Mme. Chaucer Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 I always chase women. Usually I tell them that I saw them on their bike and then went home to beat off. Works every time. It's also cool when you are chasing after them as they pedal away on their bike, and you are driving your car. Just stay about 10 feet behind them and drive at the identical pace they're pedaling. It's enchanting.
AD1980 Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 their chasing is not as successful as they would hope. I understand why they have a hard time chasing but if they learned to care less about what woman thought and just went after what they wanted, I think they would see only growing success even if they didn't get all teh women they may . Cant you say the same for women? Why are women allowed to have fragile egos as good reason they dont want to chase but not Men?
Greznog Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 Cant you say the same for women? Why are women allowed to have fragile egos as good reason they dont want to chase but not Men? It's because of the patriarchy, certainly not because most women have an ego as fragile as a snowflake.
RiverRunning Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 I used to chase and pursue much more actively until the entire idea of "He's just not that into you" started going around. Unless he's a shut-in or a teenager, a guy who is into you likely isn't just going to sit back and not say anything. Eventually, wittingly or not, you're going to begin to get closer - if you're interested in him and he's interested in you. I don't feel that in the majority of cases, it's beneficial to women to ask a man to be her boyfriend, to propose marriage, or anything else of that nature. She can ask men out - "Would you like to get some coffee?" - but in general, I think he should be the first to initiate asking her out on dates. But, a lot of this is from my own experiences. In the past, when I've made the first move, men seemed to take it for granted a majority of the time. If they weren't willing to put in effort at the initial stages, they won't put it in for the rest of the relationship, either. Please note that I never said, "Women, don't do anything AT ALL." I'm just saying that I think it works out best when men do the initial leading. If after that they take turns asking each other out and the like, whatever. 1
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 Women only hate the traditional gender roles that involve them in an undesirable way. For example she wants to be able to work and make the same as a man, but he has to pay for dates because this benefits her. She wants to be free to do whatever she wants, but she expects men to help women and children leave the sinking ship before they do. They want to be strong and independent, but then demand the state forcibly funnel assets from former partners into their bank accounts. That's so much drivel. I want to choose the gender roles (really, I'd like to eschew the term "gender roles" if we could) that suit me, AND I want ALL people, including men, to do the same. If a woman wants to be paid the same as a man who does the same work that she does, AND wants to date a man who wants to pay for the dates, good for her. I hope she finds one. I mean, one who WANTS the same dynamic, so that they can have a good time together or maybe even be a match. If a man wants to stay home and work on his novel, raise kids, dress up in his wife's lingerie or watch Internet porn or whatever while a woman works all day in a factory and brings home all the bacon, that is EXCELLENT with me, too, as long as BOTH PEOPLE LIKE IT THE WAY IT IS. And you guys must live in some pretty lame communities, because my life is quite full of people who have successfully redefined "gender roles" to fit their own lives and relationships, without whining about it.
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 And you guys must live in some pretty lame communities, because my life is quite full of people who have successfully redefined "gender roles" to fit their own lives and relationships, without whining about it. I guess so. Because where I'm from heterosexual men should be masculine. Heterosexual women? Doesn't really matter. They can be feminine or a tomboy or anything in between.
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 I used to chase and pursue much more actively until the entire idea of "He's just not that into you" started going around. Unless he's a shut-in or a teenager, a guy who is into you likely isn't just going to sit back and not say anything. Eventually, wittingly or not, you're going to begin to get closer - if you're interested in him and he's interested in you. I don't feel that in the majority of cases, it's beneficial to women to ask a man to be her boyfriend, to propose marriage, or anything else of that nature. She can ask men out - "Would you like to get some coffee?" - but in general, I think he should be the first to initiate asking her out on dates. But, a lot of this is from my own experiences. In the past, when I've made the first move, men seemed to take it for granted a majority of the time. If they weren't willing to put in effort at the initial stages, they won't put it in for the rest of the relationship, either. Please note that I never said, "Women, don't do anything AT ALL." I'm just saying that I think it works out best when men do the initial leading. If after that they take turns asking each other out and the like, whatever. This. There are guys who will be into you but are too shy, insecure or what have you to do anything about it. But, by and large those aren't the type of men you (or any other woman) would want to date.
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 If a PERSON is confident and aggressive enough, and WANTS something enough, they are likely to go after it with gusto. Then there are the more passive among us, who wait for things to come to us. Maybe testosterone promotes more aggression - so they say. And maybe that is why men have typically been in the role of "pursuer" more than women, and society has formed many constructs around that. But I am drinking any evo-pshcye kool-aid. If you don't feel like following the old "norms" is good for you then YOU NEED TO BEHAVE DIFFERENTLY. You have a brain, you have free will and freedom. Screw what women OR men "demand."
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 I guess so. Because where I'm from heterosexual men should be masculine. Heterosexual women? Doesn't really matter. They can be feminine or a tomboy or anything in between. Well, I guess the "left coast" offers a wider parameter of accepted behavior for you fellers. Or we are just more experimental in general.
Greznog Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 If a PERSON is confident and aggressive enough, and WANTS something enough, they are likely to go after it with gusto. Then there are the more passive among us, who wait for things to come to us. Maybe testosterone promotes more aggression - so they say. And maybe that is why men have typically been in the role of "pursuer" more than women, and society has formed many constructs around that. But I am drinking any evo-pshcye kool-aid. If you don't feel like following the old "norms" is good for you then YOU NEED TO BEHAVE DIFFERENTLY. You have a brain, you have free will and freedom. Screw what women OR men "demand." It's because women understand the concept of the person who cares least has the most power.
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 Well, I guess the "left coast" offers a wider parameter of accepted behavior for you fellers. Or we are just more experimental in general. I don't know. I don't necessarily have a problem with expectations of masculinity. I do think there's a reason for them and it's usually a good one. I was just commenting on how things were.
Content Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 Maybe some of you would do better with women if you didnt naively beleive that every women likes the same exact traits in a guy I know plenty of feminine men in relatinships,plenty of masculine ones,plenty of loud "alpha"[hate these bs terms] ones plenty of laid back "beta" ones Be yourself and youll find a match instead of trying to live up to some superhuman version of a male you see in movies and think every women wants or has that..
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 It's because women understand the concept of the person who cares least has the most power. I bet you have never had real understanding of even one single woman - much less the entire worldwide population of us!
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 I don't know. I don't necessarily have a problem with expectations of masculinity. I do think there's a reason for them and it's usually a good one. I was just commenting on how things were. Well, this is way off topic, but I get the impression that you are seriously depressed and that if you addressed that, your whole life could change for the better in a dramatic way. Just saying.
Jamesblame Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 (edited) I think we can agree that with 6.7 billion people on the planet, we each have many potential partners. I know that this is one of the reasons why I'm hesitant to spend too much time pursuing a partner who seems uninterested. Key word is "seems". In reality, I take a laisez faire approach to getting to know women. When single, I date several women at once. Usually about 3 or 4. I don't sleep with all of them as much as go on small mini-dates. The ones that seem interested are the ones I seriously pursue and date. It makes no sense to focus on one potentially uninterested woman. I also don't spend that much money on the first couple of "dates". Again, it doesn't make sense to waste money. (I do pay though). My life consists of : 1. Family 2. Friends 3. Work 4. Personal hobbies/pursuits 5. Socializing/Going out/ Having fun It really doesn't have that much time or room for uninterested women. By definition, you only chase things that are trying to get away. I believe in clear communication. Many men and women have been hurt by past romantic experiences. I understand why women mistrust men's claims of not being solely interested in sex. I think most adult women are also understanding of many of our fears about being used by women. To each their own. The idea of chasing a woman comes from the notion that women are gems that need to be treasured and valued for the sole fact that they have a vagina. The majority of men know this to be utter bullcrap, and are only interested in treating amazing women like the gems they are (the vast minority of people are such gems). There is a level of arrogance in assuming that women should all be treated as incredible people. I can count on my fingers how many truly, sophisticated, beautiful, talented, and incredible women I've had the pleasure of knowing. I would never debase them by pretending they were like most women. If you want to be treated like a princess be a princess, if you want to get the great girl, be a great guy. Edited August 27, 2012 by Jamesblame 1
Feelsgoodman Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 What's the reason you don't chase sometimes? My guess is that she's way too insecure to do that (despite all the "empowering" feminist mumbo jumbo that permeates her posts).
thatone Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 Until they get bored. IMO, the man should be attracted enough to risk pursuing. Anything less, and he'll grow bored in time and wonder if he can do better. I've seen this play out with male friends more than once. Maybe we should clarify "chase". Her response should be encouraging. Playing hard to get doesn't need to be a factor. There are two types of men, the ones who tell you when they get bored and the ones who don't say anything when they get bored. The boredom waxes and wanes but rest assured that EVERY man has gotten bored with a woman he has been in a relationship with at some time or another.
AD1980 Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 The whole chase thing is such bs becasue its put the women on a pedestal to where the guy has to blindly beleive a women he barely knows is definitely in it for his best interest while the man has to prove himself worthy and that he has good intentions to the women There are just as many bad women as there are men out there both sides should put in equal effort and prove to the other one they have good intentions from the begining The chasing thing makes it seem like women are all inhernetly good and trustworthy and men are not till proven otherwise
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