judged Posted July 15, 2004 Posted July 15, 2004 Hi, I am dating a woman who is separated from her husband, and my friends has made some comments about her being still married, but sleeping around. I met her at a bar, asked her out and we slept together the first night. They are not terribly impressed with her "moral" standards. Personally, I think she is a lovely person, and she wants to move on with her life, why not? Eventually, she is planning to do the paperwork. The process can be lengthly. She does not have children with her ex so it should be simple enough. Now, I think she is very nice, but everyone says that I should not tell co-workers or bring her anywhere. My friends are nice and supportive. They do not care who I sleep with as long as I am happy. Their point is that some people, may think of her behavior "slot" like. According to them, they are just preparing me for others. They want to make sure I am realistic and wait until she decides to get divorced before introducing her to others outside friends. What do you think? how would you judge a person who is separated but sleeping around?
jen4 Posted July 15, 2004 Posted July 15, 2004 no she isn't being "slut" like in my opinion,which may be biased. Some people need to get off their high horse! I was seperated for about 9 months before my ex filed the papers,no reason,just didn't see a need for filing right away,we lived separate though. I dated obviously and think it's fine,separation is about the same as divorced,well except the paperwork. as far as introducing her to friends,if you feel comfortable in doing so,do it. She's not the first woman to date while seperated and won't be the last. good luck.
SummerLove Posted July 15, 2004 Posted July 15, 2004 Well, I am a separated woman who is sleeping with my boyfriend and I am not a slut! I don't think there's anything wrong with dating while separated. I have already filed for divorce which will be final in a few more months. My boyfriend has only been supportive and encouraging through everything. Has the woman you are dating actually filed yet? I think the only thing to take into consideration is how serious you want this relationship to be. If she wants it to be serious and wants to be with you, she should file for a divorce. What good does waiting do? I thought it would take time too but I found a paralegal which helped me file and made my life a whole lot easier. And if she hasn't, maybe it's something you two should discuss. There's alway the possibility that she will go back to her ex. Is that something you are willing to accept? Either way, what matters is the relationship that you two have with one another, not what everyone else thinks. Your friends, if they really are true friends, should be open to anyone you date. They don't have to be best friends with her. They should just be courteous of you and your relationship.
tiki Posted July 16, 2004 Posted July 16, 2004 My personal opinion is to not get serious until you get divorced. If you get serious, then why would you still be married?! If it takes a few months for the state to divorce you, hopefully you wouldn't find someone THAT quickly and be serious with them. After divorce, time to yourself is vital. I had no choice BUT TO GET TO KNOW MYSELF. I was nothing but a better person for that. That's MY opinion.
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