dsw31 Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 Well I dated a guy for about a month & broke it off with him a few weeks ago.Told him I'm emotionally struggling & can't do it at this point.He said he will miss me like crazy but will respect my wishes. Then about 2 weeks later, he texts me from a different phone number saying he hopes I am well & let him know if we can play a game of tennis.I didn't know who it was so I responded asking who it was.He said he got a new phone & we had small talk & I told him I would meet up as JUST FRIENDS but not to expect anything romantic from me.He agreed. We met up the other night & had coffee & then watched a fight on TV.The whole night I was extremely distant & made no hint of wanting anything more than friendship.At the end of the night,he wanted to talk.Wanted to know if I was not attracted to him anymore.I said,it's not that.I am just honestly not over my ex & hanging with him made me miss my ex even more.He flipped out! He was yelling & saying I can't believe it! So when we were having sex,you were thinking of your ex?He said I was a liar & said he really thought we had something special.Blahblahblah.I was actually a little frightened so I played it Cool & finally got rid of him.He even said that he was sorry for over reacting but his emotions got the best of him.He said he understands how I feel about my ex because that's how he feels about me.I said"it's not the same! I was with him for 3 years,we were just seeing each other for a month" So...a couple of days go by & now he has been a text message terrorist!There's way too much for me to type here but basically saying that I'm a liar & how could I take him into this world of sex & that It's my fault "things are spiraling out of control"(his words) I ignored about 10 messages & then I replied this morning.I said"listen up...you are acting crazy & I don't want you to ever message me again"He replied"saying that it's not crazy,he just wants closure.Deal with it"Then said"You were boring anyway,later" Mind you this guy is 43 years old! I thought that was the last of it but he just messaged me from the dating site I met him on.It said"Why are you still on here?You're still in love with your ex.Undateable,remember?" So.....I am getting more & more angry & even disguisted by his behavior.I have the urge to tell him exactly why he will never ever be good enough for me & that by his behavior I am just totally repulsed but I don't wanna start a barrage of messages between us. Does anyone have any advice? I don't know what to do besides either ignore or be mean.
Breck Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Well I dated a guy for about a month & broke it off with him a few weeks ago.Told him I'm emotionally struggling & can't do it at this point.He said he will miss me like crazy but will respect my wishes. Then about 2 weeks later, he texts me from a different phone number saying he hopes I am well & let him know if we can play a game of tennis.I didn't know who it was so I responded asking who it was.He said he got a new phone & we had small talk & I told him I would meet up as JUST FRIENDS but not to expect anything romantic from me.He agreed. We met up the other night & had coffee & then watched a fight on TV.The whole night I was extremely distant & made no hint of wanting anything more than friendship.At the end of the night,he wanted to talk.Wanted to know if I was not attracted to him anymore.I said,it's not that.I am just honestly not over my ex & hanging with him made me miss my ex even more.He flipped out! He was yelling & saying I can't believe it! So when we were having sex,you were thinking of your ex?He said I was a liar & said he really thought we had something special.Blahblahblah.I was actually a little frightened so I played it Cool & finally got rid of him.He even said that he was sorry for over reacting but his emotions got the best of him.He said he understands how I feel about my ex because that's how he feels about me.I said"it's not the same! I was with him for 3 years,we were just seeing each other for a month" So...a couple of days go by & now he has been a text message terrorist!There's way too much for me to type here but basically saying that I'm a liar & how could I take him into this world of sex & that It's my fault "things are spiraling out of control"(his words) I ignored about 10 messages & then I replied this morning.I said"listen up...you are acting crazy & I don't want you to ever message me again"He replied"saying that it's not crazy,he just wants closure.Deal with it"Then said"You were boring anyway,later" Mind you this guy is 43 years old! I thought that was the last of it but he just messaged me from the dating site I met him on.It said"Why are you still on here?You're still in love with your ex.Undateable,remember?" So.....I am getting more & more angry & even disguisted by his behavior.I have the urge to tell him exactly why he will never ever be good enough for me & that by his behavior I am just totally repulsed but I don't wanna start a barrage of messages between us. Does anyone have any advice? I don't know what to do besides either ignore or be mean. How old are you? Sleep with me!
Mike_d Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 lol @ Breck for trolling the lounge with his PUA out 2
Author dsw31 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 That's cute but I'm being serious.I wanna vomit into his eyes & mouth & burn his mucousy cavities with my acidy spewings.
Mike_d Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 when you reply to his messages you feed his trolling, if you want it to stop then you need to stop. delete them as they come in, don't answer his calls, ignore emails. and go to work on trying to figure out exactly what about all this bothers you so that you can learn not to care. what goes on with him, what he says, how he feels, it doesn't matter. sexy avatar btw
Author dsw31 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 when you reply to his messages you feed his trolling, if you want it to stop then you need to stop. delete them as they come in, don't answer his calls, ignore emails. and go to work on trying to figure out exactly what about all this bothers you so that you can learn not to care. what goes on with him, what he says, how he feels, it doesn't matter. sexy avatar btw Thanks Mike_d I really only replied once.He sent me 9 texts yesterday & I ignored all of them.Today he texted me 6 times by noon so I decided to just send him 1 message back telling him not to contact me anymore.I will not be replying anymore though, as tempting as it is to tell him that he makes me sick but I have to remember this.... "A wise head keeps a still tongue" Thanks! I am a real life succubus. ;-)
Hindsight_is_20_20 Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Well I dated a guy for about a month & broke it off with him a few weeks ago.Told him I'm emotionally struggling & can't do it at this point.He said he will miss me like crazy but will respect my wishes. Then about 2 weeks later, he texts me from a different phone number saying he hopes I am well & let him know if we can play a game of tennis.I didn't know who it was so I responded asking who it was.He said he got a new phone & we had small talk & I told him I would meet up as JUST FRIENDS but not to expect anything romantic from me.He agreed. We met up the other night & had coffee & then watched a fight on TV.The whole night I was extremely distant & made no hint of wanting anything more than friendship.At the end of the night,he wanted to talk.Wanted to know if I was not attracted to him anymore.I said,it's not that.I am just honestly not over my ex & hanging with him made me miss my ex even more.He flipped out! He was yelling & saying I can't believe it! So when we were having sex,you were thinking of your ex?He said I was a liar & said he really thought we had something special.Blahblahblah.I was actually a little frightened so I played it Cool & finally got rid of him.He even said that he was sorry for over reacting but his emotions got the best of him.He said he understands how I feel about my ex because that's how he feels about me.I said"it's not the same! I was with him for 3 years,we were just seeing each other for a month" So...a couple of days go by & now he has been a text message terrorist!There's way too much for me to type here but basically saying that I'm a liar & how could I take him into this world of sex & that It's my fault "things are spiraling out of control"(his words) I ignored about 10 messages & then I replied this morning.I said"listen up...you are acting crazy & I don't want you to ever message me again"He replied"saying that it's not crazy,he just wants closure.Deal with it"Then said"You were boring anyway,later" Mind you this guy is 43 years old! I thought that was the last of it but he just messaged me from the dating site I met him on.It said"Why are you still on here?You're still in love with your ex.Undateable,remember?" So.....I am getting more & more angry & even disguisted by his behavior.I have the urge to tell him exactly why he will never ever be good enough for me & that by his behavior I am just totally repulsed but I don't wanna start a barrage of messages between us. Does anyone have any advice? I don't know what to do besides either ignore or be mean. I think you might get better responses from the "Dating" section of this site. Most of the people in the "Breaking Up/Coping" forum are going to more than likely identify with this random guy in your post.
Author dsw31 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 I think you might get better responses from the "Dating" section of this site. Most of the people in the "Breaking Up/Coping" forum are going to more than likely identify with this random guy in your post. I kinda suspected the same thing. Truth is...I identify with being both the dumper & the dumpee.I was dumped 5 months ago & I'm still devastated.I just thought that since we only knew each other for about a month, I figured I was doing the right thing by breaking it off before he got more attached.(he got attached way too quick) THANKS FOR ALL THE REPLIES SO FAR EVERYONE!
Hindsight_is_20_20 Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 I kinda suspected the same thing. Truth is...I identify with being both the dumper & the dumpee.I was dumped 5 months ago & I'm still devastated.I just thought that since we only knew each other for about a month, I figured I was doing the right thing by breaking it off before he got more attached.(he got attached way too quick) THANKS FOR ALL THE REPLIES SO FAR EVERYONE! Breaking it off was the right thing to do. I've had a few guys come out of the woodwork since my breakup too but I flat out told them "you don't want to date me right now". Even with that said, they don't listen. One convinced me that all he wanted was sex, so one thing let to another and we hooked up one night. Then, I went out to lunch with a guy from work about a week later and he blew up my phone with hateful jealous texts. It's best to just buy a toy at this point.. people are going to get hurt. I imagine you're attractive too. It's going to happen, guys are going to want you, especially now that you're single. Just be straight up with them and unless you're totally sure they want nothing more than physical stuff, you'll avoid the drama. Twisted isn't it? It's like the more you want them the more unlikely it is to win them over. Then, once you don't give a ****, "Oh, hello to all you guys that are falling all over yourselves to get to this girl!! It's so messed up.
Author dsw31 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 Breaking it off was the right thing to do. I've had a few guys come out of the woodwork since my breakup too but I flat out told them "you don't want to date me right now". Even with that said, they don't listen. One convinced me that all he wanted was sex, so one thing let to another and we hooked up one night. Then, I went out to lunch with a guy from work about a week later and he blew up my phone with hateful jealous texts. It's best to just buy a toy at this point.. people are going to get hurt. I imagine you're attractive too. It's going to happen, guys are going to want you, especially now that you're single. Just be straight up with them and unless you're totally sure they want nothing more than physical stuff, you'll avoid the drama. Twisted isn't it? It's like the more you want them the more unlikely it is to win them over. Then, once you don't give a ****, "Oh, hello to all you guys that are falling all over yourselves to get to this girl!! It's so messed up. Hot damn! You're on fire HindSight! I've always said that...whenever you don't really like someone that much,they're dying to be with you.Then...the ones you REALLY want,don't want you back.Human nature, I guess. BTW-funny you mentioned the toy thing! I bought my very 1st one a week ago & I can't get enought of it! Lol! :-)
soccerrprp Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Sounds a little scary. Block him on your dating site and your phone.
thecoolkid Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 This situation you got yourself in SUCKS... Anyhow, we all make mistakes so to move forward you may want to get the local authorities involved if he becomes aggressive, which is likely.
soccerrprp Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 This reminded me of my ex's question to me before we even met. She asked if we didn't click on the first date whether I would be nice about it and not get angry. I thought the question was a little odd, but understandable, I guess. I never asked if she had encountered someone who had become aggressive after a date not working out. I wonder how often this happens?
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