kaylan Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Correction: men grow bored of women after they've done a bit of the in and out with them. Not if its a women they genuinely like. My last post stands. 1
espec10001 Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Some of the women commenting here, have not only been chased a lot, they've also been "caught". I wonder why you guys won't listen to them? Hey, I'm not complaining, I know how it works. All you got to do is observe animals and watch what they do. Male rabbits chase female rabbits. That's nature. Usually though, with humans, the attractive female is chased by multiple guys, so it's not really the women that's the issue at all; it's dealing with the other guys and having to fight them off to claim the prize. I gotta give it to the women though; they have guys beating each other up over them and that takes serious skills!
espec10001 Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Not if its a women they genuinely like. My last post stands. Yeah right. "Oh, I'm such a genuine guy let me get to know you." Riiiight, let's see how genuine you are after you nail her some.
PJKino Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Some of the women commenting here, have not only been chased a lot, they've also been "caught". I wonder why you guys won't listen to them? Some of us arent attratcive enough to win a chase instead were called creeps for trying
snug.bunny Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 And you wonder why men won't chase you She's married with babies, you boobie.
veggirl Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 What do I consider the chase? Flirting, creating interest, perceiving interest, acting on that interest.....getting the girl! Hmmm. That all sounds kinda...sunshiney rainbows to me. What you're leaving out is the expectations of he must initiate X phone calls and he must ask me on the first X dates and he must pay for the first X dates. not to mention, what is the woman's "job" in this scenario? She would presumably need to flirt, create interest, perceive interest and act on interest as well, no? So they are both chasing, if that is what chasing is?
phineas Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Hmmm. That all sounds kinda...sunshiney rainbows to me. What you're leaving out is the expectations of he must initiate X phone calls and he must ask me on the first X dates and he must pay for the first X dates. not to mention, what is the woman's "job" in this scenario? She would presumably need to flirt, create interest, perceive interest and act on interest as well, no? So they are both chasing, if that is what chasing is? Chasing to me is putting in effort over an extended length of time to get a date & not getting a date. I used to tolerate flaking, them not returning my calls for days or texts, or canceling last min, ect. and eventually I just got disgusted with myself for being so damn pathetic & then when i'd give up & a week later they start blowing up my phone wanting to hang out? Well, now i'm disgusted with them. 5
carhill Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 What is the woman's "job" in this scenario? Letting him, hence 'the chase'. To answer the OP from a personal perspective, I don't chase anymore simply because I've found more fulfilling and productive things to do with my life. Still enjoy women; just don't chase them. 2
Anela Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Some of us arent attratcive enough to win a chase instead were called creeps for trying I've been rejected, too. I know how it is. I've also been rejected by bitter, insecure guys, who didn't have the cojones to express their interest, or thought they needed a harem to boost their egos; if I hadn't been so down on myself, thanks to my own experiences, I might have dated guys who were/are considered out of my league (who knows whether or not that's true, either?) - I was told that one was smitten with me, and he was always kind to me, but I didn't believe it, because he didn't actually say it. I just don't know anymore; I do know that I'm tired of being reminded of how I'm just not good enough. I don't play games, I'm very shy, I smile and laugh a lot (but then freeze when spoken to). Approaching men doesn't work for me, much of the time.
kaylan Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Yeah right. "Oh, I'm such a genuine guy let me get to know you." Riiiight, let's see how genuine you are after you nail her some. Do you have trouble understanding simple posts? If a girl actually likes a girl he wont bail. If he isnt into her he will. I said that in my original post. Read it slow again if you are having trouble understanding.Hey, I'm not complaining, I know how it works. All you got to do is observe animals and watch what they do. Male rabbits chase female rabbits. That's nature. Usually though, with humans, the attractive female is chased by multiple guys, so it's not really the women that's the issue at all; it's dealing with the other guys and having to fight them off to claim the prize. I gotta give it to the women though; they have guys beating each other up over them and that takes serious skills! And attractive men are chased down by women. So whats your point?
xxoo Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Hmmm. That all sounds kinda...sunshiney rainbows to me. What you're leaving out is the expectations of he must initiate X phone calls and he must ask me on the first X dates and he must pay for the first X dates. not to mention, what is the woman's "job" in this scenario? She would presumably need to flirt, create interest, perceive interest and act on interest as well, no? So they are both chasing, if that is what chasing is? I'm thinking of in person, not phone calls. It's got to be very difficult to generate interest over the phone.... But, yes, treating to dates can be part of it. Maybe that's a part that has changed, as dating has grown more egalitarian? Her "job" is to put out good bait (be worth pursuing). Yes, she should be flirting and showing interest, too, but one can still be chasing the other. My H and I have been married for years, and we still enjoy the "chase" dynamic for fun--even though there is no question that he's going to catch me 2
sweetheart5381 Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 I'm thinking of in person, not phone calls. It's got to be very difficult to generate interest over the phone.... But, yes, treating to dates can be part of it. Maybe that's a part that has changed, as dating has grown more egalitarian? Her "job" is to put out good bait (be worth pursuing). Yes, she should be flirting and showing interest, too, but one can still be chasing the other. My H and I have been married for years, and we still enjoy the "chase" dynamic for fun--even though there is no question that he's going to catch me Forget "jobs". If it is mutual, each will tempt in their own way and if the other understands them they will tempt in return. "Chasing" one another is the sort of relationship that lasts. Anything less, and there is no real fun for either participant. I like how you explained it about you and your H. It's give and take that will make or break the deal. It really is a dance in the end.
phineas Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 Some of the women commenting here, have not only been chased a lot, they've also been "caught". I wonder why you guys won't listen to them? Well, probably because they married back when dinosaurs roamed the earth & when a man caught her, he clubbed her. It's a different time now. Chasing never got me the girl. Giving her a butt-load of attention then falling off the face of the earth when she didn't reciprocate & dating someone else got me the girl more often than not.
Bristolius Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 The term chase is undefined. To me it means the man is moving towards a woman, and she is moving away from him in response. I'm guessing some posters have a different idea of what chase means.
Anela Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 Well, probably because they married back when dinosaurs roamed the earth & when a man caught her, he clubbed her. It's a different time now. We're carrying the clubs now? Or pepper spray. 1
Woggle Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 What is so wrong with two people meeting and then deciding they like each other and building it from there without the game playing and all the nonsense? That seems like the best kind of foundation to build a relationship on or does that make too much sense? 3
veggirl Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 What is so wrong with two people meeting and then deciding they like each other and building it from there without the game playing and all the nonsense? That seems like the best kind of foundation to build a relationship on or does that make too much sense? Yep. I feel like the game playing and chasing comes into play only when 2 people aren't sure about each other or one is interested and the other isn't. Again, when it's right, it isn't so difficult.
somedude81 Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 Question for you all: Why don't men chase women anymore? Because, It Does Not Work. Chasing a woman is a waste of time and energy.
JohnP82 Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 For me I don't chase because to me it feels like convincing. I don't want to convince someone to be with me. In my two big relationships I chased them and eventually caught them only for it to end terribly in the end. For me I believe that if mutual interest isn't instant, or close to, then it's a waste of time and will not work. 1
somedude81 Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 Man these threads are depressing. This world, is depressing.
joystickd Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 Man these threads are depressing. This world, is depressing. Why would you let these threads get you down?
Radu Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 I was having a chat with someone not too long ago, I made mention of a former friend of mine who was one of the most relentless chasers I had ever met. She ended up moving twice within six months for guys, one was a former bf who she was convinced would come back to her. THen she rebounded and more or less demanded that the rebound man marry her. They did, and it's 15 years later and they are divorced. Granted, she is an extreme example, but I think guys are used to women chasing after them. They say that they like it when women ask them out or when they pursue them, but I don't think that's true. If you call them or act like you're interested in them, it's as good as over. Act hungry and they get scared off or treat you badly. And all that talk show nonsense we have been fed for the last 30 years - to tell others how you feel, to be honest, show your heart to others - it's so bogus. People will take that information (as well as the most trivial things like saying "My favorite color is blue") and just rip you to shreds with it. Turn the tables on them by being elusive and mysterious, they still don't know how to respond to it. If you ask to be treated nicer (have them pay for meals, pull your chair out, etc.) than they would a buddy, then they are kind of blown away by it. They act like "What is this?!" and move onto someone else. I feel like I can't win either way. Easier to play the numbers game. Chasing a girl is just ... manipulative.
Peter Attis Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 I'm not understanding this. It seems like any time a guy is even a little bit sad about being turned down by a girl, the response is, "Shut up. She doesn't owe you her vagina." (Which she doesn't, just to be clear). But if you're gonna say things like that, why would you then turn around and ask why a guy doesn't chase you? He's not chasing you because you made it clear you weren't interested in him like that, so by that same logic, why would he persist?
sweetheart5381 Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 In broad terms, if a woman doesn't give you an initial sign that she wants you in your early meetings, that's never going to change. Men who chase 1 woman exclusively wind up sexless and humiliated-the friend zone, all while men who she chased are sleeping with her and doing nothing at all to get sex. I think that without that initial physical attraction on the woman's side, it's difficult to win her over with your personality with time and persistence as happened back when the world seemed to work at a slower pace and women were more concerned about what kind of man they slept with (before the convenient contraception and feminism), but today people are looking for instant gratification, or immediate/first-glance 'chemistry'. Not to mention the erosion of gender roles. Some men don't chase women like they used to, but women today don't do a lot of things women used to do. There is also a stigma these days around heterosexual men who are flirty. Every day 100 men chat up that 20 year old supermarket cashier, every day 100 men are categorized as creeps or sex-fiends unless this woman is single and these men meet her narrowly defined standards for what she is physically attracted to. Who wants to be an easily forgotten number to another person? it's a devestating feeling for my generation of men who are taught that a woman's opinion of them is everything. Imagine if a compliment you give to someone thinking it would make their day, actually gets you a nasty look or a casual blow off, or worse someone who takes this as a green light to pseudo-flirt with you for free drinks, which is what happens to men who chase women. I have to disagree. I met a man at work that interested me 2 yrs ago. I was shy and so was he. We slowly got to know one another. I dated his best friend for awhile and this man remained my friend. No flirting during this time, just talking. When his friend broke up with me 8 months ago he stayed out of it. He remained friends with both of us. We continued to talk and get to know one another and eventually made it clear to one another that we desired one another intensely. He won me over with his personality. The sexual chemistry was always there, but he offers more as a great person. Just because a woman does not show her interest initially does not mean that we are not interested. Sometimes circumstances get in the way. He and I both chase one another... the natural progression of a relationship. It is not one-sided, but mutual.
Anela Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 Your post translates too: He only were attracted after you and his friend broke up hence him playing second fiddle. How convenient of an excuse. You werent too shy to date his best friend though ? Right ? Maybe his friend asked her out, and he didn't: she said that he was shy, too.
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