Peppergale Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 (edited) I moved out from my live-in boyfriend exactly 1 week ago. We were together a week short of two years, then he suddenly said "We don't have a future together" and broke up with me out of nowhere. We are both about to start our final year of college, and he wants to "live up his last year," moved into his frat house, and parties almost every day now. When I saw his mom the other day, she told me he still cares for me, but must make his own mistakes. She feels that he "must" live some sort of college experience that he talks about. He texts me, but it's always about business-type things, such as subleasing our old apartment or getting something of his back. It's just so hard to move on because we were so very compatible and great together. When he broke up with me, he was even confused as to why I needed to move out. He said "we are great roommates" and saw no need for either of us to part ways. We had broken up once this past Christmas because we had a minor argument about how I wanted him to spend more time with me, and he just broke up with me. We got back together a month later when he came crawling back. I just don't know if he will ever come back, and, if he does, should I even take him back? I love him and we were so happy before he decided to throw it all away to party. Edited August 15, 2012 by Peppergale
Drseussgrrl Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 You are both young and yes a lot of guys feel the need to sow their wild oats while in college. It's something they eventually grow out of in their mid to late 20's. Don't sit around and wait for him to come crawling back again. Let him go and do what he wants. Men often times feel that when they have all the freedom in the world (like you're going to give to him), it's not as great as they thought it would be. Cut all contact and go about your life. Think of it this way - this is the ONLY time in your life where you get to be completely selfish without the constraints of family, career, mortgage, etc and all the crap that comes with adulthood. Heck - you should be out living it up, too. 2
Author Peppergale Posted August 18, 2012 Author Posted August 18, 2012 You guys are so right. I read the G.I.G.S. article, and it was exactly the same. I feel better that I know what is going on now! I couldn't find out what happened, or if it was something I did. Now I know I didn't do anything wrong! I'm going to enjoy my last year and (try to) get over this fool as quickly as possible!
biogirl05 Posted August 18, 2012 Posted August 18, 2012 forget about this loser and focus on your goals. take this opportunity to really live the college life, take it from me, you'll miss it when it's gone. Don't get back with this guy. yes, it's nice to have those fun years, but this is not a valid enough excuse to forgive him for breaking up with you to have them. also he broke up with you for wanting to spend more time with him? This is a bullet you are dodging right now. Dodge it, girl! you are on to better things
Author Peppergale Posted August 23, 2012 Author Posted August 23, 2012 I know I shouldn't have done this, but I called my ex because I truly needed to know what happened. It was killing me inside. I had no contact for a long time, but I just had to know. When I asked him what happened, he said he has told me many, many time and that we have already discusses it over and over again. This is not true, so I told him to just say since we have "been talking about it so much." Finally, he told me. He said that the last month we were together, I was annoying him so much. He lied and said we had tried talking about it, but I was still annoying him and he doesn't want a future with someone who annoys him all the time. He also said he wanted to be able to go out with his friends without feeling bad about not hanging out with me. I never got mad when he hung out with them; I would just call, ask where he was, and say okay. I think he just felt guilty about that one. He then said it was our last years in college and we should have as much fun as possible. So I need to go enjoy it. I told him that we could have easily talked about me being annoying (because now I remember it, and I had done that on purpose because he wasn't talking to me much) and how I never had issues with him hanging out with his friends. I feel a bit of closure now that I know the true reason, but I also feel regret because these issues are not huge issues. They could have easily been fixed if we were to have communicated properly. I told him he needs to date another girl, so he will realize that our issues are very minor compared to other relationship's problems, but he said he isn't looking for any relationships. Is this still G.I.G.S., or is this now truly a break-up with a reason?
Author Peppergale Posted August 23, 2012 Author Posted August 23, 2012 Oh wow, I just reread by own post and, you are right, it is G.I.G.S. Thank you so much for all the help. I truly appreciate it. Do you have any advice on getting over someone as quickly as possible?
Author Peppergale Posted August 23, 2012 Author Posted August 23, 2012 Thanks for all the help. : ) You say that you had GIGS and went through it? When you had it, did you kind of know what was happening or where you kind of blinded about what was happening? Do you mind sharing your experience? I understand if you don't want to. I'm just looking for all the information I can get.
Author Peppergale Posted August 25, 2012 Author Posted August 25, 2012 I talked to my friends today, and I just can't understand what GIGS feels like. My reasoning is, if he loved me enough then he wouldn't leave me, right? Does this mean he just didn't love me enough? I read the posts that said he is in a dream, but wouldn't the love overcome this dream-like way of thinking? Also, does part of this GIGS include that he thinks he can find a better girl than me? I understand how he doesn't want to be fully committed and wants to live his life fully as himself. However, my friends said they know their SO is the very best they can do and they love them to death for it. I was just wondering, what if this isn't GIGS, and what if he just thinks he find a better girl? Sorry, I know I am a bit obsessive. I just want to understand. :/
Author Peppergale Posted August 25, 2012 Author Posted August 25, 2012 You are completely right. Everything you say matches perfectly to what he seems to be thinking based on how he is acting. He just wants to have fun and experience "something/everything." It's weird for him though, because he is not a people person. He generally hates other girls, so I cannot see him actually getting into a relationship. Am I being naive? On another note, if he wants to live the college experience, then he will only get that for one year. After all, we both graduate in a year. I am guessing after that, he will experience GIGS in the traveling/dating others sense? Or can GIGS last only one year? He would be 24 then, so I guess not. We just finished getting our financial stuff in order yesterday, so I am now 100% completely done with him. I guess I will either never see him again, or years from now. I don't like this one bit, but life isn't easy!
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