to see her b/c she is my best friend and I need someone right now, but she is the person that idiotic / irresponsible / genuinely unthoughtful behavior got me into this mess. ------------------------------------------------------------Conclusion------------------------------------------------------------ Sorry for such a long rant, I think it helped just getting it off my chest and venting to all of you anonymous, but genuine readers. Please let me know what you guys think I should do, or share similar experiences and how you handled them. I think one thing that is getting me stuck on looking past is that she says that she thought we were broken up (but still the same day? Come on!) I appreciate anyone who reads this, replies, or simply just see's the titles and shakes their head in disapproval. Thanks.
CarrieT Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Way too long to read - can I have the Cliffs Notes version?
Author UFKK2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 (edited) Ch1: Dated girl for 4 years, love(d) her to death Ch2: Got in fight, thought we broke up, unprotected sex, didn't tell me or get tested, gave me the clap Ch3: I love her, but she potentially hurt me for the rest of my life, what to do, what to do I think the LONG version is better though =[ If this too long ... tldr: gf cheat clap, help? But honestly, its so long b/c that's my story. I want help on my story, not a cliff noted general 'googable' situation. Anyone can see gf cheat clap, help? and just be like yo dump that ho... =[ Edited August 16, 2012 by UFKK2012
twosadthings Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 -you remember a fight, she remembers a break-up -you don't believe her account of the sex with the foreign guy -she gives you the clap -your 22 years old and have no physical binds to this person -your starting a doctoral program that will take a lot of your time and effort Bail out now. 1
veggirl Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 :sick:That is so screwed up. You know, she would never have told you this if you didn't catch something from her. Unprotected sex with another guy is unforgivable!! It's disgusting! She didn't think you were broken up, that is just her excuse so you will forgive her! You gave her so many opportunities to come clean. She didn't until right before you went to the Dr. She is a cheater and she has no respect for you. No excuses. You need to leave her, you are too young for this BS and are starting a new chapter in your life...that's exciting, start it without her.
Radu Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 The break-up is damage control on her part. If not for the STI, she would not have told you. Even when you got the STI and you progressively got worse, she did not tell you untill just before the appointment, in a show of 'crying' [they mean nothing in this case, more damage control / self-defense mechanism]. Finish it with her, G/C can affect reproductive ability.
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