youngnlove89 Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 I just sent him a text that said "Wow. Good to know you haven't talked to me for almost 6 days" We aren't offically broken up. He knows I'm mad at him for not calling me once during his 4 day vacation. Why did I do that!? I feel like an idiot. And I wish I didn't say anything. Ugh. Oh and no, he didn't respond.
Mike_d Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 NC START DATE: 8/13/12 --- I can do this. like! +1 the past is the past, figure out what you learned, ever forward
Author youngnlove89 Posted August 15, 2012 Author Posted August 15, 2012 like! +1 the past is the past, figure out what you learned, ever forward Yea now I have to change it. Lovely. I'm so dumb!
Mike_d Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 Yea now I have to change it. Lovely. I'm so dumb! you're not dumb, just experienced another "learning opportunity" is all. if you keep repeating behavior that you dislike in yourself then that's another story. now you have to be responsible for that new date, once you have a week under your belt it becomes even more important, 2 weeks then 2x as important. baby steps and be easy on yourself, just keep moving forward.
lovehurts82 Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 Awww! And you sounded like you were doing so well with the NC! Oh well! Live and learn. Those first few days are the hardest.. or were for me at least. It's not been all that long for mine, either.. Though the last contact I had with mine was on the 10th and I only said anything because he had texted first and I told him I couldn't have contact with him now. Not until I was ready.. and I didn't know when that would be. Each day it gets a little easier when you start getting yourself busy, finding things to occupy your time and mind, and begin refinding your inner strength and realizing that you're gonna be okay. Hang in there! When you feel like you really need to contact him.. write it here.. send it off into cyberspace to get it out of your system, but hand in there@ Be strong!
Author youngnlove89 Posted August 15, 2012 Author Posted August 15, 2012 you're not dumb, just experienced another "learning opportunity" is all. if you keep repeating behavior that you dislike in yourself then that's another story. now you have to be responsible for that new date, once you have a week under your belt it becomes even more important, 2 weeks then 2x as important. baby steps and be easy on yourself, just keep moving forward. ' Well we didn't officially break up. He went on a trip for 4 days out of state. He texted me once, but didn't call me for FOUR days. We were already on the rocks (trying to make things work), so that made me mad that he couldn't call me. Then he calls me Monday 2 times at 10pm when he got home from out of state. I ignored him. And today, Wednesday, is when I tried to contact him and now he ignores me. What is going on?
outofgoodbyes Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 youre not dumb, it happens to the best of us. you know you shouldnt have but you did... but dont beat yourself up for it. if he wanted to keep in contact with you, nothing can keep him away. and everytime you speak to him, it will set you back. figure out what you really want to do. sounds like you want him to chase you even though you know damn well that it wouldnt work out because he doesnt want you that way... he cannot chase you if you keep chasing him... and nc is not for you to teach him a lesson like "ha! im gonna keep ignoring you so you can change your mind about being with me" if he wants to change his mind, he will. if he wanted to be your boyfriend, you will still be together... im sorry this is harsh but the reality is... there is nothing you can do but nc... this is all on him!
outofgoodbyes Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 ' Well we didn't officially break up. He went on a trip for 4 days out of state. He texted me once, but didn't call me for FOUR days. We were already on the rocks (trying to make things work), so that made me mad that he couldn't call me. Then he calls me Monday 2 times at 10pm when he got home from out of state. I ignored him. And today, Wednesday, is when I tried to contact him and now he ignores me. What is going on? why dont you call him and figure things out? i thought YOU had dumped him?
Mike_d Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 ' Well we didn't officially break up. He went on a trip for 4 days out of state. He texted me once, but didn't call me for FOUR days. We were already on the rocks (trying to make things work), so that made me mad that he couldn't call me. Then he calls me Monday 2 times at 10pm when he got home from out of state. I ignored him. And today, Wednesday, is when I tried to contact him and now he ignores me. What is going on? so, just to be sure I'm clear here. he goes on trip. texts 2x, we dont know if you texted back. during the duration of the 4 day trip he doesn't call, but does text. your feelings get hurt because he doesnt call. So when he does call you ignore him. the call that you got butt hurt about not getting.... the call that you now wont pick up... twice... so you ignore him, and then you act surprised and butt hurt again when he ignores you, basically mimicing your behav towards him. ok for you to do to him, but god forbid he does the same thing to you. did I miss anything? seems kinda co-dep to me... no dog in this fight, but you've made you bed in a sense, a bit of self sabotage at play if I have the above right.
Author youngnlove89 Posted August 15, 2012 Author Posted August 15, 2012 So this is what happened: He ended up calling me. We talked and our stil confused about whether we should stay together or let go and I said this: "I want all of you (bf/gf) or nothing at all (not even friends). I will give you two weeks to decide what you want. In two weeks you think about whether you want to be my boyfriend or a stranger. Don't call me until two weeks is up. After two weeks, you can call me, text me, or email me your answer. But that will be your final answer." He said okay and he will call me in two weeks
Mike_d Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 why are you giving your power away, and leaving him to make a decision about that? you're just going to do what he says? from a post last week: If a girl told me "i'm 95% into you" I'd be 100% out the door a minute later. If he was really into you he'd be moving mountains. That said you seem to have some pretty high emotional needs that you look to your partner to fill, are you doing anything to figure out how to better balance that out?
Author youngnlove89 Posted August 15, 2012 Author Posted August 15, 2012 so, just to be sure I'm clear here. he goes on trip. texts 2x, we dont know if you texted back. during the duration of the 4 day trip he doesn't call, but does text. your feelings get hurt because he doesnt call. So when he does call you ignore him. the call that you got butt hurt about not getting.... the call that you now wont pick up... twice... so you ignore him, and then you act surprised and butt hurt again when he ignores you, basically mimicing your behav towards him. ok for you to do to him, but god forbid he does the same thing to you. did I miss anything? seems kinda co-dep to me... no dog in this fight, but you've made you bed in a sense, a bit of self sabotage at play if I have the above right. I texted him back. Said he would not call me because he didn't want to screw with my feelings. When he did call it was 10pm. I called back and he didn't answer.
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