proceed with caution Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 So, my girlfriend of 1 1/2 yrs went on a cruise and hung out and kissed another man for the last 2 days of the cruise, maybe a total of 10 times for those 2 days. When she got backed she told me what she did and says that is all she did. Shes hoping that we can get over this and move on. Im finding it real hard though to do that and called it off. However, weve been speaking about what happened and shes asking for a second chance. Im not sure if i can do that and need to know, as a man, what is the correct thing to do? PLEASE HELP!!!
yongyong Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 how did you find out? she just kissed him....lol I wouldn't do stupid actions like 'sarah, I will forgive you, please don't do that again. you know how much I love you. come here- big hug' I would just keep poker face and act cool around her. I would still have sex with her while looking for something to move on. Go out, explore your options. Once you have other options, you can make decisions easier. when you think she is the best you can have, then it will affect your decision.
Author proceed with caution Posted August 15, 2012 Author Posted August 15, 2012 So you think i should just keep her for now as i look around for something better? Its sounds like a very good idea! Should I do what she did to me once I find a better person? Will this even work?
Author proceed with caution Posted August 15, 2012 Author Posted August 15, 2012 Sorry I forgot to answer your initial question. Well i truly dont know if thats all she did Im just accepting and believing what she has told me. She said that it was just kissing and as I said in the initial post, I called it off. So we are not together. However, we have been speaking and I asked her if she is sure that is all she did, and she told me yes. Now granted, like I said above, I truly will never know if that is true or not, but she sounded sincere that that is all she did. I really like your advice of playing the field while i still have some fun time with her Im just not too sure how this will affect me. I hope to hear back from you and thanks.
Emilia Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 If she didn't have sex with the guy it's because the trip was over. She probably doesn't have the means to have contact with that guy. You don't kiss someone 10 times and not want it to go further. Find someone else. If you 'look around for someone better' you are effectively doing the same as her and you also keep yourself in a hurtful situation. Besides, no decent woman will want you when they find out you are stringing along someone while keep looking for a new relationship. 1
rocketman122 Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 Nice of her to be honest with you. maybe she's using this tactic to get more attention from you? but if not then I would not be able to trust her again. this time kissing, next time fellatio/cunnilingus, and after that all the way. she has the dna of a cheater in her. you have to move on. but cut it off then find someone. but truthfully, it could be she kissed him 1000 times. 1 time is too much. sorry buddy. 1
veggirl Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 LOL of course she wants to forget it happened and move on She's not the one who actually has anything to "move on" from! Geesh. First of all, I would really doubt all they did was kiss. Second of all, HOW does that happen TEN TIMES?! This should be an instant and permanent dump. She has no respect for you or your relationship and can not be trusted. Ten times...damn, what a slap in the face (over and over and over). 3
oaks Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 Walk away. Don't look back. Block her number. Collect your thoughts, do any healing etc. Then find someone new who has more respect for relationships than your cheating ex. 1
ChatroomHero Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 Sounds like a pre-emptive strike to tell you something happened to relieve her guilt but not have to admit she had sex or went further. I agree totally with what was said above, she has nothing to move on from but wants you to. Tell her you need to sleep around a bit before you can make a decision if you want her back.
CarrieT Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 \ Now granted, like I said above, I truly will never know if that is true or not, I really like your advice of playing the field while i still have some fun time with her Im just not too sure how this will affect me. I'm not sure why you think this is good advice. You are already hurting from having your GF fool around on you so why would you want to do that to someone else? Think about how it will affect you - do you want to be a deceitful player who hurts someone (and possibly others) because someone has hurt you? Jeeeeeshh...
InJest Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 There's nothing wrong with playing the field and still banging his ex g/f. If he can stay emotionally detached from his ex, it will help him get laid elsewhere while he decides what to do with the ex.
Author proceed with caution Posted August 15, 2012 Author Posted August 15, 2012 I must truly say thanks to all involved in this thread. You have all given good advice and ur right "CarrieT" it is not a good idea to do that to someone else. It really hurt me and i dont wish that pain on anyone. Ive read enough threads on this subject to make a good, respectful and correct decision and that is, I must leave her and move on to someone that will really appreciate who i am. Once again, thanks to all. 3
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