Seriously frustrated

[KansasChica]

Okay, so I just need to vent. I don't get it. I know that I shouldn't compare my situation to others, but I don't understand why things happen the way they do.

 

My ex and I were together for close to ten months. We were happy; things were good. We talked about moving in together eventually and met each other's families. We had a lot of mutual friends and we shared the same hobbies. Our connection was strong! People called us super couple. Then, out of nowhere, he ended it and never looked back. I was left shocked and devastated. There was NC for a good 6 months. I was never clingy- I just wanted the dust to settle. In that time, I'm pretty sure he didn't date anyone seriously. I didn't either. He started popping back up at mutual friends' parties and whatnot and I could feel him gazing at me and reminiscing about our time together. I asked him for coffee about a month ago and asked where he stood and he said he wanted to continue to date other people. That definitely stung, but I took him for his word. Despite that, we sat and chatted for a good 2 hours about everything and then I left. Now, he's back to avoiding me again- I guess that's a good thing. I legit need to move on and it's best that he's out of my life.

 

I guess the thing that I'm frustrated is at the same time we broke up, like 4 other of our couple friends broke up too. We are all around the same age (mid to late 20s/ early 30s). Every other couple has worked out their issues and stayed together. My ex wouldn't fight at all! He just cut and run! He told me he still loved me and has missed me, but would still rather be alone than be with me. Ugh!!

 

*again, sorry for the vent. It just helps to write this stuff out since I'm trying not to vent to friends anymore*

[youngnlove89]

Okay, so I just need to vent. I don't get it. I know that I shouldn't compare my situation to others, but I don't understand why things happen the way they do.

 

My ex and I were together for close to ten months. We were happy; things were good. We talked about moving in together eventually and met each other's families. We had a lot of mutual friends and we shared the same hobbies. Our connection was strong! People called us super couple. Then, out of nowhere, he ended it and never looked back. I was left shocked and devastated. There was NC for a good 6 months. I was never clingy- I just wanted the dust to settle. In that time, I'm pretty sure he didn't date anyone seriously. I didn't either. He started popping back up at mutual friends' parties and whatnot and I could feel him gazing at me and reminiscing about our time together. I asked him for coffee about a month ago and asked where he stood and he said he wanted to continue to date other people. That definitely stung, but I took him for his word. Despite that, we sat and chatted for a good 2 hours about everything and then I left. Now, he's back to avoiding me again- I guess that's a good thing. I legit need to move on and it's best that he's out of my life.

 

I guess the thing that I'm frustrated is at the same time we broke up, like 4 other of our couple friends broke up too. We are all around the same age (mid to late 20s/ early 30s). Every other couple has worked out their issues and stayed together. My ex wouldn't fight at all! He just cut and run! He told me he still loved me and has missed me, but would still rather be alone than be with me. Ugh!!

 

*again, sorry for the vent. It just helps to write this stuff out since I'm trying not to vent to friends anymore*

 

That's tough. But I think he doesn't want to hurt you, he wants you to move on too. Because a guy that truly wants to be with you will move mountains for you, as Greg Behrendt the author of "He's Just Not That Into You" said. You should really read that book! It's a life saver. Made me realize a lot of thngs.

 

He didn't fight for you because he has nothing to fight for. I know it's hard to hear, I know it hurts to be rejected and not fought for. You're not alone. I'm here too. It SUCKS!! But you just have to go through that pain.

[TigerCub]

Hey Kansas,

 

I'm sorry that you're so hurt and frustrated.

 

It does seem like he is doing his best to be honest with you.

Your ex isn't at the stage in his life where he wants to settle down with anyone (I don't mean marriage), I just mean that he still wants to date others and not commit.

 

I think he did you a great service by breaking up with you because he could have stayed and just cheated on you and betrayed you and played you for a fool and that would have left so many deeper scars.

 

I'm sorry that it didn't work out with him, but don't feel bad that the other couples got back together. You don't really know what's going on inside their relationships after all.

 

Good luck

[KansasChica]

Thanks. I do think you're both right. He's definitely not there- ready to settle down into anything serious. I wasn't either, really, until I met him. Now I'm just trying to keep hope and faith that I will find someone that would fight for something. Must. move. ahead!