Coyoteloco Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 Hello, this is my story, i been with this girl for 5 years, shes my highschoolsweetheart, we had great times together, and we alwasy wanted to be together talked everyday with eachother, and i was the only man for her and she was the only girl for me (meaning i never actually cheated on her). So everything was great, but this year things got a bit nasty, she started going out with her new girlfriends from the university alot, and they kinda brainwashed her, and i was begining to get very jealous, but i was still inlove with her and i was trying to make things work. Then she took this one month job at he cinema, and as soon as this happen i had this feeling that things were going to get ****ed up. So one day she calls me and says shes confused and i go to talk to her. next thing i know is that she tells me she kinda feels things for this coworker she met 2 weeks ago. I tell her to go **** herself and that i dont want to be with her anymore. The next week after that we talked a bit more, and last time i saw her i told her to think about it and maybe give us a second chance. She said she still loved me, that se was going through some rough time, and even tryed to kiss me, and talked about her future like if i was in it. So the next 2 weeks are of NC. Until this monday when i was in class and i get a call from her, i couldnt pick up because i was in class. So when i get home, and after thinking about it, and 5 hours after the actual call i text her, 10 seconds later my phone starts ringing and it was her. We started talking and she was crying, and sniffing in the background, she asked me a few things, and said shes happy to see that im doing so well. So i kept the call short of around 3 min and said that its so nice to hear from her. Almost inmediatly after the call i get a text from her, which i didnt notice so she talks to me on facebook to tell me if i had seen her text. I go and read the text, and it said something like "im so glad your doing so well, how are you taking all of this? you think its working for something?" and i tell her "yes i think we couldnt be together with the things that were going on". She doesnt answear and that was the end of contact. Ok so that was a bit long lol, im thinking maybe shes regretting her desicion, and after thinking about it i dont know if the second chance comes up, if i should take it, cause maybe in the future when this happens all over again im going to beat myself for getting back together with her, but in the other hand we are so inlove with each other, and maybe this time out was necesary to clear our minds and find out if we really love eachother. So in the case that i want to go back with her, what should i do, keep NC with her? wait for her to start contact again? also any advice or suggestion is welcome cheers
Author Coyoteloco Posted August 15, 2012 Author Posted August 15, 2012 please answer, i got times when i miss her like crazy (right now) and then theres times where i think its best for us to not be together. im sad
Ninja'sHusband Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 Sorry for the cynicism and negative message here...but I'm a 36 yr old who is divorcing after 18 years with the same woman. She was faithful for the first 11 years. She had a minor indiscresion with a guy(7 yrs ago) then this last year she had a full blown affair. Ending a 14 year marriage with a child involved is by far the worst experience of my life... I kick myself for not seeing the subtle signs in the beginning. I had none like what you are seeing. You can be forgiving and stick it outif you feel strongly enough, it's your decision. But it sounds like you are young. I'd hate for you to be in my position 15+ years down the road.
AlexfromBoston Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 As the resident POS on this forum I would suggest for you to give it another go and see what happens. But take it slow and dont give her the reigns in the relationship. Look at it on the brightside, at least she was honest and told you about a guy she had interest in. Some girls would just play the field and hop into another relationship while keeping you in the dark. The problem here is that you told her to go f--k herself and hung up. Probably not the most mature response in this scenario but I hear ya. Now, if I were you, I would proceed to initiate this revival with kid gloves and approach her with caution. While you are attempting to revive a dusted flame, you could maintain Saturday nights as your "boys night out". Have fun, relax and maybe meet some new women in the process. Who knows, maybe you'll find another special girl that will cause you to perform a complete role reversal. If not, you can focus your time on repairing your relationship, while having fun with friends. Remember, she did the exact same thing to you.
Author Coyoteloco Posted August 15, 2012 Author Posted August 15, 2012 yes, so i didnt literaly told her to go **** herself, i was pretty polite in this process, as much as i could be, but i was really hurt. So do you think this signs of her calling me crying and the text message she sends me, do u think that means she might wanna come back with me? Maybe ill see her this sunday on a friends birthday, but i dont really know if she is going. Lets see how it goes, and if u guys could give me some advice and stuff on how to aproach to her, or if i should wait that she aproaches to me... thanks
AlexfromBoston Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Coyote, I wil say, with fair certainty, that she does miss and she would love nothing more than to be back in a relationship with you. Whether she returns to you or not is all depending on how you handle yourself. I don't see any harm in shooting her a quick text saying that you plan on attending this birthday party on Sunday and ask what you should get him/her as a present. If she attends, this could be construed as a positive sign...especially knowing that you will be in attendance. I would absolutely intitiate conversation with her as a means to simply say hi. Do not discuss your situation in this environment and if she initiates a relationship talk, make sure you tell her that you would prefer to discuss it another time, as this is not the time nor place. This will open you up for another encounter. Also, don't hang around her neck during the entire party. Seem confident and perhaps slightly distant and let her know that you are capable of having a great time with or without her. Remember, you are the man and this is your show. Don't grovel and don't show weakness. Goodluck bro. If you don't mind, let me know how it pans out.
Recommended Posts